


Meant to Be

by Fr333bird



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-06
Updated: 2012-04-06
Packaged: 2017-11-03 03:58:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 88,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/376931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fr333bird/pseuds/Fr333bird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The first time I see Riley, my eyes lock onto him and I can't look away." Seth and Riley's lives are shattered by events beyond their control. Can they overcome the challenges they face and still be together? Slash, AU, contains wolves and vamps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meant to Be

**Chapter 1**

****The first time I see Riley my eyes lock onto him and I can’t look away. I’m sitting on the beach at La Push with my friends, letting the warm sand trickle idly through my fingers as we talk and joke around. It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon in late spring and we’ve all been tempted out by the unusually warm sunshine.

I lift my head and glance along the beach, and then I see him.

I freeze, my mouth half open, my hand now empty as the last grains of sand escape. Suddenly my focus is entirely devoted to the boy who’s just walked onto the beach with Embry. His skin’s paler than most of the Quileutes and his hair is brown rather than black, but his eyes are dark like mine. He’s slender and graceful, and when he turns his head and smiles at something that Embry says his face lights up. The only thought in my head is that I’ve never seen such a beautiful boy before. I can’t stop staring as Embry catches sight of our group and heads towards us.

A fistful of sand being shoved down the back of my board shorts brings me abruptly back to the here and now.

“What the fuck?” I yell in protest, jumping up and shaking out as much of it as I can, glaring at Quil who’s laughing at me.

“You zoned out there for a minute, Dude. I was just helping to bring you back.”

“Next time, do it without the sand, asshole.” I wiggle my butt, and feel the soft whisper as more sand falls down the backs of my thighs. “That shit’s uncomfortable!”

Embry and the boy are right there now and Embry laughs when he sees my predicament.

“Hey, Guys. Meet Riley -- my new neighbor.” He introduces the rest of us to Riley. “It’s a lot of names to remember, we’ll quiz you later.” Embry smiles and the boy grins back.

“Nice to meet you all,” he says. His eyes flick around the circle as they sit down with us. I can’t decide whether it’s just my imagination, or whether they really do rest on me for a fraction longer than everyone else. 

Once he’s there I find myself struck by a peculiar kind of shyness. Normally I’m pretty sociable but this boy’s thrown me. Luckily my friends more than make up for it, and I don’t think that anyone notices my confusion. I try to keep my eyes away from him, but once or twice I look up and catch him watching me. His face is interested, thoughtful.

XOXOXOX

I get the lowdown on Riley from my mom. She knows everything that happens on the Res.

“He’s just moved back here with his mother,” she informs me as I help her sort the laundry. “He’s half Quileute, his father’s white. They moved away to Seattle when they married. But Riley’s dad died last year so she’s come back to live here again.”

“That sucks -- about his Dad I mean.” I feel sad for Riley, I know what it’s like to lose a father. My Dad died of a heart attack the year before -- totally out of the blue. We were all devastated. 

“Yes. It was cancer apparently. It can’t have been easy for them.”

My mom doesn’t meet my eye as she shakes out a pair of pants and folds them vigorously. Even now, she still finds it hard to talk about my Dad. I change the subject quickly. 

“I guess he’ll be going to Forks High.” There’s a school on the Res for younger students, but we get bussed out to Forks for high school. “Do you know how old Riley is? He looked my age.”

“Yes, he’ll be a junior too, I think,” she replies. Her eyes narrow as she looks at me with a knowing smile. “Why all the interest?” 

I feel my cheeks heat. My mom knows that I’ve never been interested in girls. She brought the subject up with me before I got around to mentioning it myself. I’m not open about my sexuality and have never had a boyfriend. But I know that I’m gay and Mom and my sister, Leah, do too.

“No reason,” I shrug and she chuckles. She knows me too damn well, so I add. “He probably likes girls anyway.” 

But I remember the way that he kept looking at me on the beach and feel a secret thrill of hope.

XOXOXOX

On Monday I see him in the line for the school bus. He catches my eye and grins so I smile back, trying not to look too eager. He’s standing with Embry, and Quil, who are chatting with each other as usual, so I move over to greet them. They’re my friends, I can do it without it looking weird.

“Hey, guys, how’s it going?”

“Not bad, Man,” Embry replies and the others grin and acknowledge me. But soon Quil and Embry are deep in conversation again, girl-related as usual. I take courage from the fact that Riley doesn’t seem too interested in what they’re talking about and grit my teeth and man up, moving a little closer to Riley and speaking to him directly.

“Hi again. I’m Seth,” I meet his eyes. Close up they’re a beautiful warm brown; lighter than mine but striking in his paler face. “We met at the beach, but I thought you might have forgotten -- there were a lot of us there on Saturday.”

“I remembered your name actually.” His lips curve in a smile and he flushes slightly, looking down at his feet for a second. 

I’m feeling awkward now, not sure how to continue the conversation. It’s not like me to be lost for words but something about Riley throws me. I want to make a connection with him but my social skills have deserted me.

I’m rescued by the arrival of the school bus, and as luck would have it he sits beside me as we scramble for places. Quil and Embry get on after us and sit on the other side of the aisle. I’m next to the window and am achingly aware of Riley -- right there next to me, close enough to touch as the bus pulls away.

Once we get on the main road to Forks I work up the courage to strike up conversation again. Knowing that we won’t be overheard because of the engine, I turn towards him.

“So, my mom told me about why you’ve moved back here. I’m really sorry about your dad.”

He meets my eyes and I can see the sadness there. “Thanks,” he says, then chews on his lower lip for a moment. When he releases it, the blood rushes back into it, leaving it pinker than usual. I realize that I’m staring at his mouth and pull my eyes back up to his but he doesn’t seem to have noticed. 

“My dad died last year too,” I tell him, wanting him to know that I understand how he’s feeling. 

Concern washes over his features and his eyebrows pull together in a frown. “Sucks, doesn’t it?” He says wryly, and I nod and grimace. 

I don’t think either of us want to get into a detailed conversation about heavy shit like that right now. So I change the subject and ask him about his classes. He’s a junior too and it sounds like he takes some of the same electives as me, so I hope that I’ll get to see plenty of him around school.

When we get to school I show him to the office and leave him there to work out his schedule with the administrator. 

“See you later,” I say as I leave the room.

He raises a hand and turns his beautiful smile on me. “Yeah, thanks, Seth.”

I don’t see him for the rest of the morning, but at lunchtime when I head into the cafeteria he’s there before me. I’m glad to see that he’s sitting at the table with the crowd that I usually hang with. Once I’ve got my lunch I pull up a chair on the opposite side of the table, not quite facing him -- but close enough to talk. He looks up and smiles as I sit down and I grin back.

It’s noisy and busy in there as usual. Quil and Embry are there, along with Jared and his girlfriend, Kim. My sister, Leah, is down at the end of the table with Jake. They’re seniors but they tend to sit with us at lunchtime. 

Bella’s there too, sitting next to Jake. She looks pale and ill, her mouth turned down at the corners. She’s been a mess since she split up with Edward Cullen. I don’t know Bella that well, but she’s close to Jake, who’s a good friend of mine. According to Jake, the bastard dumped her before leaving for a student exchange in Europe. He’s been gone for over two months now and hasn’t contacted her once, despite saying that he’d stay in touch. Bella’s become really dependent on Jake since Cullen left. This worries me because I know that Jake has feelings for her, but Bella is clearly still totally hung up on Cullen.

I glance over at the rest of the Cullen kids, who are sitting together as usual, and I notice Riley turn to look curiously at them. The Cullens always attract attention -- the way they look it’s impossible not to notice them. There’s something about them that gives me the creeps but I can’t pin down exactly what. There’s some tension between the elders of the tribe and the Cullen parents too. I don’t know what it’s about; Mom was evasive when I questioned her about it. But the upshot is that the Cullens aren’t welcome on the Res -- under any circumstances. 

Riley turns back to me and his lips quirk in amusement. “Is that table reserved for the beautiful people?”

“Something like that,” I chuckle, thinking that Riley wouldn’t look out of place with the Cullens if that’s the criteria. “They’re a weird family.”

His eyes snap back to them and the surprise shows on his face. “A family? What, all of them?”

“It’s complicated,” I reply. “There are five kids but they’re all adopted or fostered by the local doctor and his wife. The parents only look to be a few years older than the kids they’re responsible for, and are also too goddamn perfect looking to be real.”

“There’s only four of them there today,” Riley points out.

“Yeah, Edward -- he’s the older brother of the little dark girl, Alice -- is away on a foreign exchange at the moment.” I glance down the table at Bella as I speak, but I’m out of earshot. I look back at Riley and continue. “The two with fair hair are twins -- Jasper and Rosalie, and the big dude, Emmett isn’t related to any of the others but he’s going out with Rose.” I see Riley frown as he tries to absorb all the information. “I know -- it’s complicated isn’t it?” I grin. “And to make it even more fucked up, Alice -- the little one -- is going out with Jasper.”

“Holy shit,” Riley shakes his head and wrinkles his nose. “That’s just weird.”

“I know, right?” I shrug and dig in to my lunch. “Small town life, huh? You couldn’t make this shit up.”

XOXOXOX

Over the rest of the week I find myself spending more and more time with Riley. We have a few classes together so I see him around school a lot. At lunchtime he usually seems to end up sitting near me. Sometimes it’s my doing, sometimes it’s his. 

We get into the habit of sitting together on the school bus too. It just makes sense. Quil and Embry are pretty inseparable and although I have plenty of people that I hang out with, I’ve never really had a best friend before. There’s a space in my life that Riley naturally seems to fit into and it feels good. 

We talk a lot on the bus journey since it’s the only time that we’re alone together -- or close enough to alone, because people can’t really listen in to our conversations over the sound of the engine. The more we talk the more I like him. He’s funny and interesting and easy to talk to. He tells me about his old school in Seattle and the friends that he’s left behind. He never mentions a girlfriend and I can’t bring myself to ask. I tell him about life on the Res and about my family. We tend to avoid the subject of our fathers by mutual, unspoken consent. 

We’re in the same gym class on Friday afternoon and my eyes are drawn to Riley when we’re in the locker rooms changing. I try really hard not to look at him too much. I’m afraid of the effect that he might have on my body, but it’s difficult to resist the temptation. 

He’s a similar height to me, around six feet tall. But where I’m broad shouldered and still filling out rapidly, Riley’s quite slender. His body is all lean, graceful muscle. As he pulls his t-shirt over his head his abs flex and my eyes are drawn to the dark line of hair on his belly. I feel my dick start to fill and look away quickly, glad that I’ve already got my pants back on. If I was still in my underwear I’d never be able to hide the fact that I’m popping wood.

I reach for my t-shirt and pull it on quickly. When my head emerges I find that his eyes are on my abs as the fabric of my shirt slips down to cover them. His eyes flick up and he realizes that I’ve caught him looking; his cheeks flush slightly as he turns his eyes away. 

On the bus after school we’re unusually quiet. I’m thinking about the way that he was looking at me earlier and trying not to get my hopes up. It was just a look, it probably doesn’t mean anything at all.

Quil and Embry are in the seat behind us, discussing some new girl in their science class and how hot she is. 

Riley breaks the silence between us as he leans in close, his voice conspiratorial. “Do they ever talk about anything other than chicks?” 

“Not really,” I chuckle. “Maybe football sometimes?”

Our eyes meet and he holds my gaze. I feel a thrill down my spine at the intensity of his expression and I can’t look away.

“I’ve never heard you talk about girls,” he observes.

There’s an unmistakable question there, although it’s unspoken and I take a deep breath, steeling myself. I feel like I can trust Riley with this, even if he’s not the same as me... but I really hope he is.

“I’m not really interested in girls.” I say the words quietly, still meeting his eyes. 

When he smiles I’m exhilarated. And then when he leans in even closer -- close enough that I can smell the warmth of his skin -- and murmurs, “me neither,” I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy in my life.

He pulls back and we grin at each other, our secret shared.

**Chapter 2**

****The knowledge that Riley’s gay too, even though he didn’t use that word, leaves a warm feeling curled in my chest for the rest of the day. I remember the way that he looked at me in the locker room and the way that he leaned in close to confide in me on the bus. I’m pretty sure that he likes me, as more than just a friend.

I’m lying on my bed after dinner. I’d been trying to do some school work but all I can think about is Riley. I keep looking at my phone on my nightstand. We exchanged numbers during the week, but neither of us has actually called or texted the other yet. I pick it up and hold it; even just thinking about sending him a message makes my heart beat faster. For fuck’s sake, he’s a friend. I can just text him and see if he wants to meet up this weekend. Why is this so difficult?

I type several versions before I settle on one that sounds suitably low key -- I hope.

_Hey, just wondering if you wanna hang out sometime over the weekend?_ _  
_  
I press send before I can chicken out. Then I try and read again but I give up when I realize that I’ve read the same sentence about five times and it still doesn’t make any sense to me. Just as I’m putting the book down and wondering what to do next, my phone buzzes.

I grin as I read Riley’s reply. _Sure, that would be cool - tomorrow?_  
 _  
Yeah, do u wanna come over here? We could study together maybe._ I figure that if we have a focus it will be less awkward to start off with. _  
_  
_OK, is 10.30 good for you?_

_Yep, fine. cu then._

__I put my phone down with a huge-assed grin spreading across my face. I’m gonna get to spend time with Riley, just the two of us. I can’t fucking wait.

XOXOXOX

The next morning I get up earlier than normal and tidy my usually chaotic room. My mom raises her eyebrows at me as she catches me stuffing my dirty laundry into the basket.

“That makes a nice change,” she says. Usually Mom complains that she has to collect it from my floor once in a while just so she can find the carpet. 

“Riley’s coming over later,” I say by way of explanation. “To do some studying.”

“That’s nice,” she smiles. “It’ll be good to meet him. He can stay for lunch if he wants. I’m making soup, there’ll be plenty.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll ask him.” I hope that he’ll say yes, then he can stay here much longer.

 

Riley arrives just after half past ten. I take this as a good sign that he’s as eager to see me as I am to see him. There’s a little awkwardness as I let him in and we stand in the hallway, smiling and muttering our greetings. I’m so drawn to him physically I want to touch him and I have to consciously stop myself from putting a hand on his shoulder or standing too close to him. 

I take him through to the kitchen where Mom’s peeling vegetables and Leah’s sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. She looks up when we enter and Mom turns and smiles, wiping her hands on her apron as I introduce Riley.

“Riley, this is my mom, Sue. And Leah, my sister -- but you’ve seen her around school of course.”

“Yeah. Hi, Riley,” Leah raises a casual hand in greeting. She looks at him appraisingly and I feel uncomfortable. My sister’s quite perceptive; I’m pretty sure she knows that I like him -- that I _like_ him, like him.

My mom distracts me as she comes and takes Riley’s hand, greeting him formally but with a warm smile too. “Hi Riley, welcome to La Push. I hope you and your mom are settling back in okay.” 

“Yes, thanks,” Riley smiles back. “It’s all new to me, I was a baby when we left but I think Mom’s glad to be back.” 

There’s an uncomfortable moment as the conversation comes to a halt. I catch Riley’s eye.

“Do you wanna...” I gesture with my head to the door.

“Yeah, let’s go get some studying done,” he nods.

“If you’d like to stay for lunch, Riley, you’re very welcome,” Mom says as we turn towards the door.

“Thanks, Mrs Clearwater, that would be great.” Riley smiles as he accepts. 

“Call me Sue, dear,” she insists. “It makes me feel younger.” 

He grins. “Okay.”

“Come on, then,” I beckon, impatient now. I want him to myself for a while.

I gesture down the narrow hallway and he walks ahead of me. He has his phone in his hand and is already texting. “I’m just letting my mom know that I won’t be home for lunch.”

He pauses at the first door. “It’s the next one, second on the left.” I squeeze past him and open the door to my unusually tidy room. It’s small -- our whole house is small -- but it doesn’t look too bad when I pick all the shit up off the floor. 

He looks around and I wonder what he’s thinking. It’s not really a typical teenage boy’s room. The clutter is fairly typical I guess, but I don’t have any pictures of bikini models on the wall, or even football teams. The walls are mostly bare. I like them that way. They’re painted white and I like the light, I find it peaceful. The only picture on my wall is a huge poster of the moon. It’s a perfect photograph, every crater’s visible. I’ve had it since I was a kid when I was really into learning about space for a while. I used to have a bunch more of the solar system and stuff but I kind of grew out of those. But the moon one has stayed; it’s beautiful and I never get tired of looking at it.

I only have a single bed, there wouldn’t be room for anything bigger. It’s pushed up against the wall, under the window. There’s a nightstand next to it. On the opposite wall I have a wardrobe with drawers built in underneath and a desk with a couple of rickety shelves over it. The shelves are crammed with a mixture of school books, other books and CDs. It’s no wonder my room is always such a fucking mess; I just don’t have enough space for all my crap. 

“So, this is me.” I shrug. “It’s kinda small and messy.”

“It’s cool,” Riley says. “My room’s tiny too. Most of my stuff’s in boxes under my bed at the moment.”

He moves over to my bed and sits at the foot of it, leaning against the wall next to the window. He kicks his sneakers off and folds his legs up as he dumps his bag of books beside him. Seeing him sitting there, so casually, makes my heart thump harder. I move too and join him - sitting at the head of the bed, tucking my feet up too. 

He’s still looking around my room and his eyes rest on a framed photograph of my father that’s propped up in front of the books on my shelves. 

“Is that your dad?” he asks, turning to look at me.

I nod. “Yeah,” there’s a lump in my throat. I’ve been wanting to talk to Riley about him but now that I have the chance I don’t know what to say.

“How did he die?” Riley asks. 

It’s refreshing to be asked about him. Most people just change the subject when they find out that my Dad died. They don’t seem to know what to say to me and it clearly makes them uncomfortable. There’s none of that with Riley.

“He had a heart attack one day when he was out hunting. No warning at all, he was always really healthy before. He died right away. Charlie, Bella’s dad, was with him. He’s a cop and he knows his CPR but there was nothing he could do.”

I feel the hot swell as my eyes fill and my voice goes husky, but I don’t feel any shame for my emotions. I look at Riley as a tear escapes and trickles down my cheek, I swipe it away with the back of my hand. I can see that our conversation is affecting him too.

“It must have been hard not getting to say goodbye,” he says. “So sudden... I can’t imagine how that would feel.”

“Yeah... it was such a shock. It just didn’t feel real... you know? Took a while to sink in.” I take a shaky breath and pull myself together a bit, sniffing and wiping my eyes again. “But at least it was quick. I guess with your Dad it wasn’t like that at all.”

“No.” Riley gets out his phone and pulls up a photograph. He turns the screen towards me and I move to sit beside him so that I can see better. It’s a picture of a man, smiling. He looks a lot like Riley, only fairer, with light colored eyes -- but the family resemblance is unmistakable. “This is him, before...” he clears his throat, “before he got ill.”

“He has your smile,” I say. Riley’s leg’s touching mine the way we’re sitting now. I can feel the warm weight of it pressing against mine. It’s comforting.

“He was sick for two years,” Riley says quietly. “And for the last six months we knew there was no hope. He wanted to be able to go peacefully at home, but he had to go into the hospital to be treated for an infection and never came out again.” His voice breaks and I feel the tears flooding back into my eyes again. 

Without conscious thought I put my arm around Riley’s shoulders and squeeze. He responds by angling his body towards me and putting his arms around me. I twist my body to meet him and we hug, a little awkwardly. His breath hitches and I feel my tears slick between my cheek and the warm skin of his neck as we cling to each other for a few long moments.

I’m not sure who lets go first, but eventually we pull back and he gives me a weak smile. His face is wet too and his eyelashes are stuck in starry clumps. He sniffs and wipes his nose on the back of his hand.

“Sorry,” he chuckles. “That’s gross I know... but at least it wasn’t on your shoulder.”

I laugh too and the mood lifts. It’s been a while since I’ve cried for my Dad and I relish the feeling of lightness that always comes after letting out some of the sadness that I still carry around with me.

We pull out some books and I settle back up at the head of my bed again and we study for a while. An hour or so passes with periods of work interspersed with conversation until we’re interrupted by a knock on the door. My mom tells us that lunch is ready so we finish up and follow her to the kitchen. 

I sit beside Riley, facing my mom with Leah on my other side. Our kitchen is small and the table’s only just big enough for four. I feel Riley’s knee bump mine under the table once or twice and our elbows brush as we reach for seconds of sandwiches from the plate in the middle of the table. 

“Did you hear about the body they found in the woods?” Leah asks us. “It was on the news this morning.”

“No, where? What happened?” I ask.

“It was near one of the hiking trails a few miles up the coast,” my mom says, frowning with concern. “The police haven’t released any details but the rumors say it could have been an animal attack.” She sounds doubtful. “That’s the third one this year now.”

The conversation moves on but I’m left with a feeling of nagging anxiety. Animal attacks so close to La Push are usually rare. This sudden cluster of deaths is making everyone in the local community uneasy. There have also been a couple of hikers reported missing but their bodies haven’t been found. 

We all help to clean up after lunch, but when the doorbell rings Leah rushes off to answer it, a smile lighting her face. She comes back into the kitchen with Sam, her giant of a boyfriend. He greets me and Mom and I introduce him to Riley, amused by the contrast of Riley’s pale, slender hand in Sam’s huge one. 

“We’re going to Port Angeles for the afternoon, is it okay if I head out now, Mom?” Leah asks. 

“That’s fine, honey. The boys will finish up here I’m sure. Have fun.”

“Thanks, see you later.” Leah grabs Sam’s hand and tugs, he follows, turning to wave as he goes. 

“Wow, he’s enormous,” comments Riley as the front door closes behind them. 

“Yeah,” I agree. “I think he’s six foot four now, or something crazy like that. He shot up the last few inches since Christmas though, some weird growth spurt thing even though he’s nineteen.”

Mom leaves us to finish the dishes, saying she’s heading out to Forks for a couple of hours. Riley washes and I dry and put things away. When we’re done I turn to face him.

“X-box?” I suggest.

“Sure,” he nods. 

So, we go and sit in the living room for a while playing a racing game. We slouch companionably on the small couch, side by side with our feet up on the coffee table. I whip his ass at first, it’s not a game he’s played before but he picks it up fast and turns and grins in triumph when he finally manages to beat me. 

By the time Mom gets back it’s four o’clock. She pops her head around the door to say hello, and when Riley realizes the time he says that maybe he ought to get going.

“You don’t need to,” I say. “Unless you want to, I mean.” I flush, embarrassed at how eager I sound.

“I can hang out a while longer, I guess,” he looks pleased and I relax again. 

“Wanna go back to my room? We can do more studying or something?” I’m not really sure what the or something is. I just want to prolong the time I’m spending with him. 

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

We resume our positions on my bed and we open some books but end up talking and not really doing any schoolwork. 

I start to feel nervous because I know he’ll be going home soon, and I really want to ask him about the conversation that we had on the bus -- about girls, or rather about how he said he wasn’t interested in girls. But I’m not sure how to bring it up. I don’t want him to think that I’m desperate or something, trying to jump him just because he’s the only other boy that I’ve ever known who’s gay. The thing is, I really like him. And I want to kiss him. But I wanted to do that before I even knew that he likes boys. 

All this is going on in my head and I realize that I’ve been silent for a while. Riley’s still talking to me but I’ve zoned out and haven’t been listening. 

“Sorry,” I say, catching his eyes, his expression’s curious. I feel my cheeks heat. “I was miles away for a minute there.”

He looks at me for a moment, considering. And then he takes the initiative, broaching the subject that I’ve been desperate to bring up.

“So... how long have you known that you’re gay?”

Riley fixes me with his dark eyes and bites his lip nervously as his pale cheeks flush with color. The words are out there now and I don’t want him to regret them so I answer quickly. 

“I don’t know really... but a long time. As soon as I hit puberty I guess. All the other boys started going on and on about girls and I just didn’t get it. And then I had a crush on an older guy and it was pretty obvious then.” I don’t mention that the person I had a crush on was Sam. I’m over it now, thank fuck. But he was all I could think about a couple of summers ago. “How about you?”

“I was confused at first,” Riley admits. “It never really occurred to me that I wouldn’t like girls -- it’s just what people expect, you know?” I nod and roll my eyes in sympathy. “But I had a girlfriend for a while back when I was fifteen and it just felt wrong. And when I watched porn on my laptop I noticed that I was looking at the guys more than the girls... which was kind of a clue.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, I get that. Happened to me too.”

“So, have you ever had a boyfriend?” Riley asks me. 

I shake my head. “No.”

“A girlfriend?”

“Nope,” I’m embarrassed to own up to my total lack of experience. I’ve never even kissed anyone. But Riley’s eyes are kind without a hint of mockery. “With your girlfriend,” I ask, “did you... you know... do much with her?”

I frequently imagine what it would be like to kiss and touch another boy but I really can’t imagine doing anything with a girl. I’ve never wanted to.

“Not really,” he says. “We kissed, of course. And that was okay and there was a bit of groping but only over clothes. When I figured out that I wasn’t into it I broke it off pretty quickly.”

“And have you ever done anything with another guy?” I break our gaze and fiddle with the corner of my book, picking at the binding where it’s coming loose.

“No,” Riley replies. “I’ve never really had the opportunity before.”

There’s a pause. The _before_ makes hope and excitement surge in my chest and I risk a glance up at him. His eyes are fixed on me and I feel breathless.

We both jump as Riley’s phone buzzes in his pocket, breaking the tension between us. He pulls it out, checking the screen before he answers.

“Hi, Mom... yeah sure, no problem... okay, see you soon.”

He ends the call and smiles at me. “She was just asking me to get some milk from the store on the way home.” He pauses for a moment, then adds, “I should probably get going.”

My heart sinks. I want him to stay. I want to get the conversation back to where it was before we were interrupted -- but I don’t know what to say, so I just nod. “I guess so,” I say, lamely. 

Riley starts to pack his books away while I sit back and watch him, all twisted up with wanting more than this. I know I’m impatient, we’re only just getting to know each other but there’s something intense about our relationship even though it’s so new. There’s a connection between us that feels like something special and I hope that Riley feels it too.

“I’ve had fun today.” He looks up and flashes me a quick smile, pink lips parting over white teeth. His cheeks flush slightly. “Thanks, Seth... for inviting me over.”

“I’ve had fun too,” I smile back, my eyes dropping to his lips for a moment before I drag them back up to meet his eyes.

I see him out, and he turns and waves as he reaches the sidewalk. “See you on Monday,” he calls and I grin. I’m looking forward to it already.

 

**Chapter 3  
**  
It rains all day on Sunday. I hang out at home, catching up with the studying that I didn’t finish yesterday, and my thoughts keep straying to Riley.

In the evening, Mom’s out and Sam comes over to see Leah again. I watch a movie with them for a while. They’re snuggled up on the couch together and I envy their closeness. Leah looks so happy in Sam’s arms, her normally sharp features soften when she smiles at him. Sam’s good for her, she’s way nicer to be around since they got together.

I shower before bed and my hands linger on my dick when I’m washing. I feel myself harden and jerk off quickly, wanting to finish before the hot water runs out. My head is full of images of Riley’s pretty lips when I come.

On Monday morning I leap out of bed with uncharacteristic enthusiasm. I get to the bus stop before Riley and bounce on the balls of my feet, jittery and impatient. When I finally see him approaching I stuff my hands in my pockets, clenching my fists and trying to contain the impulse to grin like an idiot. I feel like an over-enthusiastic puppy; it’s a little embarrassing but I can’t really bring myself to care.

Riley looks pleased to see me too, and comes straight up to me. We fall into conversation right away and it’s easy, just like always. 

The week passes much the same as the one before. Although now, Riley and I text each other occasionally and get together after school again to study a couple of times.

After school on Wednesday, Riley asks me back to his place for the first time. We’re raiding his kitchen for snacks when his mom gets home. She’s laden down with grocery shopping. Riley jumps up to help her and I stand up too, smiling nervously.

“Thanks, honey,” she says gratefully to Riley as he takes the bags from her. Then she catches my eye and smiles.

“Mom, this is Seth,” Riley introduces me.

I step forward and offer her my hand.

“Hi Seth, I’m Kathy.” Her grip is warm and strong. “I’ve heard all about you, it’s great to meet you at last.”

“Good things, I hope.” I side-eye Riley and he’s blushing a little, but grinning too.

“Of course,” he rolls his eyes at me and I grin back.

We go together to get the rest of the groceries out of her car and then we help unpack them in the kitchen. I empty the bags while Riley helps Kathy put things away. I pull out a copy of the local paper and the headline catches my eye: _Community fears the worst for missing mother of two._  
 **  
** I scan the article briefly. Another person has gone missing, this time a woman from Forks. She worked in the local supermarket, and had left there after working a late shift on Sunday night. She never made it home. She was happily married with two young children and there seems to be no reason to believe that she would leave voluntarily. The police fear that she’s been abducted, but they have no leads.

I feel a cold chill of anxiety and the hair on the back of my neck prickles. I have an unsettling feeling that there is someone, or something out there -- taking people. I can’t believe that there’s no connection between this and the so-called animal attacks and missing hikers. 

“Seth?” Riley’s voice cuts through my unsettling train of thought and I raise my head to see him looking at me. “You ready to go and study?”

“Yeah, sure.” I put the newspaper down on the kitchen counter and push my gloomy thoughts away.

XOXOXOX

When I get home later, I find Leah slumped in front of the TV looking miserable.

“Hey, Sis. What’s up?” I take the seat beside her.

She sighs and frowns. “I was supposed to have a date with Sam tonight but he cancelled. He’s sick, he sounded really bad, so I’m kinda worried about him.”

“Did he say what’s wrong?” I ask.

“I don’t think he knows. He said he had a fever and was just feeling really weird. He was going to try and sleep it off. I really hope he’s better for Saturday – he won’t want to miss the beach party.”

La Push beach parties are a tradition in the warmer months. The first one of the season is planned for this Saturday. We make a fire, hang out, sometimes even camp out on the beach. Lots of the kids from Forks come out for them too. 

“That sucks,” I put my arm across her shoulders and give her a quick hug. “I hope he’s better by then.”

“Thanks,” she flashes me a quick smile.

XOXOXOX

But on Saturday, Sam’s still sick.

I walk down to the beach with Leah and she’s in a seriously shitty mood. I can’t blame her, I know she’s missing Sam and is worried about him too. She hasn’t even spoken with him for a couple of days. He hasn’t been answering his cell and when Leah stopped by his mother wouldn’t let her in -- saying he was too sick to see anyone. 

I feel sorry for Leah, but I wish she’d stayed at home. She’s terrible company tonight. I’m relieved when we pick up Riley and he falls into step beside me, talking animatedly, excited about the party. He’s a breath of fresh air after being stuck with Leah’s black mood all day.

When we reach the beach, the sun’s setting and the fire is already burning brightly. The smell of woodsmoke drifts across and fills my nostrils as we approach. There are thirty or forty kids there already. Leah drifts off looking for her friends and Riley and I go in search of the keg, then head over to sit on one of the logs around the fire pit.

All the usual people seem to be here. Quil and Embry grin and wave from the other side of the fire and I spy Bella there with Jake, looking pale and tense as always. Jake works so hard to cheer her up but I don’t think he’ll ever be enough for her. 

Leah joins us by the fire with Kim.

“Hi, Kim,” I greet her. “No Jared tonight?” They’re usually together but she’s alone and I realize I haven’t seen him in the crowd.

“Nope,” she shrugs. “He’s sick. I think he’s caught the thing that Sam’s come down with. Apparently Paul’s got it too, he’s not here tonight either.”

“Well, I hope you and Leah don’t get it,” I say. “It sounds like it must be pretty infectious.”

I notice Bella sitting alone on the other side of the fire now. Jake’s off getting drinks and has got caught up talking with some of the guys. 

I turn to Riley. “I’m just gonna go say hey to Bella,” I explain. “She looks like she could use some company. See you in a few.”

“Okay,” he grins. “I’ll stay here and cheer up these ladies while you work on Bella.”

Kim and Leah roll their eyes and I chuckle. “Good luck with that!”

I walk around and squeeze in beside Bella who’s sitting with her knees tucked up staring into the fire, lost in her thoughts.

“Hey, Bella,” I nudge her.

“Hi, Seth.” She turns and smiles weakly at me. 

Close up I’m shocked by her appearance. Bella’s always been tiny but she looks so thin now. Her cheekbones stand out in her pale face and her dark eyes are shadowed and huge. I feel a rush of pity for her.

“Holy shit, Bella,” my verbal filter is knocked out by the pain that’s etched on her face. “You look terrible. Is any guy really worth this?”

She shrugs. “I know, it’s crazy. There are plenty more fish in the sea, blah blah blah. But I can’t control this. Believe me, I wish I could switch it off.”

“When does Edward come home?”

She winces visibly at the sound of his name. “I don’t know,” she replies, her voice hollow. “He still hasn’t been in touch, but Alice says he hasn’t decided yet -- he might stay out there for the summer, too.”

I don’t know what to say to make her feel any better so I just put my arm around her. She leans in and puts her head on my shoulder.

“The worst part...” she mutters quietly, almost as if she’s talking to herself. “The thing that tortures me the most, is that I don’t understand why he finished it. I really thought he loved me too. It was such a sudden turn-around.”

I pull her tighter against me. “He’s an idiot,” I say, feeling helpless. 

“Thanks, Seth,” she sighs. 

Jake finally returns with drinks for Bella and him. He sits on the other side of Bella and I take my arm away from across her shoulders. She smiles her thanks to Jake as she takes the cup he’s holding out to her. 

My drink is empty now so I decide to leave Jake to it. I hate to see my friend wasting his time, but he’s in too deep already -- I can see it in his eyes when he looks at her. 

I get more beer and wander around for a while, checking out who’s there and talking with a few different groups of people. But I’m distracted from a conversation when I hear the sound of raised, angry voices from over by the fire. 

Jake’s on his feet squaring up to Mike Newton, a senior from school. I suddenly realize how big Jake’s got recently. He’s shot up and filled out and Mike’s looking intimidated. I move closer quickly, ready to intervene if necessary. It’s not like Jake to lose his cool. Bella’s standing off to the side, looking alarmed.

“Just back the fuck off, Newton.” Jake’s voice is cold and dangerous. “She’s told you she’s not interested, so quit sniffing around.”

“Whatever, Black. You’re a fucking hypocrite,” Mike flings back, looking angry but nervous, too. “You follow her around like a puppy -- not that it’s getting you anywhere.”

I see Jake tense and lunge and my quick reflexes get me there just in time. I grab Jake’s bare arm below the sleeve of his t-shirt and feel the rippling tension in his muscles under my hands as he pulls against me, snarling curses at Mike.

“Jake, just leave it, please!” Bella’s voice makes him turn and then Riley’s there too, holding Jake’s other arm. 

I address Mike now. “If I were you, Newton, I’d fuck off back home to Forks. If you make him any madder I don’t like my chances of keeping him off you.”

Mike sneers, but realizing that no one has stepped forward to support him, he shrugs. “Whatever. It’s a shitty party anyway.” He turns and swaggers away. 

I’m still holding on to Jake and I suddenly notice how hot his skin is to the touch. He’s slick with sweat and breathing rapidly, as though he’s been sprinting.

“Are you okay, Jake?” I frown, concerned. “You’re burning up.”

He shakes loose from my grip, scowling. “Yeah... I don’t know. I’ve been feeling a bit off today but that fucker really got to me. He’s such an asshole.”

“Seth’s right,” Riley chips in. “You feel really hot, like you have a fever.”

Jake puts a hand up and feels the sweat on his forehead, swiping it away with the back of his hand. “Yeah... I don’t feel right. Maybe I should go home too.”

“I’ll drive you,” Bella offers, looking worried. “I need to get back to Forks tonight anyway so I’ll drop you home.”

“Okay, thanks Bells.” Jake smiles at her, his face softening. “Sorry to have dragged you into this, guys,” he addresses Riley and me. “Thanks for stopping me from doing some serious damage to Newton.”

“Anytime, Dude.” I slap Jake on the back. “I’d hate to have to visit you in prison.”

Once they’ve gone and the drama’s over, Riley and I are back by the fire with our third round of drinks. I don’t usually drink alcohol but the older kids always manage to get a couple of illicit kegs for the beach parties and I enjoy the buzz once in a while. It’s making me feel relaxed and a little daring. I deliberately sit close to Riley, feeling his warmth pressed again my side as we poke at the fire with sticks. I love sitting by a fire, watching the ever-changing shapes and patterns in the glowing embers. I zone out for a while, letting my thoughts drift along with the smoke from the fire.

Riley shifts beside me and pokes the fire again as he speaks.

“You wanna go walk down the beach for a bit?”

I turn but he doesn’t meet my eye. “Sure,” I reply, excited and a little nervous at the prospect of being alone with him for a while.

He turns to face me and gives me a small, shy smile that makes my heart twist. “Come on then.” He stands and chucks his stick onto the fire in a crackle of sparks. I jump up too and we step away from the warm glow of the fire into the darkness. I don’t think anyone particularly notices us leaving, but I don’t really care if they do. 

There’s a chill in the air away from the fire and Riley zips up his hoodie and hunches his shoulders, putting his hands in his pockets as we move slowly further away from the party towards the water’s edge. We walk in silence, our feet scrunching in the sand. When we reach the water Riley kicks off his shoes, rolls up the legs of his jeans and steps into the shallows. It’s a clear night and the moon is almost full, casting a blue-white path on the water.

“I love the beach at night,” he says as he stands looking out at the dark horizon. The water surges over his feet, foaming and glowing with slight phosphorescence. 

I kick off my shoes and join him, feeling the shock of the cold as the water hits my skin. The ocean’s never very warm this far north, even later in summer, and at this time of year it’s still cold enough to make your bones ache until you go numb.

Riley turns to me, I can just make out the curve of his mouth and the glint of his teeth as he grins at me in the faint light of the moon. 

“D’you wanna swim?” He makes it sound like a dare. 

“It’s cold,” I say, stating the obvious.

“It’s awesome,” he insists. “I’m going in.”

He walks out of the water and starts to strip, dropping his clothes onto the sand beside his shoes. I watch as his pale skin is revealed, like marble in the moonlight. My mouth goes dry as his jeans are cast aside. For a moment I think he’s going to take his underwear off too, but he leaves his briefs on. They’re a dark color, impossible to tell exactly what in the dim light. They cling snugly to his slim hips and I swallow, unable to tear my eyes away from him.

“You coming?” He stands, facing me. All long slender limbs and wide smile.

“If I freeze to death, I’m holding you responsible.” I move beside him and strip down to my underwear too. 

“Let’s go!” Riley sets off at a run into the water and I follow, steeling myself.

He plunges in with no hesitation and I see his body disappear below the surface just before I dive too. The cold hits me like a blow. I put my feet down and push up to stand waist deep, gasping for breath as all my muscles tense in protest. Riley emerges beside me, gasping too, but with a huge grin on his face. 

“Fuck,” he says breathlessly. 

“Yeah,” I laugh aloud, exhilarated as my body tingles, starting to adjust to the temperature. 

We dive back in, swimming out a little way from the shore and then turn to look back at the beach. I can still see the glow of the fire but the only sounds are the lap of the water and the gasps of our breathing as we tread water. Our legs brush underwater and then Riley takes my hand. My heart almost stops as he laces our fingers together deliberately and squeezes. I look at him and his eyes are fixed on mine, his face intent and determined. 

“Come on,” he gestures with his head towards the shore and releases my hand, striking out towards the beach. 

We swim back quickly, and I feel a rush of anticipation flooding through me. As soon as we reach the shallows we stand, waist deep, facing each other, our chests heaving as the salt water streams off us. We step in close together and Riley’s hands touch my hips as mine find their way to his shoulders, and then his lips are parting under mine and our chests brush, cold skin on cold skin. His mouth is the only warm part of him and he tastes like the sea as I dip my tongue inside to find his. 

We kiss, softly at first, and then with more urgency as our hands start to roam and explore. We pull each other closer, harder, wanting more. But then I notice that his teeth are starting to chatter and I pull back gently, resting my forehead against his as I murmur. “You’re freezing, we should get out and dressed.”

“I don’t want to stop kissing you,” he whines, bringing his hand up to cup my jaw and pressing his lips to mine again.

“We can do lots more kissing once we’ve got our clothes back on.”

He laughs. “Isn’t that the wrong way around?”

The suggestion in his voice sends a pulse of blood to my groin despite the ball-freezing cold water. 

I take his hand and lead him back onto the beach. 

Getting dry enough to get our clothes back on without any towels is a challenge. We peel off our soaking underwear and wring them out, using them to wipe as much of the water as we can off our skin. It’s too dark to see details but I can’t resist peeking at his groin and notice that he has a semi like me. I’m glad that he’s as affected by the kissing as I am.

We use our hoodies as towels, leaving them slightly damp but still wearable, and wriggle back into our jeans and t-shirts. Once we’re dressed I feel awkward and unsure. The mood has been broken a little.

“Do you wanna go back to the fire to warm up?” I ask him.

“Not yet,” Riley says. “I want you all to myself for a little longer.”

I don’t know where he got his courage from tonight but I’m glad he’s found it. I’m happy for him to take control here.

He steps close to me again and pulls me into his arms. I miss the feel of his bare skin under my hands but the heat that builds quickly between us makes up for it. My dick fills and I feel him hard against me as he pulls my hips close and rubs against me, making me moan. I’m all twisted up with want and need -- breathless, desperate for more. 

“Oh, God, Riley,” I murmur as he breaks away from my lips and I feel his tongue on my throat and his teeth scrape my skin. 

“I’ve wanted to do this since the first time I saw you,” he whispers against my cheek, his voice soft in my ear. 

“Me too,” I gasp a laugh as his tongue flickers on my earlobe. “I’m glad we haven’t wasted too much time.”

And then we’re kissing again, focused on the push-pull of wet lips and the slide of tongues until we hear the sounds of footsteps approaching and high-pitched giggling. 

We pull apart and separate, looking to see who’s coming. It’s just a couple of girls from the Res, obviously a little drunk. They don’t pay us any attention. I don’t think they’ve even seen us. They sit down in the sand twenty yards or so down the beach and light up cigarettes, still talking and laughing.

“I guess we should go back now,” Riley says reluctantly. “I mean... I assume you’d rather people didn’t know about us?”

I love the word ‘us,’ and I smile. But he’s right that I’m not ready to deal with people’s reactions yet. “If that’s okay? I’d rather keep it to ourselves for now.”

“Sure,” he nods. Then sits down in the sand to pull his shoes back on and I do the same.

We hold hands as we walk back up the beach, not wanting to lose our connection but when we get close to the light cast by the fire we each let go and move apart slightly. 

For the rest of the night Riley and I stick close to each other. We warm up by the fire and drink a little more. Our elbows brush as we cook marshmallows and I find myself watching his hands as he turns the stick carefully, trying to brown the marshmallow evenly. I remember the feeling of his hands on my sea-cold skin and wonder how different it will feel next time he touches me. I shiver at the thought, but not with cold. I hope it’ll happen soon.

“Seth!” His voice makes me jump and I realize too late that my marshmallow is on fire, a casualty of my lack of attention.

“Fuck,” I grumble.

“You can share mine.” 

His look is unmistakably flirtatious as he sucks half of the melted goo off his stick and moves it towards my lips, offering it to me. I glance around to see if anyone is paying attention, but then I decide I don’t really care that much. I part my lips and use my teeth to pull what’s left into my mouth, grinning at Riley as I swallow it. His eyes are hot and hungry and knowing that I’m inspiring that look makes me feel powerful, and ridiculously horny. 

Later on he starts to yawn, so I suggest that we head back. Some of the kids are sleeping on the beach, bodies in sleeping bags already huddled around the fire, but I want my bed. Apart from anything else I have a near permanent boner now after the kissing and the flirting and I want to take care of it before I sleep.

Leah left before us, so Riley and I walk back alone together, holding hands again once we’re out of sight of everyone. We don’t talk much. We’re both tired and I’m feeling kind of overwhelmed right now, but seriously fucking happy. 

I walk him to his house and he pushes me up against the front door and kisses me thoroughly. Riley might be slighter than me, but he’s kinda forceful when he gets going and I’m finding out that I like this. He makes me hard again, grinding into me. He brings a hand down and presses it against my erection, and I gasp.

“I wish I could help you with this,” he whispers, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Me too,” I feel my face flush at the thought of it. 

“I don’t want to risk waking my Mom, but can you come over tomorrow -- to study?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Yeah,” I grin back. “What time?”

“Whenever,” he brushes his lips over mine, softly now. “Just text me in the morning.”

“Okay,” I kiss him again, our lips parting for a last taste of each other before I pull away and he lets himself in.

“See you tomorrow,” he smiles as he closes the door.   
**  
**  
**Chapter 4  
**  
Riley’s text wakes me up in the morning. 

_U awake yet?_

__I rub my eyes, grinning and text back: _I am now._  
 _  
Wanna come over?_ I love how eager he sounds. There’s none of that morning-after awkwardness, with me wondering if he’ll be thinking that he made a mistake last night. _  
_  
 _Yeah, give me an hour or so_ , I reply. Then I throw my covers off and head for the shower. _  
_

XOXOXOX

I make it over there in forty minutes flat. I don’t see the point in waiting, I’m pretty sure he won’t mind me being early. 

Riley’s mom lets me in.

“Hi, Seth,” she smiles warmly. “Riley’s just finishing up in the bathroom. You can go to his room to wait for him if you want. I’m heading into Forks for a while.”

“Okay, thanks.” 

I make my way down the hallway to his room and sit on his bed to wait for him. I’m buzzing with nervous anticipation. I can’t wait to see him, but I’m anxious too. Everything’s different between us now.

I get a book out of my bag and try to read, but I can’t concentrate. I hear the sound of someone approaching and my heart flips in my chest as the door’s pushed open. My mouth goes dry as I take in the sight of Riley, naked apart from a towel wrapped tightly around his slim hips. His hair’s still wet and spiky from the shower.

“Oh, hi, Seth!” Riley looks surprised. “I didn’t know you were here yet.” His cheeks go a little pink and I realize that I’m staring at him, my mouth is even hanging open a little. Now it’s my turn to blush when I realize how goofy I must look.

“Sorry,” I drag my eyes up to his face and grin apologetically. They’d got caught somewhere around the faint line of hair on his belly, leading down into the towel. “I was early.” 

“That’s okay,” he smiles back. 

He heads over to his chest of drawers and pulls out some clothes. He drops his towel and steps quickly into his underwear and I try not to watch as he pulls them up his legs. I remember the glimpse of his half-hard cock in the near-darkness last night and feel a tingle of arousal. 

Once Riley’s dressed in some jeans and a white t-shirt that hugs his slim torso, he comes over and sits on the bed beside me. He has a single bed, like me, and I’m sitting sideways near the foot of it. He sits cross-legged, his back to the headboard and bites his lip nervously before smiling at me again. 

Just like last night, Riley’s the brave one, taking the initiative. He shuffles closer and puts his hand on my forearm. It feels cool and his touch is light. I’m still gripping my book tightly and he slides his hand down, uncurling my fingers until I release my hold on the book and am holding his hand instead. He tugs gently and I turn to face him, folding my legs up to mirror his posture. 

We face each other and I just look at him for a moment. His face is beautiful to me. Full lips, dark eyes, high cheekbones. He’s looking back at me just as intently. I hope that he likes what he sees too. 

This time it’s me who leans in to kiss him and he smiles as I move, leaning forward to meet me. His mouth feels surprisingly soft against mine and I explore the shape of it with the tip of my tongue as he sighs and parts his lips. The kiss deepens and our hands slide into hair and around the backs of each other’s necks. 

But our knees are in the way and we can’t get any closer, and I want more. I need to feel him against me. Made bold by my desire, I untwist my legs and kneel, without breaking the kiss, and push him backwards onto his pillows. He chuckles in surprise as he falls back, but his hands slide around me, pulling me with him eagerly. His legs fall apart and my body finds the space between them, a perfect fit that feels so right. 

Kissing him feels amazing, I want to go on forever but my dick is hard and aching in my jeans now, trapped uncomfortably and I have to pull away to adjust it. 

“Sorry... I just...” I mutter, embarrassed as I stick my hand between us, into my pants to rearrange myself. 

He laughs, his face beautifully flushed and his lips wet. “That’s okay,” and he reaches down to do the same. 

We kiss again, and now that my cock’s in a more comfortable position I find myself unable to resist the urge to move against him. Riley obviously likes it because his hands grip my hips and encourage me as he pushes up against me. I can feel the hardness of his dick against mine and it feels fucking awesome. But with his hands on me and his tongue in my mouth, I know that I’m going to come in my underwear if we don’t stop soon. 

But I don’t want to stop.

I drag my mouth away from Riley’s lips and kiss his neck. He smells clean and soapy with just a hint of his own scent that the shower could never wash away. I graze my teeth on his skin where neck meets shoulder and hitch my hips again. It’s no good. I have to stop moving or I’m going to explode.

“Fuck... Riley,” I mutter. “I don’t wanna come in my pants.” 

“Me neither,” Riley chuckles and he stops grinding against me as I lie still for a moment. Then he murmurs in my ear. “I really wanna make you come though. Would you let me?”

_Oh my God._ “Yeah,” I gasp against his neck. I want it so much. _  
_  
“Lie on your back.” He wriggles out from under me, scooching over and rolling on his side to make room so that I can lie beside him on his narrow bed.

I feel nervous and I bite my lip as I wait for him to do something. My cock is straining inside my jeans, the bulge clearly visible and Riley’s eyes fix on it for a moment before he looks up and leans in to kiss me again. His hand is on my belly and he pulls my t-shirt up, then slides his hand up underneath, stroking my abs and chest. He grazes my nipples with his fingertips and my breath hitches. 

“Can I take this off?” Riley pushes my t-shirt up further. I sit up and help him pull it over my head. When I lie back he stays leaning up on one elbow, looking at me carefully, running his free hand over my body admiringly. “You’re so fucking hot,” he says. 

I squirm, not good at taking compliments. But I guess my body looks okay. I’ve filled out a lot recently. “Thanks,” I mutter. Then I tug on his t-shirt too. “Can you take yours off too?”

He wriggles out of his shirt and lies back down beside me. His fingers tease my nipples again as I put an arm around him and stroke the smooth skin of his back. “I’m scrawny compared to you.” He wrinkles his nose. “I swear you’ve gotten bigger just since I’ve known you.”

“You’re beautiful,” I frown at him. “I think you’re amazing.” And it’s true.

I pull him on top of me and we’re kissing again, hot and breathless and the grinding resumes. But then Riley rolls off me and I feel his hands on my fly. I moan into his mouth as he pops the button and pulls my zipper down. His hands sneak into my pants and curl around me through the fabric of my underwear, stroking tentatively. The head of my cock is wet and sticking to the material. He explores the shape of me, never breaking the kiss and I moan, my dick twitching up into his hand. 

He pulls away and kneels up, grabbing the waist band of my pants and briefs. “Is this okay?” He looks at me for reassurance. 

I don’t think I’m capable of speech so I just nod.   
_  
Fuck, yes. It’s more than okay._

__I lift my hips to help as he tugs my clothing down around my thighs, and the hungry expression on his face when he looks down at my cock for the first time makes my toes curl. I feel exposed, vulnerable, but I’m too turned on to care. As he settles back down beside me again I pull him toward me and kiss him, running my hands over his chest and shoulders as his warm hand wraps around my dick.

It’s a little awkward as he struggles to find a rhythm. I’m distracting him with kisses and by the huff of his breath and the urgency of his lips on mine I know that he’s feeling pretty desperate too. I want to open his pants and touch him as well, but I don’t think I could handle multi-tasking right now. So I let him get on with it, feeling the heat surging and tingling in my groin as I get close.

I’m lost in sensation. The warmth of Riley’s body against mine, the sweet, musky scent of his skin, his hand gripping and sliding on my cock, the huff of his breath on my cheek and the hot slide of his tongue in my mouth. 

It’s all too much, and exactly what I need.

I pull away from his lips, arching up and pressing my face into his shoulder as I groan and come. He keeps moving his hand as I shudder and twitch and then fall back onto the pillows, panting and grinning like an idiot. 

He looks down at me and smiles as he traces his finger through the mess on my belly. His breathing is fast too and his face is flushed. “Wow!” He says.

“Mmm,” I agree. 

The movement of his other hand catches my eye and I see that he’s rubbing himself through his jeans. 

“Let me,” I say, reaching down to work on his button.

He helps me, releasing his cock with trembling fingers. “ _Oh Fuck_ ,” he hisses as I take him in my hand and stroke. “This won’t take long,” he warns me. 

“I’d be a little offended if it did,” I grin as I grip and slide, smearing the slickness at the tip over the head of his cock with my thumb. 

His body curls into me and his hand clutches at my hip as he moans and comes after only a few strokes. His cock jerks and spills into the curl of my fist. I try to catch as much as I can in my hand and then carry on stroking him, feeling the slickness of his release smoothing my movements while he continues to buck into my hand. 

When he stills I pull my hand away and he rolls to lie on his back beside me. The only sound in the room is our breathing as it gradually slows and steadies. And then, out of nowhere, Riley starts laughing. It’s infectious and I join him, even though I’m not sure what’s amusing. 

When we calm down, he turns and kisses me lightly and then scrambles over me to grab a box of tissues from under his bed. 

I quirk an eyebrow at their location.

“What?” He shrugs and grins. “I’m practical like that.”

We clean up as much as we can, although our jizz is already drying and getting sticky. There are a few spots on his duvet cover which the tissues do nothing for. 

“Laundry day?” I wrinkle my nose. 

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I would just turn it over but I think there might be a similar issue with the other side already.”

I laugh aloud again. “Horndog,” I tease him. 

He shrugs and smirks. “Yeah, well, it’s all your fault.”

Once we’ve got our clothes back on, we sit back on his bed, side by side, and start to half-heartedly pull out some homework. We work on math problems for a while but somehow we end up getting distracted and start kissing each other again. 

We push our books aside and lie back down together, enjoying the chance to kiss and touch in a more leisurely way now that we’ve both gotten off and aren’t quite so desperate. 

We get hard again, of course, but when I start squeezing Riley’s cock through his jeans he stops me. 

“My mom’ll be home soon,” he says reluctantly. “And knowing her, she’ll just barge in.”

“Does she know that you’re gay?” I ask, curious. 

“Yeah,” he replies. “I told her a few months ago. But I guess now I should tell her about you.” He smiles.

I grin back, happy that he thinks I’m important enough to mention. “Tell her what about me?” I tease, wanting him to clarify.

“I don’t know,” he flushes a little. “Maybe tell her that you’re my boyfriend... if you want to be?” His eyes are hopeful.

“Of course,” I feel a huge smile spread across my face. “That sounds good to me. And I guess I should tell my mom, too.”

“Awesome,” he kisses me again and we get lost in each other for a while.

XOXOXOX

It’s weird on Monday morning when I meet Riley in the line for the bus. We both told our moms about our relationship yesterday. As expected, neither was particularly surprised, and both of them were happy for us. But by mutual agreement we’ve decided not to be open about it at school for now. We figure there’s plenty of time for that if things work out and it gets serious between us. 

So when I see him on Monday, my heart jumps in my chest and I have to stop a ridiculously huge-assed grin from filling my face when he approaches with a smile and a “hey.”

I’m shocked by how badly I want to kiss him.

We stand by Quil and Embry as usual, and listen in as they talk about the party on Saturday night. 

“...I really thought Jake was going to land one on Newton,” Embry’s saying. 

“Newton’s such a dick,” Quil comments. “But I’ve never seen Jake get so mad before, he’s usually pretty chill.”

I suddenly remember that Jake wasn’t feeling well on Saturday night, and look around to see whether he’s in line for the bus but there’s no sign of him. He must be sick. I notice that Kim is with Leah but there’s no sign of Jared either. Both girls look equally pissed.

I get that strange, unsettling feeling again that something’s not quite right. But I can’t work out what. I frown and turn back to the others and catch Riley looking at me questioningly. I shake off the moment of weirdness and give him a small smile, trying to reassure him. By the time the bus arrives the feeling has passed.

After school I ask Riley back to my place and he agrees eagerly. It’s been really difficult being together all day at school and having to hide our relationship. I can’t wait to be alone with him again. 

Leah walks back with us after the bus drops us off. She walks in silence, her head down. As soon as we get home she disappears into her room, slamming the door hard behind her. 

My mom’s in the kitchen so Riley and I go through to say hi to her and grab some drinks and cookies to take to my room. Mom smiles at us as we hurry back out. “See you later, boys.”

I close my bedroom door behind me but I don’t lock it. I haven’t had a conversation with Mom about house rules yet since I told her that Riley’s more than just a friend, and I don’t want to push my luck. I’m hoping she’s not going to insist on an open-door policy like some parents do. 

As soon as the door closes we face each other and step close, letting our bags slip off our shoulders and dropping them on the floor. Riley grabs me by my belt loops and tugs, and I fist my hands into his t-shirt, pulling him towards me. 

I’ve been waiting all day for this kiss and it’s such a fucking relief to finally have my lips on Riley’s and feel his body under my hands, his hands in my hair. We reconnect, re-claiming each other after a day of being together, but not _together_.

When the kiss starts to get heated we pull apart, breathless and grinning. 

“Fuck, I missed you.” Riley says.

And I know exactly what he means even though we’ve spent half the day in each other’s company.

We settle down on my bed, side by side with our books out and we study while we talk and pause to kiss now and again -- nothing too heavy. We’re both very aware of my mom and sister in the house.

When it’s time for Riley to go home, we stretch out on my bed and kiss for a long time, rolling around together and rubbing up against each other until we’re hard and horny. 

“I’m gonna make good use of my secret stash of tissues later,” Riley smirks, his lips pink and shiny from my kisses. “Just so you know.”

I pin him down and kiss him again. The idea of him jerking off later, thinking about me, is so fucking hot. 

We finally make it out of my room, a little rumpled but presentable. 

In the kitchen, my mom has the TV on and has paused mid-dinner preparation, staring at the screen, her face concerned. She’s watching the local news and I turn to look at the screen but then the report finishes and it cuts to the ads.

“What’s up?” I ask her.

She shakes her head, and I see real fear in her eyes for a moment before she turns her attention back to the beef that she’s chopping. Her fingers are red with the juices and the kitchen is filled with the smell of raw meat. 

“Another missing person,” she says, her voice carefully calm. “His car was found parked up by the road. He’d broken down and called for help, but when the rescue truck got there he was gone. No trace.”

I catch Riley’s eye and I’m filled with that cold sense of foreboding again. The iron tang of the bloody meat is suddenly overpoweringly strong and I feel a wave of nausea. I tamp it down and jerk my head towards the kitchen door and Riley nods imperceptibly.

“Bye, Sue,” he says. “I need to get going. Thanks for letting me come over.”

“That’s fine, dear,” she says. “Not that I saw much of you.” She smiles, a little more knowingly that I’m comfortable with.

I see Riley to the door and kiss him good bye again before he leaves. Just a chaste brush of lips as I pull him into a hug. 

“You okay?” he frowns, concerned.

“It’s just freaking me out a little, all this stuff in the news.”

He nods. “Yeah, it’s kinda creepy. I might steer clear of hiking in the forest for a while.”

I manage a half-smile, still jittery and unsettled. “You do that.”

“See you tomorrow,” he turns and waves before he walks away. I watch him go with a smile on my face.

XOXOXOX

Tuesday passes in much the same way as the day before. School is school, but the day goes by quickly. Riley comes around to my place again in the afternoon.

Leah’s in an even worse mood than yesterday and mutters something about us being ‘joined at the fucking hip’ before stalking off to her room. The whole house rattles with the force of her door slamming. 

I roll my eyes at Riley. “Don’t mind her,” I say.

In my room we study a little, and then we kiss a lot. 

I wish that we could do more. I want to touch his cock again and make him come, and have him do the same to me. But I don’t think I’m ready to do that unless we’re alone in the house. 

“My mom works late tomorrow,” Riley says as he lies with his head on my chest while we take a break from making out. “Will you come over to my place?”

“Hell yes,” I tighten my arms around him. “Try and keep me away. Not only do I get some alone time, we also won’t have to put up with Leah being a bitch. It’s win-win.”

**Chapter 5  
**  
“So, is Jake still sick?” Riley asks as we ride home on the bus on Wednesday. **  
**  
“Yeah, looks like it. I didn’t see him today,” I shrug.

“What is it that they’ve all had anyway? It must be pretty bad. Your sister’s boyfriend’s been sick for days now, hasn’t he?”

“I don’t know,” I shake my head and frown. “Mom heard on the Res grapevine that it’s some flu-type thing, or maybe even mono. But Sam did finally call Leah last night, so he must be feeling better at last. He said he’d come over to see her today.”

Our conversation’s interrupted by Quil sticking his head over the seat in front of us.

“You guys wanna come and hang out on the beach after school? We were gonna head down there and chill for a while.”

I deliberately don’t look at Riley before replying. “Sorry, man, but we have a science project we need to work on.”

Quil narrows his eyes for a second. “You guys are always fucking studying. Are you going for the geek of the year award or something?” His tone is teasing but I feel uncomfortable about the look that he gives us.

“Yeah well, some of us care about graduating douche-brain,” I smirk at Quil. He flips me the finger as he turns and wriggles back down into his seat.

I catch Riley’s eye and he looks relieved. “That was close,” he mutters.

 

We walk straight to Riley’s house from the bus.

“So is your mom definitely gonna be out?” I ask hopefully.

“Yep,” he grins and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “She won’t be back for at least two hours.”

“Cool,” I feel a nervous thrill at the thought of all that uninterrupted time together. 

Since Sunday, all I’ve been able to think about is getting into Riley’s pants again. All the kissing and groping of the last two days feels like super-extended foreplay. The promise of what lies ahead this afternoon is already making me hard. I wonder what he’ll want to do, how far he’ll want to go. I’m terrified, but also kind of up for anything.

He lets us in and we linger awkwardly in the hallway for a moment. 

“Are you hungry... or thirsty or anything?” Riley asks me. I shake my head and he smiles. “Come along then.”

I follow him to his room and he closes and locks the door behind us. “Just in case,” he grins. “But she really won’t be home for hours.”

He takes the lead again, stepping in to kiss me as soon as we put our bags down. He pulls me towards the bed, his hands on my ass, walking backwards until his legs hit the frame. He pushes my jacket off my shoulders and I feel it hit the floor behind me. I grab his and help him pull it off to join mine on the floor. 

“Can I take this off?” I tug on his t-shirt hopefully. 

“Sure,” he chuckles. “As long as yours comes off too.”

We strip them off and kiss some more, still standing up. I love the feel of his bare skin on mine, it’s so warm and smooth. His lips leave my mouth and he dips his head to pepper my neck with kisses and licks. It tickles, but in a good way and I hum to show him that I like it. He grabs me then and turns us around, pushing me back onto the bed and crawling over me, his eyes dark with intent.

He lowers his head and kisses my chest and I gasp as he flickers his tongue over a nipple. My hands are on his shoulders, stroking, feeling his muscles shifting under his skin as he moves over my body. He slips further down the bed, lying between my thighs as he kisses my stomach, dipping his tongue in my navel and making me squirm.

“Ticklish?” He raises his head to smirk.

“A little,” I grin back, breathlessly. 

He keeps his head up, staring at me for a moment, his expression intense as his fingers skate teasingly over the skin of my belly. I shiver as they move to my belt. He raises his eyebrows questioningly, as if asking for my permission, and I nod.

His fingers make quick work of the buckle and button and then he slides my zipper down. His fingers graze my dick as he pulls my pants open and eases them down over my hips. I lift up to help him, expecting him to shove them down around my thighs like last time. But he peels them all the way off, untangling them from my feet along with my socks and shoes and chucking all of it aside so it hits the floor with a clink-thud of belt and fabric.

He lowers himself back between my legs and kisses the skin just above the waistband of my boxer briefs. I feel his warm breath lift the hairs on my belly and my cock strains in my underwear, desperate to be touched. He touches me with his hand, stroking me firmly through the thin material.

“Can I take these off?” He looks up at me again. 

“I guess,” I say. “But can you take yours off too? I don’t wanna be the only naked person around here.”

“Deal,” he grins and kneels up. I help him unfasten his pants and he jumps off the bed to strip them off and kick them aside. Then he shucks off his boxers with no hesitation and I watch as his cock springs free, hard and swaying slightly as he moves. 

Then he’s beside me again, and his hands are sliding my underwear down impatiently. And then Riley’s lying on the bed beside me, pulling me into his arms and we’re both gloriously, wonderfully naked. Warm skin brushes warm skin as we kiss and touch everything we can reach. Our mouths find each other’s lips, earlobes, necks and shoulders. Our legs tangle, cocks brush together, hands stroke and clutch and grab.

Riley rolls me onto my back again and moves down my body, following the path that he took earlier. When he reaches my belly button my fingers tangle in the short, soft spikes of his hair and my heart feels like it’s about to beat right out of my chest as he moves lower still and kisses either side of where my cock lies hard and aching, his lips tickling the hair at my groin. I make an incoherent whimpering sound and he looks up at me again, his chin almost grazing my dick.

“Can I?” He asks me.

“Fuck... yes, _please_.” I gasp.

He smiles as he lowers his head and licks.

He tortures me with soft, wet swipes of his tongue. Then he uses his lips instead, working up my shaft with gentle sucks and kisses. My fingers tug at his hair so I pull them away and grip the sheets instead, afraid that I’m going to hurt him. 

Every muscle in my body feels tight as I fight the overwhelming urge to come already, while he’s still only licking at me. 

“Oh, _fuck_... that feels incredible.”

My breathing is harsh and ragged and he must realize how desperate I am because he lifts my cock away from my belly with a careful hand and finally takes me into his mouth.

He sucks tentatively and I look down, needing to see his lips around my cock. His eyes flick up to me and I want to tell him again how amazing it feels, but all I can manage is a needy moan. He obviously gets it, because he smiles around my cock and then begins to suck in earnest. He takes me deeper, slowly, carefully; as though he’s experimenting to see how much he can handle. I’m a willing subject. 

He gags a little and pulls back up, leaving a wet sheen of spit on my shaft. He licks around the head for a moment as he recovers, and then takes me deep again -- not quite so far this time, using his hand to stroke the part he can’t get into his mouth. 

“Oh, God... Riley,” my voice is hoarse and unfamiliar in my throat. “So fucking good.”

Once he finds a rhythm and starts bobbing his head up and down over my cock, I know that I won’t last long as I start to spiral into that place where I lose myself. 

“I’m really close now,” I warn him.

He carries on sucking, humming around my dick and grinding his own hips into the bed rhythmically as I feel the tension build and build. My body arches up off the bed as I gasp and come -- so fucking hard -- his hand still jacking me off as I pulse into his mouth. I hear him moan around me as I twitch again and again, spasms wracking my body until finally I collapse back, my muscles relaxing at last. Riley pulls off and swallows, wrinkling his nose just a little.

“Does it taste gross?” I run my thumb over his lower lip, slick with spit and my cum. 

“Well, it’s not the nicest thing ever,” he admits. “But it’s okay... and having you cum in my mouth was really fucking hot.”

“Yeah,” I agree. “It was pretty amazing from where I was too.”

He laughs. “Well that’s good to know.”

“I’m sorry I came so quickly,” I feel self-conscious for a moment. “It just felt so awesome.”

“There’s really no need to apologize for that,” he looks almost guilty and his face flushes. “I came too,” he admits. “And you didn’t even touch me.”

“Really?” 

“Uh huh,” he nods. “Look.”

I prop myself up on my elbows and he pushes his body up to show me the wet patch on his duvet cover between my ankles. His cock, softening now, hangs away from his body.

“Wow,” I say.

“I’m sorry.” He looks embarrassed.

“No, no,” I grab him and pull him up so I can kiss him and reassure him. “That’s so beyond hot that you came while you were sucking me. Seriously.”

He smiles and kisses me back. 

We lie, curled up together for a while enjoying kisses and gentle touches. 

“I want to do that to you, too,” I whisper against his lips. 

“Suck me?” he murmurs back between kisses.

“Yeah,” I suck on his lower lip.

“Oh God, I want that too.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. “But you’ll have lots more chances. My mom’ll be home soon.”

XOXOXOX

When I get back to my place later I’m nearly bowled over by Sam coming out of the door. His face is set in a grim mask and I immediately know that something’s terribly wrong. 

“Sam... what’s going on?” I grab his arm, trying to stop him as he tears past me.

He’s quivering with tension and his eyes are wild, almost unrecognizable.

“Sorry, Seth,” he shakes me off effortlessly. “I have to leave now, talk to Leah... look after her.” He takes off at a run towards the trees behind our house. “I’m sorry,” he calls back over his shoulder as he goes.

I enter the house, bracing myself for drama. I have no idea what the fuck is going on but this doesn’t look good. 

I follow the sound of sobbing to find my sister curled up in a ball on the couch. Her face is buried in her hands, long hair tangled and obscuring her face. She’s hunched into herself, rocking as her breath comes in tearing sobs that sound as though they’re ripping her apart. 

_What the fuck?  
_  
“Leah,” I move towards her warily, half-expecting her to lash out at me, but there’s no response at all.

I have no idea what to say, how to handle this. I wish Mom were home, she’d know what to do. So I do the only thing I can think of and I sit beside Leah and hold her. She doesn’t hold me back. She’s clinging to her knees, curled tightly into herself. It’s as if she’s afraid she’ll fall apart if she releases her grip. 

But she lets me hold her. And gradually, imperceptibly, I feel her body soften against me as her sobbing settles and eases into occasional shuddering breaths.

Finally she lifts her head off her knees and squints at me through puffy, tear-wet eyes. She sniffs and wipes her nose on her sleeve.

“What happened?” I ask her. 

“Sam’s finished with me.” Her voice is flat, devoid of any emotion, as though it’s all been drained out of her and left her empty. “He said he’s sorry, but he’s met someone else and this is it for him.”

“Who?” I ask in disbelief. Leah and Sam always seemed so good together. I can’t believe the sudden turnaround.

“Emily,” there’s bitterness in her voice now, along with anger.

“Emily, as in our cousin Emily?” I can’t think of anyone else with that name. She’s a distant relative. She doesn’t live on the Res but comes to visit with other family here occasionally. I didn’t know Sam had ever even met her.

“Yes.” Leah sniffs again. “She was here for a few days, I don’t know how it even happened. I mean he’s barely spoken her, it makes no sense. He only met her this morning. He said that he couldn’t explain it... he told me there was more to it but that he couldn’t tell me what.” She looks at me now, her expression full of anger and pain. “I don’t fucking get it, Seth. What the hell is so special about her?”

I shake my head, finding it hard to take all of this in. “But does Emily like him too?”

“I don’t know... I think so,” Leah shrugs. “The way he was talking about it it’s like they’re gonna be together forever now. Fucking soul-mates or some shit like that. It’s like I never meant anything to him at all.” Her voice breaks and she’s sobbing again, her hands clenching into fists as she lets me pull her into my arms this time. 

She cries and cries and I just let her get it out, feeling utterly helpless. By the time Mom comes home and takes over from me, my t-shirt is soaked with tears and snot. I want to kill Sam for doing this to my sister.

XOXOXOX

Leah doesn’t go to school the next day. I don’t think she slept much last night. Mom was up with her for hours. Leah’s still in bed when I get up in the morning and Mom’s in the kitchen drinking coffee with dark circles under her eyes and a grim expression on her face.

“Is she okay?” I ask.

“Not really,” my mom shakes her head. “But she’ll live. She’s young... she’ll get over it. But right now it feels like the end of the world to her.” She smiles sadly. “But we know all about grief and loss in this family. Leah’s strong, she’ll get through it. I just wish I knew what the hell that boy was thinking.”

“Yeah,” I feel a renewed rush of anger when I think about Sam. “Me too.”

When I meet Riley at the bus stop he knows from my face right away that something’s badly wrong.

“What’s up?” he frowns.

“I’ll tell you on the bus,” I reply. “I’m fine... it’s Leah. But it’s a long story.”

“Okay,” he nods and smiles tentatively at me and my heart flips just looking at him. I could really use a hug right now, but unfortunately it’s not an option unless we want to be the source of gossip for the rest of the semester.

I look around and notice that Jared’s there today. He has his arm around Kim, who’s looking blissfully happy. I think of my sister and the state she was in last night, and I'm shot through with anger and sadness. Paul’s back too and he and Jared are talking quietly, their faces intent. They don’t usually hang out together, so I’m surprised to see them deep in conversation. 

“I saw them down on the beach with Sam after school yesterday,” Quil notices me watching them. “They were hanging out, cliff diving... being a little crazy.”

“Really?” I’m surprised. Sam’s a couple of years older than Paul and Jared and doesn’t usually spend time with them.

“Yeah, there was something a little off about them,” Quil continues. “They were on the beach afterwards, but they hardly even acknowledged we were there. It was like they were all in some little private club or something.” Quil sounds resentful. 

“Aw, fuck them.” Embry nudges him and grins. “Who wants to be in their stupid club anyway? Cliff diving is way overrated. I, for one, can totally live without a freezing cold ass-douching.”

“Eww, nice.” Riley winces. “Sounds unpleasant.” He turns to me. “Have _you_ tried this?”

“Yeah, once or twice,” I chuckle. “And it’s true that water does get in certain places sometimes,” I wince at the memory of the sensation. “But it’s a fucking amazing rush so it’s totally worth it.”

“Hmm,” Riley sounds unconvinced.

I glance around again. “Jake’s still not back?”

“Looks that way,” Quil replies.

XOXOXOX

On Friday morning, Leah comes back to school. Her face is set in a mask of pain. It almost hurts to look at her. But she holds her head high and glares at everyone as if daring them to pity her. Wisely, they keep away. 

Jake’s back too. I greet him at the bus stop with a grin and a wave, happy to see him back, but he just gives me a small, tight smile and goes to stand with Paul and Jared. They huddle together, excluding others from their conversation. They look tired and anxious. Kim’s stuck on the edge, her hand held tight in Jared’s. She tries to catch Leah’s eye, but Leah stays close to me and avoids her gaze.

Leah sits by Riley and me in the cafeteria at lunchtime. She picks at her food, hardly touching it and leaves as quickly as she can. Her dark mood infects the rest of the table. Once she’s gone you can almost see everyone relax and sigh with relief. Word has gotten around and everyone knows that Sam has dumped her but she wears her anger and bitterness like armor, not letting anyone see how desperately unhappy she is. 

Bella ends up sitting near us too, arriving just as Leah is leaving and looking equally miserable. She sidles up with her tray and looks nervously at me.

“Is it okay if I sit with you guys?” She bites her lip.

“Yeah, of course, Bella,” I smile reassuringly and pull a chair out for her.

She sits down beside me, across from Riley, and pushes her food around her plate.

“What’s up?” Riley asks her.

She sighs. “I don’t know,” she pushes her plate away and fiddles with an apple, twisting the stalk as she talks. “Jake’s avoiding me, I have no idea why. Has he said anything to you?”

“No,” I shake my head and shrug.

Jake’s sitting at a small table with Paul, Jared and Kim. They’re talking quietly and I notice that they keep glancing over at the Cullens’ table. 

Jake’s never been a fan of the Cullens, especially since the whole Edward breaking Bella’s heart thing happened. But today the naked hostility in his eyes sends a chill down my spine. The Cullens seem to be aware of the animosity directed at them and are whispering among themselves, their beautiful faces taut and wary. I notice Alice glancing over at Jake’s table with curiosity, her perfect brow furrowed with a frown as though she’s trying to work out a particularly difficult problem.

I turn my attention back to Bella. “I wouldn’t worry,” I say. “Jake’s been weird with us, too, so whatever it is... it’s not just you.”

“Well I guess that makes me feel a little better,” she shrugs and gives a weak smile. 

Everyone is being really fucking weird this week, the drama is getting tiring. 

I catch Riley’s eye across the table. I just want to spend some time with him and forget about all the shit that’s going down. Thank fuck it’s Friday, we’re both hoping we’ll be able to get some time alone together this weekend. He flashes me a quick grin, and I wonder if his mind is going to the same place that mine is right now. I hope so.

**Chapter 6  
**  
I’m fucking glad when Saturday morning comes around. The stress of the week has made me exhausted and I sleep late, enjoying the chance to laze around in bed. Riley and I have plans to meet up later but we’re waiting to see if either of us is going to have the house to ourselves.

My day improves further when I finally get up and wander into the kitchen in search of breakfast. Mom made pancakes and has left a stack for me on the side.

“Hi, sleepy-head,” she smiles at me. 

Leah’s already up and eating. She still looks pale and unhappy but at least she’s managing the pancakes. Mom knows they’re her favorite thing.

“I’m taking Leah to Port Angeles for the day, to do a bit of shopping and maybe see a movie. Do you want to come with us?”

“No,” I try not to look too excited at the prospect of them going out for the day and leaving me on my own. “I’m seeing Riley.”

Leah shoots me a knowing look but I ignore her. 

“Okay,” Mom replies. “I figured that would be the case but I just thought I’d ask. We’ll catch up with you this evening then.”

As soon as I’ve finished eating, I text Riley.

_Mom and L are going out for the day, come over whenever  
_  
I don’t bother to wait for his reply. I already know what he’ll say. 

I dive in the shower as soon as Leah’s done, and I'm sitting on the couch watching TV half an hour later, when I hear a knock on the front door. I jump up and let Riley in, closing the door behind him and pulling him in for a quick kiss as soon as it’s shut. He tries to prolong it, grabbing my hips and licking into my mouth but I pull back reluctantly.

“They’re still here,” I whisper. “But they’ll be leaving soon.”

“Okay,” he grins, releasing me. “I can wait.”

I take his hand and pull him through to the living room and we flop on the couch together, side by side. I keep his hand in mine and we link our fingers together in the space between us.

I pick up the remote and hop through some channels, not really paying attention. I just want my mom and sister to leave so that I can be alone with my boy.

“Seth, go back a minute.” Riley says, his voice urgent as I skip through a news channel. “Wasn’t that Forks?”

“Shit,” I find the channel again. “Yeah, that’s Bella’s dad.”

We watch in silence as Charlie Swan, Chief of Police in Forks, stumbles awkwardly through a statement to the press. A man of few words, he’s clearly uncomfortable in front of the camera.

“... and we can confirm that a body of a woman has been found in the forest five miles outside Forks,” he’s reading from notes, careful to get the words out clearly. “The body is yet to be identified and the cause of death is still unknown. There will be an investigation and we’ll release more information when it’s available.”

“It must be that lady from the store,” Riley looks at me with shocked eyes. “They must know it’s her, they just can’t say until they’re sure.”

“I guess,” I feel sick at the thought of it. Her kids and husband, what they must be going through.

Riley squeezes my hand and moves closer to me on the couch, lifting our joined hands and putting them on his knee. The gesture brings me back from my gloomy thoughts a little, and I smile and lean in to kiss his cheek before I turn my attention back to the news report.

Chief Swan’s being asked questions now but is carefully avoiding giving any new information to the press. The reporters are all asking about the possible connection between this case and the other missing people in the area, and the bodies that have been found.

“So, are you still maintaining that this death is unconnected?” A woman presses, shoving a microphone under Chief Swan’s nose.

“We’re still working on the assumption that the deaths and disappearances earlier in the year were animal attacks, until we have evidence to the contrary,” he answers. “And I have no new information to give you about the missing motorist. We’re still searching the area near where his car was found, but we’ve drawn a blank so far. We have no reason to believe that there’s any connection to this case.”

The interview ends and they cut back to the studio and move on to a new story.

“Do you believe him?” Riley turns and asks me, his eyes intent. 

I sigh heavily, the sense of foreboding back, tingling through my senses. I face Riley and shake my head. “No,” I say. “I think it’s all connected, but I don’t know why. I just have a really bad feeling about it.”

We stare at each other and for a fleeting moment I can see real fear in Riley’s eyes before he snaps himself out of it. He jumps up and switches the X-box on.

“I need to be distracted,” he says. “It’s too fucking gloomy. There’s no point worrying about something we don’t have any control over.” 

“I can think of other ways of distracting you,” I grin suggestively.

Riley sits back down next to me and kisses me, lingering this time, his lips warm and wet and his hand sliding up my thigh. “I bet you can,” he murmurs. “And once your mom and sister have left, I’ll hold you to that.”

We distract ourselves very effectively by shooting and blowing up zombies for a while. Finally my mom puts her head around the door.

“Hi, Riley,” she smiles. “Good to see you. Seth, Leah and I are going now. We’ll be home for dinner, I’ll bring something back to heat up.”

“Okay, Mom. Have a good time,” I say, pausing the game so I can look up. 

Mom sighs. “Yeah, I hope we will. Maybe it will cheer Leah up a little. Okay, see you later, Sweetie.”

She leaves us and I hear the front door close behind them as they leave. 

I turn to Riley. “Do you wanna finish the game?” I jerk my head towards the screen. 

He looks back at me, eyes dark and hungry as he licks his lips and shakes his head. “Nope,” he puts his controller down and pulls mine out of my hand as he tackles me down onto the sofa.

I wriggle and laugh as he kisses me, hands everywhere, pulling at my clothes in search of skin.

“Stop giggling,” he growls. 

“I’m sorry,” I gasp, pushing him off me and grabbing his hands. “I wanna move this to my room, just in case Mom comes back for something.”

“Okay,” he agrees. “That could be embarrassing given that my plans involve both of us getting naked.”

“Well, what are we waiting for then?” I jump up and pull him along with me. He follows eagerly.

We strip as soon as we reach my room. Unembarrassed this time, both impatient, we help each other out of our clothes and tumble onto my single bed. We kiss and touch until we’re both hard and leaking and our breathing becomes ragged. 

I roll Riley onto his back and work my way down his body, determined to get the chance to taste him. He throws his head back and gasps, threading his fingers into my hair as I map out the dips and hollows of his abdomen. I move back and forth, licking and sucking at the soft skin where it stretches over the jut of his hips, avoiding his erection for now while he moans and tightens his fingers in my hair. I can smell him, salty and musky, and it makes me impossibly hard. I grind my cock into the bedspread and feel a rush of saliva in my mouth.

“Fucking tease,” he groans. But when I look up he’s smiling down at me from under hooded eyes, his cheeks flushed. Beautiful.

I crook my fingers around his dick and pull it away from his body. He’s hard and flushed, pre-cum beading at the tip and sticking to his belly in a long, stretched strand. I use a finger from my other hand to break the thread and suck it into my mouth. Riley moans impatiently and his cock twitches. 

Finally I give in, no longer able to wait myself. I stick out my tongue and lick delicately around the head, tasting his salty-sweetness and feeling the incredible softness of his skin. I suck him into my mouth and he gasps, hips twitching reflexively. I suck slowly, taking him in, feeling the heat of him against my tongue. I release the base of him now and use both my hands to spread his legs wider, settling between them so I can get to work. 

He’s pliant under my hands, legs parting willingly and I stroke the insides of his thighs, gradually moving my hands higher until my thumbs graze the mound beneath his balls. He lets out a strangled sound when I stroke him there and I feel him twitch again in my mouth. 

I glance up and can see that he’s going to come soon. His eyes are glazed, mouth slack with pleasure, the flush on his face extending down onto his neck and chest. His fingers are still gripping my hair, the slight sting keeping me focused on what I’m doing to him, helping me to ignore my own painful erection as it rubs against the bed. 

“Fuck... Seth... really fucking close...” he gasps. 

I move one hand to stroke his balls now. I like to touch myself there when I come. I roll them gently in my fingers, the thumb of my other hand massaging the skin behind them. I feel Riley’s hips buck and his balls tighten as he curses and moans and then he’s pulsing into my mouth and under my hands and filling my mouth with hot, salty fluid. I pull off quickly to swallow, taking him in my hand, stroking him instead and he shoots again, a streak of white on his golden skin, his stomach muscles clenching and contracting as he rides out his orgasm.

“ _Fuck._ ” He sounds weak, exhausted when he finally finishes. “That was incredible. Come here.”

He pulls me up and I crawl over him, ignoring the mess on his belly, pressing our bodies close. He kisses me hard and deep, his tongue searching my mouth and my cock slides against his. I reach down and hold both of us in my hand, desperate for release now as I thrust against him.

“Is this okay?” I pull my mouth away to ask, knowing that he might be over-sensitive now.

“Yes,” he hisses, his body still twitching with after-shocks. 

So, I scoop the cum off his stomach to slick my hand and carry on stroking both of us together. He grabs my ass and encourages me, pulling at me, his fingers slipping into the crack, the sudden surprising sensation sending me closer to the edge. 

I’m close, so close now and pull back to look down as I feel myself tense and finally explode in white hot pleasure. My hips stutter and I groan as I watch my cock jerk and spill between us, painting his belly and pooling in his navel. 

I collapse panting on top of him, unable to hold myself up any longer. I lie with my face pressed into Riley’s neck, his scent in my nostrils, his hands soothing the sweaty skin of my back. Finally I manage to lift my head up to look at him again and he smiles, then cranes his neck up to kiss me softly before flopping back onto the pillows again. I rest my head back down on his chest and listen to the steady, reassuring sound of his heartbeat.

I’m not sure how long we lie there for, unmoving, peaceful. I think I may even doze for a while, but then Riley shifts slightly and I realize that he’s had the full weight of my body on him for quite some time now. I peel myself off him and squeeze onto my side between him and the wall. The bed’s just wide enough.

“Sorry,” I grin. “Was I squashing you?”

“A little,” he smiles sleepily. “But I liked it.”

I run my hand down his chest, pausing when I get to the mess of drying cum that was smeared between us. 

“Wanna take a shower?” I suggest.

“Together?” his eyes light up at the prospect.

“Okay,” I grin. “It’s just big enough for two, I guess.”

“Well, if you had to rub up against me due to lack of space, I wouldn’t be totally opposed to that,” he deadpans.

“Good to know,” I tickle his ribs and make him giggle and squirm. “Come on then, Sticky.”

We walk naked down the hallway to the tiny bathroom. I pause to grab an extra towel from the cupboard on the way past. My eyes drop to Riley’s ass as he walks in front of me. I haven’t really noticed this part of his anatomy before, my attention has always been on his lips, or chest, or dick. But now I notice that his ass is gorgeous, firm and rounded, and I make a mental note to pay it some attention in the shower.

Personal space isn’t an option with two fully grown boys in the shower. It’s definitely only designed for one person, but luckily we’re okay with the proximity. I nearly poke Riley in the eye with my elbow when I start to shampoo my hair, so he pulls my hands down and rubs his fingers into my scalp to work up a lather. It feels wonderful and I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation. Once I’ve rinsed the suds away I return the favor.

Then Riley grabs the shower gel and squirts some onto his hands, then passes it to me. We wash each other, paying particular attention to our sticky stomachs. As our hands slip over each other’s cocks we both start to get hard again. We kiss as the water streams over our faces, trickling into our mouths as we lick and suck at each other’s lips and we pull apart spluttering and laughing.

“Turn around,” I say, reaching for the shower gel again. “I’ll do your back.”

He complies and braces his hands against the tiles as I massage shower gel into his shoulders. He’s smooth and slippery under my hands, the lean muscles close below his skin. I trace my fingers lightly down the bumps of his spine and then circle my thumbs in the perfect dimples above his ass cheeks. My dick is fully hard again now and it brushes against the cheek of his ass. He wriggles against it and turns his head, asking for a kiss. The angle’s awkward so I suck gently on his neck and nip at his ear instead as my hands slip down and cup his ass. He pushes back against them and my fingers start to wander, tentatively sliding into his crack. Riley makes a whimpering noise.

“Is this okay?” I murmur, my mouth just below his ear.

“Yeah... feels good.” He spreads his legs a little and my fingers slip in further.

Riley moans as my fingers slide deeper, exploring by touch. He leans on one forearm now, bringing his other hand down and I feel a shocking jolt of heat to my groin as I realize he’s touching himself. I probe with my fingers carefully, finding his hole and circling it with a fingertip as his arm starts to move faster.

“Fuck... Seth,” he whines. “Don’t stop.” I have no fucking intention of stopping when he’s making sounds like that. I keep up the movement of my finger and grind my cock against the cheek of his ass so he can feel how hard I am. God, he’s so fucking hot. “Oh... shit, _fuck_...” I feel him tense against me as his whole body bucks. I clamp my free arm around him, holding him up as he shudders and moans.

When he’s done he sags against the wall, holding himself up with both hands now. His ass is too much for me to resist. I press my erection against the crack and grind against him, sliding up and down, gripping his hips tightly.

“Oh, God,” I suck and nip at his neck. “I need to come so badly.”

“Yeah, do it,” he gasps back. “It feels really hot, your cock against my ass.”

It’s all wet skin and hot bodies and slippery soap and I lose myself again. It feels almost like I’m fucking him and I’m dizzy with need. I push harder, buck my hips faster and when my orgasm tears through me I cry out, a harsh, primal sound that’s barely human.

XOXOXOX

Riley and I spend the rest of our day together chilling out. We raid the refrigerator after our shower. Apparently we worked up quite an appetite. We do a little studying, play a little X-box, and do a lot of talking and making out. It’s so easy being with Riley and he makes me feel ridiculously happy. 

He leaves before Mom and Leah get back, but we make plans to hang out on the beach tomorrow. The forecast is good and some of the other kids from school are going to be there.

Mom brings back pizzas for dinner and we eat them off our laps in the living room, watching TV. The atmosphere in the house is strained. Leah’s mood hasn’t been improved by a day out. And although she doesn’t say anything, I know that the knowledge that I’ve spent an uninterrupted day with my boyfriend is only making her feel the loss of Sam more acutely. 

When Mom asks me about my day, I try and answer casually but I can’t help the smile that sneaks across my face and the flush that warms my cheeks when I think about some of the things that we did together. I catch Leah’s eye and she looks away quickly, her face tense.

On Sunday the weather is warm and sunny, as promised. I try and persuade Leah to come along to the beach. Mom is desperate to keep her busy and distracted, but Leah refuses. I guess she knows that she might see Sam there and I don’t think she can bear the thought of it, so I don’t push her too hard. 

We have fun on the beach. Riley dares me to swim again and somehow the water feels even fucking colder in daylight, which makes no sense to me. But the sight of Riley wet and glistening in the sunshine is worth the shock to my balls from the freezing ocean. 

There’s a big group of kids from school, and a few from Forks have driven over too. I don’t see Sam around though, and I think that it’s a shame Leah didn’t come after all. Then later I realize that a few of the other regulars are also missing -- Jake, Paul and Jared never put in an appearance either. I remember their odd behavior around school last week and wonder fleetingly what the hell’s going on with them, it’s not like them to miss out on a beach day. 

Riley and I deliberately try not to be too inseparable. We both make the effort to talk with other people and distance ourselves from each other a little bit. But when we walk home I sneak a quick kiss on his porch after checking that no one’s around to see.

“I missed being able to do that today,” I mutter quietly as I pull away and move back to a safe distance.

“Me too,” he replies. 

“See you tomorrow,” I say. “Maybe we can hang out after school again?”

“Sure,” he grins. “Your place or mine?”

 

**Chapter 7  
**  
But nothing goes as planned on Monday. 

Right from the start things are weird. Paul, Jared and Jake turn up late for the bus -- just making it in time. They look like shit, as though they’ve been up all night. I’m seriously starting to wonder if they’re doing drugs or something because they’re like different people from the boys I used to know. Paul’s always on a short fuse but he looks like he’s going to explode any minute. His whole body’s tight with tension, a muscle ticking in his jaw like there’s something living under his skin. 

Embry doesn’t make the bus at all. It’s not until we get to school for registration that we hear that his parents have called in to say he’s sick. 

Leah’s a fucking mess too. She didn’t want to go to school but Mom made her get her ass out of bed and on to the bus. She didn’t speak a single word to me all morning. I know she’s hurting and I feel bad for her but I can’t help being pissed at her too. She’s so fucking angry and brittle and it’s exhausting being around her. 

Riley’s the only thing that keeps me going during the morning. We have a couple of classes together. Just seeing him smile and getting the chance to exchange a few words with him now and again drives some of my dark mood away.

At lunchtime Riley and I are late getting to the cafeteria as we stay behind to help clear away some equipment after Science class.

As soon as we walk through the double doors, I sense the tension in the room. Kids are hunched around in little huddles at their tables, muttering and looking across at the Cullens’ table with blatant interest. I immediately see why.

“Fuck,” I murmur to Riley. “Edward Cullen’s back.”

He’s sitting at the table surrounded by his freaky family as though he’s never been away. His odd-colored red-brown hair is as messy as ever. His weird golden eyes -- which all the Cullens share despite not being blood relations -- flash as he smirks and murmurs something to one of his siblings. Then I notice that Bella is sitting beside him, her pale face flushed as she stares adoringly at him, hanging on his every word. 

My eyes seek out Jake and find him, sitting with Paul and Jared again. Jake’s eyes are fixed on Edward and he looks murderous, his fists clenched visibly on the table as his gaze bores into the red-haired boy. If looks could kill, Edward would be six feet under right about now.

_Well this is gonna be fun.  
_  
Riley and I go and get our food and join Quil, who’s sitting at a table with Leah and a few other kids from the Res. I slide in next to Leah who looks up and gives me a faint twitch of her lips as I greet her.

“Hey, Sis. You okay?”

She shrugs and pushes her food around her plate. Unsurprisingly, she’s barely touched it. Her face is tense and a little flushed. 

“So, what the hell’s going on?” Riley asks the question, looking around at the others on our table.

“Well, as you can see... Edward Cullen’s back,” Quil glances over at the Cullen table. “And he’s been all over Bella apparently.”

“Yeah,” Leah’s voice is furious. “He sat back next to her in Bio like he’s never been away. Jake tried to talk to her between classes but Cullen warned him off. Fucking bullshit after the way he behaved. I thought Jake was gonna rip him a new one but Jared and Paul stopped him. If it was me I’d have let him.” The bitterness in Leah’s voice is like acid. She’s tearing a piece of bread into tiny pieces as she talks, shredding it systematically with her fingers. “I can’t fucking believe Bella’s giving that asshole the time of day after the way he treated her.” 

“Did anyone know he was coming back?” I ask.

“I have no idea,” Leah shrugs, her lip curling as she looks over at the Cullens again. “I never talk to those stuck up freaks if I can help it.”

I look carefully at Leah. Her eyes are glittering and there are beads of sweat on her brow. She scowls at me as I stare at her and flinches when I put my hand to her forehead. Heat is radiating off her, I feel it before my fingers even make contact.

“Shit, Leah, you’re burning up.” I say. “I think maybe you should go home.”

She puts her own hand up and feels the dampness at her temples. She looks confused for a moment, as though she’s only just noticing.

“Yeah... maybe,” she shakes her head. “I do feel a little off, but not like I’m sick though. I don’t feel tired or weak, I’m just really fucking jittery.”

“Maybe it’s lack of sleep?” Riley suggests. “That always makes me feel really weird.”

“Maybe.” She shivers visibly and frowns again then stands up suddenly, her chair screeching as it scrapes across the floor. “I think you’re right, I’ll go get a note from the nurse.”

“How will you get home?” I ask her.

“I’ll see if Jake can drive me,” she says. “He has study hall next period.”

“Okay,” I nod. “I’ll see you back at home later.”

XOXOXOX

Riley comes to my place after school. When we get there the house is silent. Mom’s at work and due back around six, but I was expecting to find Leah on the couch under a blanket. I guess maybe she’s feeling sick enough to have gone to bed.

Riley and I fix ourselves some drinks and snacks and hang out in the kitchen for a while. Once we’ve finished and cleared up a little we pick up our school bags and head to my room, planning on a little studying and a little making out. 

I notice that Leah’s door is open and move to close it quietly, not wanting to disturb her as we pass it. But as I peek through, I feel a cold chill of concern when I see that her curtains are wide open, letting the daylight in and showing me that Leah isn’t there. Her school bag is on the floor, along with her jacket, so she obviously made it home.

“That’s weird,” I turn to Riley who’s standing, looking over my shoulder. “Where could she have gone?”

I pull out my cell and call her, but we hear the buzz of her phone vibrating in her room and realize that it’s coming from her school bag just as it cuts to voicemail. 

“Could she have gone to the doctor?” Riley suggests, but he looks worried too.

“I’d better call Mom.”

I pull out my cell, not bothering to move from Leah’s doorway. 

“Hey, Mom, have you heard from Leah today?” 

I choose my words carefully. I don’t want to freak Mom out unnecessarily but my mind is already going to really bad places. I keep seeing Charlie Swan’s face in my mind talking about the body of the woman that was found in the forest. When Mom says she hasn’t heard anything from my sister I feel an icy clench in my chest. I fill Mom in on what I know.

“Maybe she’s just gone out to get some air, or buy some soda or something?” I say but I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince. I feel my hand shaking, I’m clutching my phone so hard I think it might break. Riley puts an arm around my shoulders as Mom speaks again.

“You go look around the Res for her, I’m leaving work now. I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, Mom.” I end the call and turn to Riley. He hugs me tightly, just for a few seconds before I pull away. “Come on.” I set off down the hallway, Riley following close behind me.

As we hurry to the store first, I text Jake.

_Leah’s missing. Call me ASAP._

__The clerk at the store says that Leah hasn’t been in today. I ask everyone we pass on the way and no one’s seen her.

“Could she have gone to see Sam?” Riley suggests. 

“I guess... maybe?” I nod. “Definitely worth a try.”

We run to Sam’s body shop and arrive breathless. 

“Seth, what’s up?” Sam looks a little wary as he straightens up from under the hood of a car. Maybe he thinks I’ve come here to kick his ass for messing with my sister. I look up at his huge frame, he’s shirtless and his muscles bulge and ripple as he wipes his hands on an oily rag. I nearly chuckle at the thought -- like me kicking Sam’s ass is even a tiny possibility. 

“Have you seen Leah today?” I ask him.

“No,” he shakes his head, looking surprised. “But why? Is she okay?”

“No,” I spit out. “She hasn’t been _okay_ since last week.” He shifts uncomfortably as I pin him with a glare. “But now she’s gone missing and I’m worried -- really worried.” Fear floods in, cooling my anger. “She was feeling sick at school so she came home, but now she’s gone. It doesn’t make sense.”

Sam narrows his eyes. “What sort of sick exactly?” I can sense his tension as he waits for my reply.

“I don’t know... a fever. It came on really quick, she was kind of anxious with it too.”

Sam’s face is unreadable as he stares at me. “That’s not possible.” His voice is a whisper, as though he’s talking to himself rather than me.

Before I have time to register what he’s doing, Sam’s running past Riley and me, out of the shop and back down the road towards my house. 

“What the fuck?” I yell in frustration.

We follow him but he has a lead on us and is almost inhumanly fast. When he reaches our house he doesn’t go inside, but keeps on running past it towards the trees behind. When Riley and I break through the tree line we’ve lost him. We stop and listen and can hear the sound of something large crashing through the undergrowth but we know we have no chance of catching up with him now. 

“What’s that?” Riley pants, gasping for breath as he points at something on the forest floor twenty yards or so further in.

We move closer to see and find Sam’s shoes cast aside as though he’s kicked them off in a hurry. Riley walks a little further into the darkness of the trees and pulls something off a low branch. It’s a scrap of fabric that looks like denim, there are similar pieces scattered nearby.

I don’t have any head space left to wonder what the hell has just happened.

“Let’s go back to my place and wait.” I feel numb now, like I can’t take anything else in. “Mom’ll be home soon.”

Riley takes my hand as we walk slowly back to my house and let ourselves in. I don’t give a shit if anyone sees us right now. I need him, let them think whatever the fuck they want.

XOXOXOX

I’m pacing the living room floor while Riley sits on the couch watching me helplessly when my phone buzzes. It’s Jake.

“What’s going on?” He asks.

“Leah’s gone,” I say. “I can’t find her anywhere, she left her phone here. What was she like when you left her?”

“She said she was feeling odd, but that she’d be okay,” Jake’s voice is concerned. “I’m sorry, man. She didn’t seem too bad. I thought she was just gonna sleep it off. Where do you think she’d go?”

“I have no fucking idea,” I say. “We looked around the Res but no sign. Sam’s gone into the woods to look for her... but I don’t see why she’d go there.” I don’t understand what happened with Sam just now.

Jake’s silent for a moment before replying. “Sam?” he says, his voice carefully calm. “Sam’s gone to look for her?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “He just took off, he was really weird about it.”

“I gotta go,” Jake says. My phone goes dead before I can reply.

“What the fuck is _with_ everyone today?” I growl in frustration.

Riley looks at me questioningly. I shove my phone back in my pocket and run my hands through my hair in agitation. 

I hear Mom’s key in the door and she comes rushing in, her face fraught with anxiety. “Is there any news?” 

I shake my head. “No, there was no sign of her on the Res. Sam’s gone to look for her in the woods. Do you think we should call the police?” 

Mom bites her lip and frowns. “Let’s give Sam a little while. Maybe he knows a place that she might go?”

“Okay,” I guess that’s a possibility. They used to hike together, maybe she just wanted to be alone and has gone for a walk or something. I really fucking hope so but I’m unconvinced.

I make Mom a cup of tea while she phones around a few people to ask if they’ve seen Leah, but she draws a blank. Riley stays close to me, not speaking much, but his silent support makes me feel a little less bleak. I can’t shake the awful feeling of dread that’s settled in the pit of my stomach, the feeling that something in our lives has altered and that nothing will ever be the same again. 

Overcome with sudden exhaustion I flop down on the couch, while Mom stands at the window looking out hopefully. Riley comes and sits beside me and puts an arm around me. I lean in gratefully and let him hold me, taking comfort in his warmth and solidity. Mom looks over briefly and smiles softly when she sees us. 

Half an hour passes and there’s still no sign of Leah, and Sam hasn’t returned. Mom’s looking more jumpy by the minute, checking her watch at increasingly regular intervals.

“I’m going to call Charlie Swan,” she says finally. “I can’t wait anymore.”

She has her phone in her hand when we’re interrupted by someone bursting through the front door and rushing into the living room. Mom sags in disappointment when she sees that it’s only Jake. He’s out of breath as though he’s been running and is barefoot, dressed only in a pair of cut off denims. I quirk my eyebrows at Jake’s odd attire but now’s not the time to comment. 

Mom ushers Jake in quickly.

“Any news?” Mom demands impatiently.

“She’s safe.” We all breathe a collective sigh of relief but wait for Jake to continue. He clearly has more to say. He looks awkward for a moment, as though he’s searching for the right words. “She’s with Sam,” he says finally. 

Mom narrows her eyes. “Where with Sam? And why is she with him?”

“I can’t explain now... I’m sorry, Sue. You just need to trust me. He’s looking after her for now and will bring her home later. He’ll be able to tell you more.” 

Mom looks at him carefully for a moment. Then appears to accept what he’s saying.

Jake looks at me and Riley for the first time since he’s entered the room. I suddenly stiffen as I realize that Riley’s arm is still around my shoulders and we’re sitting close, closer than two straight boys would ever normally sit. I see Jake register our position and surprise flits over his features. I hold his stare, my face flaming but he just smiles at me and an understanding passes between us. I relax and feel Riley’s hand squeeze my shoulder. 

“I have to go,” Jake says. “Please try not to worry,” he looks at my mom. “She _is_ safe, she’ll be okay. We’ll bring her home later.”

Mom sees Jake out and returns to the living room. She still looks concerned but is a little more relaxed now.

“I should make some dinner,” she says brusquely. “We need to eat and I can keep some for Leah when she comes home.”

“Okay,” I nod. I can see that she needs to keep herself occupied.

Riley looks at his watch, it’s nearly six. “I should probably head home,” he says, looking at me.

“Can you stay?” I blurt out. I sound really needy, but I want him here. I have no fucking idea what’s going on. I’m stressed out and still a little scared and Riley makes me feel better. “Mom would it be okay if Riley stays here tonight?”

“Sure, Honey,” she shrugs, distracted. “If that’s okay with Kathy.”

“I’ll call her,” Riley gives me a small smile. “I’m sure she won’t mind.”

Riley’s mom’s cool with it when he explains the situation -- not that it’s easy to explain. My sister’s missing; but not _really_ missing. We know that she’s safe, but there’s something going on and I don’t know what. 

Riley and I both help Mom in the kitchen, peeling onions, chopping vegetables, grating cheese. Between us we make a pasta dish to bake in the oven and while it’s cooking we watch some crappy sitcom on TV to distract us. Riley sits beside me on the couch again and holds my hand, stroking soothing circles on the palm of my hand with his fingers. 

We eat together, mostly in silence. I’m hungry despite everything and eat the food gratefully. None of us really have anything to say to each other. My head is full of confused theories about what could be going on with Leah and Sam, and how Jake’s involved with it. But none of them make any sense, and I can’t see the point in discussing it when neither Riley nor my Mom know any more than I do. 

After dinner we clear the table and then go back to the living room and let the TV distract us until Riley starts to yawn.

“Why don’t you boys go to bed,” Mom says. “I’ll let you know when Leah gets back, there’s no point all of us waiting up. You can get the blow-up mattress out for Riley and I’ll find some spare covers.”

Riley comes to my room and helps me pump up the mattress.

“You do know I’m not gonna be sleeping on this, right?” He raises his eyebrows at me.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t be,” I grin. “I bet Mom knows you won’t be too, she’s just keeping up appearances I think.”

Mom comes in with an extra pillow and some blankets and we go through the motions of making up the bed on the floor. 

I let Riley use my toothbrush and we take turns in the bathroom. I say goodnight to Mom, hugging her tightly. “I’m sure she’ll be fine,” I murmur pointlessly. I’m not really sure about anything but I don’t know what else to say.

I close the door to my room carefully but don’t lock it. Riley and I strip down to our t-shirts and underwear and squeeze ourselves into my bed. It’s barely big enough for the both of us. To be honest, we’d probably be a lot more comfortable if he slept on the floor but there’s no way that’s going to happen. 

I need to be close to him. It’s not even sexual tonight, this is all about comfort and he knows exactly what I need without me having to ask. I roll onto my side away from him to turn off the lamp and he tucks himself in behind me and puts an arm around my belly, holding me close as our bodies fit perfectly together. He drops a kiss on the back of my neck, his warm breath tickling the hair at my nape. 

“Good night, Seth,” he whispers. 

I take the hand that’s splayed on my chest and hold it in mine, playing with Riley’s slender fingers as my mind starts to drift.

I’m not expecting sleep to come easily. But in Riley’s arms I feel the soft rhythm of his chest expanding against my back with each slow breath and it lulls me. I feel my body relax and grow heavy and eventually I slip away into confused dreams of running like the wind through forests and leaping impossible distances over streams and gullies. In my dreams I’m chasing after something, or searching for someone, but they’re frustratingly always just out of my reach. 

**Chapter 8  
**  
I’m woken by a soft knock on my door. I lift my head, confused after being dragged out of my strangely vivid dreams.

The door’s pushed open and I see my mom’s silhouette in the light from the hallway. I try to turn over, and am bewildered when I realize that I have a warm weight wrapped around me. Riley, of course. He’s still fast asleep and doesn’t even stir. I’m lying on my back now and he’s curled in beside me, his head on my shoulder and an arm thrown across my chest. 

Mom creeps into my room, stepping over the empty mattress on the floor, and kneels down by my bed. I can just see her face in the dim light that’s filtering through the door and she quirks her eyebrows as she sees Riley in my bed.

“I’m sorry, Mom.” I mutter quietly but she shakes her head and shushes me.

“It’s okay,” she whispers and smiles. “I wasn’t born yesterday you know. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that Leah’s back.”

“Is she all right?” 

“She’s exhausted and is sleeping now. Sam and Jake brought her home but they were dead on their feet too, so I’ll be talking to them tomorrow to get some answers.” She looks determined. “But she’s home. I knew you’d want to know.” She lifts a hand and strokes my hair back from my forehead, just like she used to do when I was small and couldn’t sleep. “I’m going to bed now, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay.” I yawn and settle back down against my pillow as she stands and moves quietly back towards the door. “Night, Mom.”

“Sleep well,” she whispers, then closes the door carefully behind her.

XOXOXOX

The next time I wake up it’s to the feeling of someone pressing soft kisses to the side of my neck and warm hands brushing over my stomach, pushing my t-shirt up. 

“Mmm,” I hum as the lips reach my jaw and I put my arms around Riley, rolling him on top of me and sliding my hands down to grip his hips. 

His mouth finds mine and I kiss him lightly, self-conscious about morning breath at first. But when I feel his tongue tease the seam of my lips I stop worrying and kiss him back, opening up and tasting him. 

I can feel his morning erection pressing against mine and I really wish we had time to do something about them -- but not today. Eventually he pulls away and smiles down at me.

“That was an awesome way to wake up,” I grin approvingly. 

“I guess we should get up if we want to stand any chance of making the bus,” Riley sighs. “I’m gonna run home so I can shower and change.”

“Okay, I’ll go check on Mom and Leah.” I leave him to get dressed and open my door quietly.

The house is silent. I peek through Leah’s door to reassure myself that she’s definitely safe and there’s an unmoving lump in her bed, dark hair spread across her pillow. 

I find Mom in the kitchen sitting at the table drinking coffee. She looks exhausted, her face strained and weary. It reminds me of how she looked in the weeks after Dad died. 

“Hi, Mom, did you sleep okay?” I ask her. 

“Eventually,” she forces a smile. “It was a short night. I’m taking the day off work today so I can stay here with Leah.”

“Good,” I say. I don’t want Leah to be left alone if there’s any chance that she’s still a flight risk. 

Riley comes through then to say goodbye to my Mom. I walk him to the door and he brushes a quick kiss on my lips before leaving. 

Leah still hasn’t surfaced by the time I leave for school.

XOXOXOX

On my way home in the afternoon I sit on the bus, bouncing my knee impatiently. I haven’t heard anything from Mom all day and while I’m assuming that no news is good news, I really want to find out what’s going on with Leah. 

“I should head home and let you deal, I guess.” Riley says as we get off the bus.

“To what?” I say, confused.

“Your family drama, I don’t want to intrude.”

I turn and look into his dark eyes, my voice serious. “Riley, you wouldn’t be. You know as much as I do anyway, and I was really grateful you were there last night.” We’re standing close to each other, talking quietly, and I notice some of the other kids looking at us with undisguised interest. “I’d like you to come back to my place again if that’s okay with you.”

He stares back at me and his face flickers into a smile, shy and intimate, and I know that anyone watching us carefully would see so much more than friendship in his face right now. I just smile right back at him, not caring who’s watching. 

“Okay,” he says simply, and falls into step beside me as we start to walk.

When we get to my place I hear the sound of voices as we enter. I find Mom and Leah in the living room along with Sam and Jake. I look at Jake in surprise. He must have skipped school this afternoon since I saw him in the cafeteria at lunchtime. I hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t on the bus just now. 

Leah’s sitting on one of the armchairs, her knees pulled up and her arms folded around them defensively. She’s biting her lip and her eyes are cast down. 

They’re silent when we walk into the room and apart from Leah, their eyes all turn to us. 

“Hi,” I look at Mom. I want to ask about Leah but don’t want to talk about her as if she’s not there. I turn to Sam and Jake instead. They both meet my eyes but they look uncomfortable. 

“So, are you going to tell me what the fuck happened yesterday?” I demand.

Sam shakes his head. “I can’t.” His eyes flicker to Riley for a second before coming back to mine. “It’s complicated. There are things you need to know, but now isn’t the right time.”

“I think maybe I should leave,” Riley says and turns back towards the door. 

I grab his hand and stop him, pulling him back to stand beside me. Sam looks down at our joined hands and looks properly at Riley, studying him as if really seeing him for the first time. 

“Anything you can you say to me, you can say in front of Riley.” My voice is angry and Riley squeezes my hand reassuringly. 

“I’m sorry, Seth. And Riley -- it’s nothing personal,” Sam’s voice is serious. “I just can’t talk about this now.”

My mom intervenes. “Maybe it’s best if you and Riley both leave us for now. Go and get yourselves a snack, do some homework for a while. Then I can talk to you later, okay?”

I glare around the room. I feel as though I’m being excluded from something that concerns me and I don’t like it, but I can see from Sam’s face that there’s no point in arguing with him. 

“Fine,” I say curtly. “Come on, Ri.” 

I close the door behind us, leaving them to their secrets.

We go to the kitchen and raid the cupboards, find cookies to eat and wash them down with milk. Then we head to my room and do a bit of half-hearted studying. 

I’m finding it difficult to concentrate, my head is buzzing and I feel jumpy and aware of every small sound that I’d usually ignore. I guess I’m just tired and stressed by the events of the last twenty-four hours. 

I close my books and drop them in a heap on the floor in frustration. “I can’t do this,” I sigh and lean back against the head of the bed. “I’m just not in the right state of mind today for school work.”

Riley puts his books away too, shoving them in his bag and chucking it aside. He crawls up the bed, straddling me, a suggestive smile on his face. “Wanna make out instead?”

“Sounds perfect,” I murmur, slipping my hands up the back of his t-shirt. He feels cool under my hands. 

He bends down and our lips meet and his hands come up to cup my face, his fingers slipping into my hair. Riley pulls back and looks at me carefully. “You feel hot,” he says, frowning. 

“I am hot,” I chuckle, grabbing a handful of his t-shirt and pulling him back to kiss me again. “You should know this by now.”

He laughs between kisses. “Oh yeah, I _definitely_ know it.”

We roll around on my bed for a while, and we get hard and horny as usual. He’s still straddling me, grinding slowly, exquisitely against me as we kiss. I feel waves of pleasure rising but they’re edged with an unfamiliar, almost unbearable tension and I lose myself in it. 

I flip him over with a growl and he gasps in surprise, but grins as he lies there, looking up at me expectantly. I pull his shirt up and off and tear at mine, hearing the fabric rip as I strip it over my head. I claim his mouth again, pinning his arms over his head and covering his body with mine, my hips undulating against his as he rocks beneath me and moans into my mouth. I’ve lost all control now and I know that I’m going to come in my pants but I’m past caring. With a final thrust I feel my cock pulse, hot and wet inside my clothing. I bite down on Riley’s shoulder to muffle a harsh cry that escapes from my mouth. I collapse over him, shuddering and gasping as I release my bruising grip on his wrists. His arms close around me and hold me, steadying me until my breathing slows. 

As I start to come back to reality I’m filled with shame. “I’m sorry,” I mutter.

“What for?” He asks.

I lift my head off Riley’s chest and look at him. I bring my hand up and touch his face gently. “I don’t know what happened... I lost myself there for a minute. I didn’t mean to be so rough.” I pull the neck of his t-shirt aside and my face burns as I see the crescent marks of my teeth imprinted on his skin. “Shit... I’m so sorry...” I lean down and kiss them, trying to soothe them with my tongue.

“Seth,” his voice is calm, insistent. “ _Seth!_ ”

I raise my head to look at him again and he smiles at me, his face gentle. “It’s okay, really. And honestly, it was actually fucking hot that you lost control like that. Don’t feel bad.”

“Are you sure?” I still feel mortified. 

He nods again. “Like I said, it was hot.” And then he grins. “But I didn’t come yet so maybe you could quit wasting time apologizing, and help me out with that?”

I laugh. “I guess that might help me feel less guilty.”

I wriggle down level with his crotch and unfasten his pants, releasing his cock. I don’t waste any time, mindful that there are other people in the house. I want to finish this before we get disturbed. I close my mouth around him immediately and he gasps, fisting my hair.

“Oh my God,” his hips jerk as I suck, hard and fast and his fingers grip my hair tighter. “Oh fuck.”

It doesn’t take long before he’s filling my mouth with his cum and moaning my name. I swallow it down, and lick him clean before tucking him back into his underwear. I crawl back up and pull him into my arms. 

Now he’s the one who’s wrecked and panting.

“Fuck... that was intense.” He sounds dazed. “Your mouth was hot, like burning hot. Are you sure you’re not sick?” His hands roam over my torso. “You really feel like you have a fever.”

“I don’t feel sick,” I insist. 

We lie there for a while, wrapped around each other. As the high of my orgasm ebbs I start to feel tense again, I feel the muscles in my jaw tightening and a ripple of tension rolls through me making me shiver. Riley holds me closer, soothing me with the gentle touch of his hands. I try to breathe slowly, counting the beats of his heart to ground me. 

We rouse ourselves and pull our t-shirts back on when we hear the sound of voices in the hallway and the front door opening and closing. The movement reminds me that I have jizz in my pants so I strip off and pull on clean underwear, flushing as Riley smirks at me. My jeans only have a tiny damp patch on them so I pull my t-shirt down to cover that. 

We wander back out to find Mom alone in the kitchen.

“Where’s Leah?” I ask. 

“She’s gone out with Sam and Jake,” Mom replies, her face giving nothing away.

“I didn’t think she’d want to spend any more time in Sam’s company than she had to at the moment,” I say, surprised. 

“Sometimes people don’t have a choice,” Mom’s voice breaks and I realize with horror that there are tears in her eyes. She sniffs and gets a hold of herself. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes, her voice brusque. She turns to Riley. “I’m sorry, Riley, but I need to speak to Seth alone. I’m afraid you need to go home now.”

“That’s okay,” Riley nods. “I need to get back anyway; Mom will think I’ve moved out.” He grins. “Thank you for letting me stay last night, and I hope everything’s okay with Leah.” He glances at me, his eyes concerned.

“I’ll walk you out,” I say.

On the doorstep I pull Riley into my arms, clinging tightly and breathing him in. I don’t want to let him go. Finally, reluctantly I relinquish my hold on him and rest my forehead against his for a moment -- my hands on his shoulders, while his rest on my hips. 

“I love you,” he says suddenly, his voice quiet and urgent. “I know it’s soon... and I don’t want to freak you out. But I wanted to tell you.”

I forget to breathe for a moment, the shock of his words taking away my ability to speak. I haven’t thought about him in those terms yet. But memories from the past couple of weeks flit through my mind as I freeze, my hands gripping his shoulders. And I realize what a huge part of my life this boy is already, I can’t imagine being without him.

“I love you too,” I whisper.

And then we’re holding each other tight again, and kissing until we’re breathless and panting and I feel as though I’m drowning in him.

The sound of my mom clattering in the kitchen makes us remember where we are, and we break the kiss at last.

“I should go,” he says, not moving, my arms still around him.

“Okay,” I sigh, finally letting go of him. 

He brushes my lips with his; a last, soft kiss. “See you tomorrow,” he says.

I watch him go, elated but terrified too. Loving Riley makes me feel impossibly vulnerable. I’ve already learned the hard way that the more people you love, the more people you have to lose. He turns the corner and is out of sight. I stand for a moment, looking at the empty street outside, then turn and go back into the house and pull the door shut behind me.

XOXOXOX

The next hour of my life is one of the most bizarre I’ve ever spent.

I sit on the couch, in the house where I’ve grown up. My mom sits beside me and holds my hand while she turns my whole world on its head.

_Things which I believed to be legend are facts rather than myths._

_Vampires are real._

_My sister is a shape shifter._

_There’s every chance that I am too._

__It’s so ridiculous, so insane, that I wonder whether I’m dreaming, or whether my mother is mentally ill. I’ve read about conditions that can cause paranoia, delusions, hallucinations. I consider whether it’s possible that this is what’s going on here.

I can’t believe that my mom, this normal, previously sane woman is telling me that some people in our tribe have the ability to shape shift -- to become giant wolves at will. That the ‘cold ones’ in our tribal legends really _do_ exist and are what others call vampires. That the destiny of those Quileutes who have the power to phase into wolves is to seek and destroy these blood-sucking creatures. 

My rational brain furiously tries to deny it -- to reject it as ridiculous, laughable. 

But I remember things that make me uncomfortable, things that piece together in my mind. There are things that in isolation, I could ignore as irrelevant. But in combination they knit and meld into something that feels too real to ignore.

_The way that the Cullens have always made me uneasy._

_The sudden cluster of deaths and disappearances so close to my home._

_The unexplained sickness that’s been striking down the young members of my tribe._

_The way that Sam vanished into the woods yesterday leaving his shoes and a trail of tattered clothing behind._

__My mind is reeling with information as my mom slowly and carefully fills me in, explaining everything to me as I struggle to get my head around it.

Although the Cullens are vampires, they’re not believed to be a threat. They live around humans but never feed on them, choosing to hunt animals instead and ignore their thirst for human blood.

The deaths and disappearances in recent weeks are thought to be due to a feral vampire coven currently passing through the area. Their presence and activity are what has triggered the Quileute wolf gene that can lie dormant for generations. 

When she finishes talking I let my fingers slip from her grasp and put my head in my hands, leaning my elbows on my knees, my mind whirling. I feel dizzy, shivery and my forehead is hot and damp with sweat.

And I know.

I know that what my mom is saying is true, and it’s already happening to me. I can feel it surging inside me, in my veins and nerves and muscles. And I don’t want this; I don’t want any of it. I just want to be a normal boy and have a normal life and it’s _not fucking fair_. 

“I’m going to be next,” my voice is hoarse. “Riley said I was hot earlier, I’ve been feeling odd... anxious, jumpy. It’s happening to me, Mom.”

I feel the tears spilling through my fingers before I realize that I’m crying. Mom holds me, her arms tight around me as I lean on her and gasp great ugly tearing sobs that shake me apart. 

When I have no tears left in me Mom gently releases me and picks up her phone.

“Sam,” her voice is strangely calm. “You need to come for Seth.” ****

****  
**Chapter 9  
**  
By the time Sam gets back, my sadness has turned to anger. 

I’m rippling with tension, unable to keep still. I’m pacing the floor, my muscles tight, riding waves of unfamiliar energy that pulse through me. My scalp crawls and goosebumps prickle all over my body.

Sam arrives panting, wearing just a pair of shorts. He takes one look at me and nods.

“You did the right thing by calling me, Sue.” He turns back to me and says calmly. “Seth, I need to get you outside.”

“No,” I shake my head, fighting with this thing inside me. “No, I don’t want this. I’m not going to let it happen to me.”

“Seth,” Sam’s voice is gentle, but there’s an unmistakable tone of command there too. “This isn’t something that you can choose. It’s part of who you are.”

“But I don’t want to be like this.” My voice breaks and I feel tears of frustration in my eyes. 

“None of us chose this, Seth,” Sam’s eyes are serious, sympathetic. “But it isn’t all bad. You’ll see. But now you need to come with me. If you phase in here you’re going to trash your mom’s house.”

Sam exudes authority and I find myself unable to argue with him anymore. He leads and I follow -- out of the door, across the patch of grass behind my house and into the trees beyond. 

It’s early evening now and the sun is low in the sky, slipping behind stripes of cloud and casting a golden light. I’m hyper aware of everything around me, the scratch of the grass beneath my bare feet, the scents of the forest, the pound and pulse of the blood in my veins. 

“Strip,” Sam orders me, shucking off his own shorts and standing naked beside me.

I look at him blankly for a moment.

“Strip, unless you want your clothes to be ruined.”

I remember the trail of denim yesterday and realize what he means. I shiver again, terrified at the thought of what’s about to happen to my body. But I obey him, peeling off my clothes and folding them roughly, leaving them at the base of a tree where I’ll be able to find them later. 

Now I’m outside, my body exposed, it’s as though the beast inside me knows that it’s time. Despite everything, I feel a thrill of excitement as I finally give into it and let the ripples of energy come faster now, peaking and surging, exploding inside me as my body starts to change. Time is telescoped as I fall onto my hands and knees, my bones stretching, muscles lengthening, my body growing impossibly larger. The burst of fur as it shoots from my skin is like being doused with warm water and then it’s over. In the blink of an eye I’m no longer a boy. 

I raise my heavy head and shake it experimentally then meet the eyes of the giant black wolf in front of me. I inhale through my nose and am assaulted by sensation. I sniff again, overwhelmed by the richness of the scents that fill my nostrils, my sensory landscape utterly altered along with my body. 

_Welcome to the pack, Seth._

__I start as I hear Sam’s voice in my mind. _What the fuck?_  
 _  
This is how we communicate._ It’s as though Sam has a direct line into my brain. _Come now, it’s time to find the rest of them._

__I resist for a moment when the black wolf turns and starts to move, but find myself compelled to follow.

And then we run.

We burst through the trees in a joyous blur of movement, leaping over logs and ditches. The thrill of the speed and power of my new body is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I exult in it, pushing my limits, exhilarated and amazed. _Fuck, this is incredible_.

_I told you it’s not all bad_. Sam’s voice is amused. _  
_  
I put on a burst of speed and catch up with him, falling into pace beside him. And as we run, other voices greet me, welcoming me.

_Hey, Seth. Welcome_. Jared’s is the first I hear. _  
_  
 _About time,_ I recognise Embry’s teasing tone. _  
_  
 _How far away can we hear each other?_ I ask Sam. _  
_  
_A long way_ , he replies. _Miles, but only when we’re in wolf form._

_Can you stop it?_ I ask, thinking that it must be strange knowing everyone else’s inner thoughts all the time. _  
_  
 _You can try, but it’s not usually very effective._ Sam informs me. _It’s difficult to control your thoughts and there’s no way of hiding them once they’re happening._

__I immediately think of Riley. In my arms, in my bed. _Fuck._

_It’s okay, Seth_. Embry’s voice is back in my head, full of amusement. _We all know, we knew as soon as Jake phased after he saw you together.  
_  
I freak out a little, my thoughts confused, disturbed.

_Nobody cares_ , Leah reassures me. _We have bigger things to worry about, little brother._ Her tone is light, teasing. _Blood-suckers preying on humans in our territory trumps you coming out of the closet._

__I hear them all laugh; but the laughter is kind, not mocking.

I catch their scent before I see the others, and I know that Sam and I have nearly reached our destination. We break through the trees into a clearing by a rocky outcrop, and find the pack waiting there for us on the crest of a hill. Four of them, looming huge against the darkening sky. 

_Any sightings tonight_? Sam asks. _  
_  
A huge russet colored wolf that I immediately know is Jake replies. _No, we picked up the scent of two of them. The red-haired bitch and her mate, the dark skinned man. They’ve been in the woods between La Push and Forks recently but there was no sign of them. We tracked them up to the cliffs above La Push but lost their trail._  
 _  
They probably went into the ocean from there_ , Sam sounds frustrated. _They know we can’t track them underwater._ He turns and addresses me directly. _There are three of them, nomad vampires who have been in our territory for weeks now. They’re taking people and feeding on them. But they’re clever. They’re aware of our presence and know how to evade us. We’ve managed to catch glimpses of the three of them, but that’s all. The two that Jake saw earlier are mated, a woman with red curly hair and a man with dark skin and long dreadlocks. The other one is also a man. His hair is long too, but straight and blond._

__I nod my head, paying attention.

_Jake_ , Sam turns again. _Take Leah and Seth with you. Go and patrol the coast to see if they come back on land. Find their scent so Seth can learn to recognize it. Teach him what he needs to know. We’ll go inland and see whether we can pick up the scent of the blond one._

_Okay,_ Jake nods his huge head. _Let’s go.  
_

XOXOXOX

Hours later we finally get back to the Res. I race Jake and Leah back through the forest, tired now but my muscles are still strong. Leah is the fastest of the three of us and she revels in it, taunting us as she leaps ahead and we strive to keep up with her. 

We didn’t see any of the feral vampires but I’ve been introduced to their scent. The sickly stench still lingers in my nostrils, unnaturally sweet and cloying. Now I know what to look for when I’m on patrol.

We phase back when we reach the woods behind our house. My human body feels small and unfamiliar as I adjust, stretching my limbs and rolling my shoulders as I stand on two feet again. The cool night breeze on my skin reminds me that I’m naked and I move quickly to find my clothes, averting my eyes from Jake and my sister, my cheeks heating.

I pull on my clothes, while they do the same. They explained to me earlier how they carry the essentials with them when they’re in wolf form. Now I understand why Jake and Sam are never fully dressed anymore. Leah moves to stand beside me, dressed in shorts and a tank top. 

“Let’s go,” she says. Her voice sounds odd now when she speaks aloud, after hours of hearing her directly in my thoughts. But I feel relief when I realize that now my thoughts are my own again, for a while at least. 

We step out of the forest together.

“Good night,” Jake raises a hand and his teeth gleam as they catch the small amount of light from a streetlamp nearby. “Sleep well.” 

We let ourselves into the house quietly. My body is heavy now, the exhaustion bone deep. But my stomach growls, demanding food, and I remember that I haven’t eaten for hours. Leah follows me into the kitchen and we rifle through the cupboards and refrigerator.

“Phasing makes you super hungry,” Leah comments as I pile my plate high with sandwiches.

“Poor Mom,” I grin. “She already used to complain about how hard it was feeding two teenagers. Now she has two wolves to feed instead.”

Leah snorts and I find myself laughing. Once I start I can’t stop, it’s a release of tension and I laugh until my belly hurts and my eyes stream. 

When I finally stop Leah’s looking at me. “It wasn’t _that_ funny,” she rolls her eyes.

“I know,” I shrug. “I think I just needed something to laugh at.”

She nods and starts to eat.

Halfway through my plate of sandwiches a thought occurs to me. “How come you’re the only female so far?”

Leah stiffens and her fingers grip her sandwich reflexively, squeezing the filling out so that a slice of cucumber escapes and falls onto her plate.

“It’s not supposed to be possible for females,” she doesn’t look at me as she speaks. “I’m quite the freak apparently. Took everyone by surprise.”

There’s another question I want to ask her. I picked up some thoughts from her and Sam earlier, not quite fully-formed so I’m still confused and I want her to explain it to me -- but I don’t want to upset her. I can’t see a way around it though; I need to know. 

“Leah,” I say carefully. My tone of voice makes her look at me, dark eyes wary. “What happened with you and Sam...is it related to the whole wolf thing?”

A muscle clenches in her jaw and she nods, keeping her eyes on mine, raising her eyebrows as she speaks. “Hasn’t Sam explained _that_ part to you yet?” Her voice is bitter. “It’s just one of the many joys of being a shifter apparently. Another choice that gets taken away from us.” 

“What do you mean?” I feel cold fear trickling into me now. I think of Riley just a few hours before, and the expression on his face when he told me that he loves me. 

“Wolves mate for life.” She looks away and digs her fork viciously into a slice of tomato. “But our choice of mate is made by our instincts, not our conscious minds. It’s called imprinting.”

I frown, struggling to understand. “I thought that was like baby ducks and their mothers?”

“Yeah,” she huffs out a sarcastic laugh. “So did I. But that’s what the elders call it. It’s in the legends about all this crazy wolf stuff. Basically once you become a shifter, when you see your imprint -- that’s it. It’s like love at first sight times a billion. I never stood a chance once Sam set eyes on Emily.” Her anger slips and real pain shows in her voice. “The worst part of it is that I know he pities me.”

I watch the tears fill Leah’s eyes and my heart hurts for her. But at the same time, selfishly, I can’t help wondering what this means for Riley and me.

“Does it happen to everyone? The imprinting thing?”

“It’s too early to know,” she shrugs. “It’s happened to Sam, and Jared... but for him it was simple.” She swipes angrily at her eyes, wiping the tears away.

“Kim?” I say.

Leah just nods.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. 

I let the subject drop. But as I get ready for bed my head is reeling. There’s so much to process I don’t know where to begin. My mind rebels and refuses to work through any of it right now. As soon as my head hits the pillow my eyes close and despite the whirling confusion of my thoughts, sleep comes impossibly quickly.

XOXOXOX

The buzz of my phone wakes me the next morning. The light outside tells me that I’ve overslept. When I fell into bed last night I hadn’t even thought about setting my alarm for school. I guess on three hours sleep I’m better off staying at home today anyway.

I reach for my phone, knocking it onto the floor and cursing before I manage to snag it and pull up the message. It’s from Riley.

_Are you ok?_

_I’m sick, staying home today._ I reply. _  
_  
 _Feel better soon, I miss you_

_I miss you too,_ I type back, my heart heavy. I want to see him so badly. _  
_  
I lie back again and look at the ceiling, my eyes tracing the familiar patterns of cracks and uneven plasterwork. I’m still exhausted and desperate for more sleep, but now that I’m awake I can’t switch my thoughts off. There are so many questions that I still need answers to.

I heave myself out of bed and into the shower. I feel almost human again after the warm water has soothed me for a while. I chuckle wryly to myself at the irony -- _almost human_. That’s pretty much exactly what I am now. 

I find Mom in the kitchen doing some dishes. She takes one look at me and strips off her rubber gloves and comes over and hugs me. 

“How are you?” She asks gently.

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “Confused... exhausted.”

“Leah got up and went into school, but I called in sick for you, I was hoping you’d sleep in.”

“Riley texted me to see where I was, woke me up.” My voice catches in my throat.

“Sam called a little while ago, he said for you to come by his place once you were awake.”

“Okay,” I nod. I hope that Sam will be able to give me some more answers.

I grab some cereal and fill a bowl, covering it with milk. My body is hungry again, although I take no pleasure in eating. I go through the motions until the bowl is empty.

XOXOXOX

Sam lets me in when I knock on his door. His house is filled with the smell of baking. 

“Come through to the kitchen,” he says. 

Emily’s taking a tray of muffins out of the oven as we enter. She places them down on the surface and turns to greet me. 

“Hey, Seth.” She smiles and I try not to stare in horror at her face. It’s disfigured by deep parallel gashes that run from her eye to the corner of her mouth. The wounds are healing, scabbed over but obviously recent.

“Hi, Emily,” I feel awkward. She’s clearly living here with Sam now, and I feel as though I’m betraying Leah by being here.

“I’ll leave these to cool, help yourselves. I need to go to the store, we’re out of bread.” 

“Okay, baby,” Sam touches her unmarked cheek gently as she passes us. “See you later.”

We sit at the kitchen table once she’s gone, facing each other. Sam leans back in his chair and waits for me to speak.

“Who am I allowed to tell about this?” 

It’s the question that that’s burning in my brain ever since I found out what I am. 

Sam holds my gaze before replying. “The elders know already. And the families of the wolves can be told, and the imprints. No one else.”

“Not Riley?”

Sam shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Seth. But no.”

“But how can I keep this from him?” It feels impossible. This secret is too huge, it changes everything.

“You’ll have to find a way,” Sam’s voice is serious, uncompromising. “But maybe...” he pauses and sighs. “Maybe you need to stay away from him. At least for a while.”

“No,” my voice is harsh. “No way. He’s really important to me, Sam.”

“Leah was really important to me.” Sam’s face is full of regret and my heart twists in my chest. “Maybe it would be better for both of you if you stop seeing him now.”

“I can’t,” I say flatly. “I love him, Sam.”

“I loved your sister.” His eyes burn into mine and I believe him. “But Seth, even if you don’t imprint on someone else, you’re taking a huge risk by being with him. You saw Emily’s face. I did that to her. We’re dangerous, Seth. A moment’s loss of control is all it takes. Do you really want to take that chance if you’re able to walk away from him?”

Sam’s face is full of pain and guilt and I can see how tortured he is by what he did to Emily, his mate, his imprint. I imagine how I would feel if I hurt Riley and I feel nauseated, helpless, furious. I clench my fists as the tension ripples through me, the beast inside me trying to break free. 

“You feel it now don’t you?” Sam says. “And even when you’ve had more practice there will be times when it’s almost impossible to control the urge to phase.”

I focus on my breathing, in and out, slow and steady. I picture Riley in my mind and remember the sound of his heartbeat. I can do this. I won’t let this beat me.

“I’m fine,” I growl through gritted teeth. 

Painfully slowly, the urge passes and I gradually relax. Sam’s still watching me carefully, a small smile on his face.

“Well done,” he says.

I spend the rest of the morning with Sam. We go into the woods again and he teaches me how to reach within myself and tap into the energy inside me, so that I can phase instantly and effortlessly. He also teaches me more strategies for suppressing the urge when required. He doesn’t say much, but I can tell that he’s impressed with the control I exerted over my nature earlier. 

We don’t talk about Riley again. I don’t want to push it and make him forbid me to see him. Sam, as the alpha of the pack, has total authority over me. I don’t want to give him cause to use it to force Riley and me apart. 

I go back home for lunch. Mom’s out, she’s left me a note saying she had to go into work today but will see me this evening. There’s a council meeting, which we’ve been asked to attend -- the elders, the wolves and their families will all be there. 

I go back to bed for the afternoon. I manage to sleep despite everything. In my dreams I’m running through the forests in wolf form, chasing Riley’s scent. Every now and then I catch a glimpse of him through the trees but he’s gone before I can reach him. 

My phone wakes me up for the second time that day, as it rings and pulls me out of my confusing dreams.

“Hey,” I say sleepily.

“Hi,” it’s Riley. “Sorry -- did I wake you?” He sounds contrite. 

“Yeah, but it’s okay,” I smile, glad to hear his voice.

“I’m on the bus, I miss you,” he says. “Can I come over?”

I hesitate for a moment. “Better not,” I say. I’m desperate to see him but I’m not sure I’m ready to face him yet. I don’t know how I can act normally around him when I have this huge secret that I need to keep. “I’m still feeling pretty bad, I’d better sleep it off.”

“Okay,” the disappointment in his voice is clear. 

“I miss you too,” I whisper, and I feel like I might cry again. “I’ll call you when I’m feeling better.”

When he hangs up I have to resist the urge to fling my phone across the room in frustration.

XOXOXOX

We meet with the elders late in the evening. It’s a dry night so we gather outdoors, with a fire for warmth as the twilight fades to black. 

Billy Black is there in his wheelchair, sitting tall, flanked by Old Quil and Sam. All of the pack are here, along with their families. Emily and Kim are also present. I see Emily look nervously at Leah in the flickering light of the fire but Leah never once catches her eye, staring into the flames with her jaw set.

The pack leadership is discussed. Sam’s position as alpha is up for debate now that Jake has phased. As the direct descendant of Ephraim Black, by rights the role of alpha should be Jake’s. But he’s happy with Sam’s leadership and has no desire to challenge him. Sam accepts the responsibility and the meeting moves on.

Sam reports back on vampire sightings and activity in the area. Everyone is despondent that we haven’t managed to catch any of them yet, but we’re still inexperienced. Sam’s confident that as our numbers grow we’ll gain the advantage. 

“Quil has the sickness now,” Old Quil informs us. “He’ll be joining you tomorrow night. The pack is growing almost by the day, and will continue to do so as long as vampires are a threat in the area.”

Billy speaks now. 

“Carlisle Cullen asked me to meet with him today. He called me and I went to see him at the hospital.” 

I feel the shift in atmosphere at the mention of the Cullen name. Jake stiffens beside me. If he were in wolf form his hackles would be up. I see Paul’s face darken as his brow pulls into a scowl.

Billy continues. “He’s asked us to consider an alliance with his family.”

A surge of muttering breaks out at this, surprise and shock on the faces around the fire. 

“Why?” Sam voices what everyone else is wondering. “Why do they think we would want to associate with their kind?”

“They have their own reasons for wanting to destroy the feral coven that are hunting humans around Forks. Their kind have a group of leaders called the Volturi who have taken it upon themselves to ensure that the existence of vampires is kept a secret. The Cullens are already on the Volturi’s radar because of their unusual lifestyle. The Cullens are eager to deal with this problem without attracting the attention of the Volturi and causing them to intervene.”

“Maybe there’s something to be said for working with them,” Sam says thoughtfully. “Co-operating with the Cullens can only make our task easier.” 

“No,” Jake’s voice is adamant. “I don’t trust them. They may only feed on animals, but it doesn’t change their nature.”

“I agree,” Paul jumps in quickly. “We don’t need them. We can do this on our own.”

Billy nods. “I warned Carlisle that an alliance would be unlikely.” He looks around again. “But you need to be aware that the Cullens are out hunting the feral blood-suckers too. They want the same as we do -- to destroy them. Even if we aren’t going to work together, it’s important that we don’t hinder each other. Now that they’re aware of our existence the Cullens are afraid that we may be a threat to their own safety.” 

“We may not like the Cullens,” Sam says. “But they’ve proven themselves safe around humans. As long as they abide by the terms of the treaty they have nothing to fear from us.” Sam looks around the fire, meeting the eyes of each pack member in turn. There’s no dissent, although Jake and Paul look less than happy. “You can give him my word on that.” **  
**  
**  
Chapter 10  
**  
Later that night I’m lying in my bed unable to sleep. I’ve been let off patrol as I was almost dozing off by the end of the council meeting. But typically, now that I’m actually trying to sleep, it eludes me.

My body is hot and damp with sweat. I toss and turn, getting twisted in my sheets. I think of Riley and press my face into the pillow, seeking his scent. The need to see him is so strong that it’s almost like pain. I can feel it scratching under my skin, crawling up my spine. 

I think about Sam’s words of warning. 

_Maybe you need to stay away from him._

_Maybe it would be better for both of you if you stop seeing him now._

_We’re dangerous, Seth. A moment’s loss of control is all it takes._

__I understand what Sam was saying to me, and my rational brain knows that his words make sense. But another part of me, something deep and instinctual won’t let me accept it. It feels like every cell in my body is burning with the need to be with Riley. I have to see him, to touch him, to hold him.

I can’t fight it any longer.

I throw off my covers and pull on a pair of jeans. I move silently through the sleeping house and let myself out of the front door without a sound. 

I run barefoot to Riley’s house and stand outside his window, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I give myself one more chance to change my mind and the seconds stretch out as I breathe rapidly, my hands clenched by my side, fear and need warring inside me.

Need wins.

I reach out a tentative hand and tap quietly on his window, holding my breath while I wait. When there’s no response I tap again, a little louder this time. 

This time I see movement as curtains are pulled back and Riley’s there, opening the window wide. Without pausing to think I’m climbing inside, the wolf gene making my body stronger than before, effortlessly agile even in human form. I land silently on the rug in his room and he’s there in front of me, right fucking there, and he’s smiling at me as the light from the streetlamp outside illuminates his face. I stare at him, frozen, entranced as something shifts inside me.

And just like that it happens. 

Riley changes from being important to me, to being all that matters.

“Oh my God,” I whisper, still unable to move. 

I know exactly what this is. There’s not a single doubt in my mind that I’ve imprinted on him. This is it for me now. He’s all I’m ever going to need, ever going to want. I wonder if he feels it too. How does it work for the ones that the wolf inside us chooses? 

“Seth.” My name is the merest breath on his lips as he stares back at me, his eyes huge in the near darkness.

And then he steps forward and curls a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me close so that our bare chests brush as he kisses me.

I’m shot through with joy, need and a wave of love so strong, it’s like nothing I’ve never felt before. The heady combination is so powerful that it takes my breath away. I wrap my arms around Riley and kiss him back, hot and hungry and desperate, and everything that I feel is reflected back at me in the gasp of his breath, the curl of his tongue, the clutch of his hands. 

It’s incredible and wonderful, but it’s not enough. My hands are pushing his pajama pants down while his struggle with the fly of my jeans. I help him, fighting my way out of my clothing, pulling his pants down so he can kick them aside. 

I scoop him up, noticing that his weight is nothing to me now. If he’s surprised by my strength he doesn’t comment, just gasps and chuckles as I throw him down on his bed, making it bump against the wall and the springs squeak in protest.

“Shh!” he reprimands. “You’ll wake my mom.”

“Sorry,” I murmur, crawling over him, kissing him again. The exquisite sensation of his bare skin against mine setting my nerve endings alight. 

I run my hands over him, following their path with kisses, licks, the gentle graze of my teeth. I have to touch him, taste him, claim every inch of him as mine. He resists at first, reluctant to be passive, reaching for me, trying to pull me up the bed, asking for my cock in his mouth.

“No,” I growl, pushing him back into the mattress and holding his hands over his head. “I need to do this.” 

He submits, letting me do what I need to do, some part of him understanding what drives me even though none of this has been explained to him yet.

I feel his desire in the tension of his muscles as he lies taut beneath me, and in the pulse in his neck as I press my lips to his warm skin. 

I hear his desperation in the short gasps of his breath as I lick at his nipples, and the rapid, heavy beat of his heart as I pause with my head on his chest to listen. 

I taste his need in the urgency of his kisses, and in the slick saltiness at the tip of his cock as I lick and suck him.

I move lower still, spreading his legs wide with my hands, nuzzling the crisp hair at his groin and inhaling his sweet musky scent. He smells of sex and desire and it makes me dizzy with want. I lap at his balls, feeling their weight against my tongue and his fingers curl into my hair, scratching at my scalp. Lower still, I explore the sensitive skin behind his balls, driven by instinct, the need to possess. I push his knees back and tilt his hips, licking around the tight furl of his ass as he squirms against me and moans.

“Oh, fuck... Seth!” He hisses, bucking and arching beneath my hands. “You’re gonna make me come.”

I want him in my mouth so I use my thumb to tease his hole, wet from my spit as I take his cock in my mouth and suck him hard, taking him deep. His body tenses, hips jerking as he gasps and comes as I swallow around him and keep sucking until he twitches and pulls at my head. I let his cock slip from my lips and soothe it with gentle kisses as he shivers and strokes my hair.

He tugs gently, pulling me up to make me kiss him, his lips hot and insistent. 

My erection bumps against his cock and he pushes up against me, still half-hard. He slips a hand between us and grips me, tilting his hips and pushing my cock down so that it rubs behind his balls, into the crack of his ass. 

“ _Shit_.” I grit my teeth, thrusting gently, letting my cock slide against him, fearful of hurting him but wanting so much.

“I need to feel you inside me,” he whispers. 

“Oh, God,” I moan against his lips. “I want that too, but I don’t know how... we’d need stuff, condoms, lube... I don’t know.”

“We’re both virgins, we don’t need condoms.” His breath is warm in my ear, his lips brushing my cheek. “And I have lube.” 

He lies still beneath me now, waiting for me to reply.

“Okay,” I mutter. 

He pushes me off him so he can twist around and reach into the drawer beside his bed. He presses a bottle into my hands and lies back again, knees bent, thighs splayed wide. His trust overwhelms me.

I fumble with the bottle, terrified, desperate. I know the principle, but this is real. This is Riley and I don’t want to mess it up and hurt him. He helps me, opening the cap, slicking my fingers and his own. He uses his fingers first and then pulls my hand down, encouraging me. He shows me that it’s okay, that he wants this. 

He’s so hot inside, so tight. When I finally push inside and feel his body let me in, it’s all I can do not to come right away. Riley wraps his legs around my waist, pulling me in, not letting me be slow and careful. He hisses as I go deep but his cock is hard again, trapped between our bellies as I rock into him.

“I love you,” he mutters, gripping my hair and making me kiss him again, messy and wet. 

I push myself up, changing the angle and reaching between us to fist his cock. I know that I can’t wait long and I need him to come again. He whimpers as my fingers close around him, so hard under my hand. I slow my movements and concentrate on working his cock until his fingernails are digging in my hips, urging me on.

“Please,” his voice is quiet but urgent. “ _Please_... fuck me... I’m so close.”

I do as he asks. I would do anything for him. 

As soon as I start to move, thrusting deep and fast, I feel him clench around me as his cock pulses and throbs, coating my hand with his cum. 

The feeling of him coming apart around me tears my orgasm from deep inside me. I tense and shudder, barely managing to stop myself from crying out as I fill him, lost in an extraordinary, endless moment of ecstasy before I collapse, boneless, shattered.

I lose all track of time as I lie in Riley’s arms. I’m spent, sated, heavy with tiredness. The emotions and strange new experiences of the past two days have left me drained. Here in Riley’s arms I feel safe again for the time being. 

Nothing else matters when I’m with him.

But there are things I need to explain to him and I don’t know where to start. I separate myself from him reluctantly, slipping out of his body and reaching beneath his bed for the ever-present box of tissues. We clean ourselves up in silence. Riley’s unusually quiet, I get the feeling that he knows that something’s different. 

We settle back down in his bed and I lie on my side, facing him. Our legs tangle awkwardly together, knees bumping as we get comfortable. 

Riley looks at me, and he waits, his face expectant.

“There’s some stuff I need to tell you,” I begin. “This is going to sound really fucking weird, but I need you to hear me out.”

XOXOXOX

Twenty minutes later we’re still there. Riley hasn’t laughed at me, or freaked out, or called for men in white coats.

If I’m honest, I wasn’t really expecting him to believe me. If I hadn’t already been on the verge of phasing myself when Mom told me about all of this, I think I would have struggled to believe her. And I grew up on the Res, the legends were part of the tapestry of my childhood. 

But it turns out that Kathy Biers made sure that Riley grew up with the stories of the Quileutes too. Everything I tell him is familiar. But just as I did the day before, now he has to face the fact that the stories about the Cold Ones and our ancestors are real.

I was expecting that I might need to phase in front of him to prove it to him. And I was prepared to do it if I had to, I even offer.

“I can show you if you want,” I meet his eyes, needing him to believe me beyond doubt.

“You don’t have to,” he shrugs a shoulder. “I know it sounds crazy, but I know you’re telling me the truth. I can _feel_ it...” he pauses. “I can’t explain it.” Then he grins. “I want to see it soon though because it sounds pretty fucking cool.”

I smile back. “It has its good points.”

“I guess it could happen to me too?” He says thoughtfully. “I mean... if it’s genetic there’s a chance that I could have the gene too.”

“I suppose,” I say, surprised that the thought hadn’t occurred to me. “Well, we seem to be phasing left and right at the moment so if you’re a shifter too, I guess we’ll know soon enough.” I take his hand, squeezing it gently. It’s cool in mine. “You don’t feel hot yet.”

“You’re still really warm,” Riley brings his other hand to my forehead, smoothing my hair away from my brow.

“Yeah, it’s a wolf thing,” I nod. “Our body temperature stays high, it’s not just before we phase for the first time. It’s permanent.”

“I can get used to it,” he grins.

I take a deep breath. “There’s something else I need to explain about shifters. And this affects you too.” 

I’m scared now. How do you explain imprinting? What if he doesn’t feel it too? But I have no option other than to trust him. So I find the words, stumbling over them a little while he holds my hand and keeps his eyes fixed on mine. 

When I stop talking he squeezes my hand again, holding it close to his chest. “Something changed for me too tonight.” His voice is soft but serious. “I loved you before, Seth. You know that. But now...” he shakes his head. “I don’t know how to say it without sounding ridiculous and corny... But I just _know_ that this... us... it’s somehow meant to be. Does that make sense?” His eyes leave my face for the first time and I know that if I could see the color of his cheeks he’d be blushing.

I release his hand and touch his face instead. “Yeah,” I whisper leaning in to kiss him. “It does.”

It makes perfect sense of course. And I’m so fucking relieved that it’s the same for him, that something about this whole fucked up situation can really be this easy. Riley sighs as he moves closer, his arms slipping around me as our lips press together, warm and sweet. The kiss feels like a promise of forever and my heart is so full I can hardly breathe.

I stay with Riley until the grey light of dawn starts to filter into his bedroom. We doze a little in between exchanging kisses and soft touches, whispered words of love and wonder at what we have together. The bond between us may be supernatural, but it feels so right, so perfect. I’ve never felt so happy.

I reluctantly tear myself away from him before the sun rises and he lies naked on his bed, watching me as I pull my jeans back on. I kiss him one more time before I climb silently out of his window. When I turn back to look I can see him watching me, his face pale in the half-light of the early morning. I raise my hand and he waves back. 

I shuck off my jeans again and fall into my cold bed and I’m asleep within minutes. My sleep is blissfully dreamless for a change.

XOXOXOX

“Seth?” My mom pokes her head around the door. 

“Mmph,” I manage, my face pressed into the pillow as I’m unwillingly dragged into wakefulness. 

“Sorry to wake you, but I’m just on my way out to work. Sam called; he says to go over to the body shop once you’re awake. I’ve called school to say you’re sick, but that you’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I roll onto my back and squint at her, the light from the open door too bright. “What time is it?”

“Eight thirty,” she replies. “Go back to sleep for a while.”

“I’ll try. Bye Mom.” 

I roll over onto my side and pass out for another couple of hours. 

Hunger wakes me eventually and I drag my ass into the shower before dressing and going into the kitchen to eat. A giant bowl of Captain Crunch later I’m feeling ready to face the day.

XOXOXOX

When I finally make it over to Sam’s workshop I find him lying under a car, just his long legs visible. 

“Hey, Sam,” I greet him and he rolls himself out from under the vehicle and jumps to his feet with a smile.

“Hi, Seth, how are you doing?” The casual question means so much more than it normally would. 

I get straight to the point. “I went to see Riley last night.” Sam frowns slightly so I press on, getting to the important part. “I imprinted Sam. Riley’s my... imprint, soulmate... whatever you want to call it.” 

Sam just looks at me, his face shocked. I’d half expected him to ask me if I was sure and was ready to be pissed at him. But he doesn’t. I suppose that since he’s imprinted too, he knows how it feels, and knows that it’s utterly unmistakable.

“I didn’t think it would be possible,” he shakes his head, confused. “We’d assumed that imprinting was about finding your mate, something to do with reproducing, passing on the gene.”

I shrug. “Well, I’m sorry to let the pack down, but Riley and I aren’t going to be producing a litter anytime soon, Sam.” 

He snorts out a surprised sound of amusement. “No, I guess not. Well, it just goes to show that there’s so much that we don’t understand about this. Maybe we’ll never understand the half of it.” He pauses. “So, have you told him?”

“Yes,” I reply. “You said that the imprints all know, so I knew it was okay.” I know that if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t have been able to explain anything to Riley, having been ordered not to by my alpha. 

Sam gives me a small but genuine smile now. “Well I’m happy for you, Seth. And for Riley. I honestly would have hated for this to come between you.” 

His smile fades and sadness flickers across his features and I know that he’s thinking about Leah. But I let it pass. Now that I know how imprinting feels, I understand that Sam had just as little choice in this as Leah did. I wonder whether Leah will imprint on someone eventually. For her sake, I hope so.

XOXOXOX

Sam and I spend the rest of the day together. I help him out in the body shop for a while. I like messing around with engines even though I’m no expert. Sam gives me some simple jobs to do and teaches me some stuff that I didn’t know before. He’s patient, good company. I feel soothed by his presence as I focus on the work that we’re doing. 

He takes me back to his place for lunch and I eat with him and Emily. The connection between them is almost tangible, it’s as though they’re joined by an invisible thread. It makes me think of Riley, and I miss him. I can’t wait to see him after school.

Later, Sam and I go into the woods to phase and spend some time patrolling. I try and guard my thoughts, not wanting him to see the details of what happened with Riley last night. Not because I’m ashamed, but because that’s for me to know. I don’t want to share it. I focus instead on the scents of the forest invading my wolf senses, keeping my thoughts on what’s going on around me. 

We start south of the Res and run in a wide loop around the area. We can’t do a complete circle because we don’t want to cross the beach in broad daylight. About three quarters of the way around the loop I stiffen, my nose giving me very unwelcome news. Sam picks up my thoughts and is by my side in an instant, muzzle to the ground, sniffing intently.

_Vampire_ , Sam’s thoughts are angry. _This is the closest they’ve strayed into our territory._ _  
_  
We scout around the area, picking up the trail and follow it through the woods toward the Res.

_I don’t recognize this scent, Sam_. I say. _It’s not the redhead or her mate._

_No,_ Sam agrees. _This is the blond man. Learn his scent, Seth.  
_  
He shows me through his thoughts what the blond vampire looks like, so I can make the connection between his scent and his physical appearance. Pale skin, almost white; dirty blond hair and eyes as red as blood. A low growl rumbles in my throat that I have no control over as his image fills my head.  
 _  
_We follow the trail and I feel anger and repulsion flooding me as we see how close this monster has been to our homes, to our friends and families, to our loved ones. My hackles are raised as we reach the edge of the trees and the trail runs along the tree line for a while before looping back into the forest and away in the direction of Forks.

We follow it until we’re far enough away from the Res that we can be satisfied that our people are safe, for now. 

_What do you think he wanted?_ I ask Sam. _That scent was only a few hours old._ The thought of it makes me shudder. _  
_  
 _I don’t know._ Sam’s thoughts are dark, colored with concern. _If he’d been looking to feed then he was obviously disappointed. Maybe no one was around for him to take at the time that he was there?_

__Against my will an image flashes into my mind of the blond monster, pulling a window off its hinges, reaching in to take a sleeping child. I feel physically sick at how vulnerable our people are, how hard it is for us to protect them all. But I also think that if it were that easy for a vampire to take someone, why didn’t he? What else could he have been looking for, that he didn’t find this time?

_I don’t know, Seth. But I don’t like it either._ Sam’s reply is uneasy when he answers the thoughts that were never really meant to be questions. It does nothing to reassure me. ****

**Chapter 11  
**  
The next day I’m back at school. I can’t believe it’s only been two days; it feels like a lifetime. I pick up Riley on the way to the bus, sharing a brief kiss on his doorstep before we walk together. He tastes like toothpaste and smells of shampoo, his hair still wet from his morning shower. 

We stand close together while we wait in line for the bus, no longer trying to hide our relationship. From the curious looks that some of the other kids give us I know that word has probably gotten around. I never asked the pack to keep it to themselves, and Riley and I decided yesterday that we don’t care who knows now. 

On the bus I take his hand, and he smiles at me as I lace our fingers together.

At lunchtime, Riley’s already seated when I arrive and he grins and lifts a hand in greeting, indicating that he’s saved me the seat beside him.

“Hi, Seth,” he smiles at me as I join him at the table with my tray of food. 

“Hey,” I reply, pulling out the chair and sitting down. I smile and lean in a little, catching his eye and looking for a sign that it’s okay before I kiss him. He smiles back and slips a hand around my neck, pulling me closer so that our lips touch. It’s quick, innocent -- but an unmistakable message to anyone who’s watching. 

I pull back and start eating, carefully ignoring the muttering and giggles that I hear coming from other tables around the cafeteria. I really couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about us being a couple. 

“You two are sickeningly cute together,” Leah’s voice makes me look up. She’s sitting opposite us, with Jake beside her. Her voice is teasing but it lacks the bitterness that I’ve become accustomed to. She looks at us almost wistfully. 

I told Leah and Mom yesterday evening about imprinting on Riley, and when I went out on patrol the rest of the pack knew immediately. We have no secrets. They also know a little too much about my sex life because I’m really bad at not thinking about it. I blush, knowing that Jake and Leah know things I’d rather they didn’t. 

We talk about school stuff while we eat, careful not to discuss our new secret life where someone could overhear. Embry joins us a little later, along with Jared and Kim. Kim sits beside Leah but they’re visibly awkward around each other, with long pauses in the conversation. 

I scan the cafeteria and realize that the Cullens aren’t here today. It’s a sunny day with clear skies. Now, of course, I understand why they take days off to go hiking when the sun is out from behind the usual cloud cover of Forks. 

I notice Bella stuck on the end of a table looking obviously uncomfortable. Mike Newton’s sitting next to her and her body language is screaming ‘fuck off’ at him. Jessica Stanley is opposite them giving Bella the evil eye.

Bella keeps looking over at Jake, but he’s resolutely ignoring her. Leah seems to notice Bella too and she keeps Jake engaged, asking him about some homework they have for their History class. Once they’ve finished eating, Leah drags Jake off to the library in search of a book they need and I see that the other people at Bella’s table are leaving. She’s still sitting there picking listlessly at a half eaten piece of pizza.

I put my hand on Riley’s arm. “I’m gonna go talk to Bella for a minute,” I say.

“Okay,” he nods. “I’ll wait here for you, then we can go to Math together.”

Bella looks up as I approach and she looks nervous, guilt flashing across her pale features. But she lifts her chin and meets my eyes.

“Hey, Seth.” 

“Hi,” I take the seat opposite her, leaning forward to talk quietly. “No Edward today then?” I raise my eyebrows in an unspoken challenge.

“Nope,” she bites her lip. “Look I know what you’re thinking... but Jake and I have only ever been friends. I _never_ lied to him, Seth.”

“I know, Bella,” I say. “But he deserves more than being pushed aside completely just because Edward’s back. If you’re friends you owe him that much. And why the fuck have you gone straight back to Edward anyway after the way he treated you? Don’t you have any pride at all?”

She flushes and looks down, the words obviously stinging. “I’m truly sorry that I’ve hurt Jake. Really... and I want to be his friend. But it’s complicated,” she murmurs.

“You bet your ass it’s fucking complicated.” I snap at her. The sickly sweet scent of vampire fills my nostrils; it’s all over her. I wonder if she has any clue about who Edward really is... or _what_ he is. About how much danger she’s putting herself in every time she’s close to him. “You have no idea how complicated.”

She looks at me appraisingly. “I do know,” she says calmly. “And I know what you are too, and Jake, and the others. Edward’s told me everything. I knew what he was before he went and I didn’t care. I love him anyway and I don’t believe that he would ever hurt me.” Her voice is quiet but crystal clear, determined. 

I snort, disbelieving. “How can you be sure? It’s his nature, Bella.”

She glares at me as she replies. “Edward left precisely _because_ he was afraid of hurting me. He thought it was what was best for me... safest for me. Everything that he’s done has been about keeping _me_ safe. I might not agree with him about that, and I’m angry that he left and didn’t give me a choice,” she frowns. “But it happened, and now that he’s back we both need to deal with that. He came back because of everything that’s been happening. He only wants to protect me, Seth.”

“Maybe,” I say. “But all it takes is one mistake.”

“I love him,” her eyes plead with me to understand. “You know what that feels like Seth. I know you do.”

I can’t argue with her, and I know that she’s right. Jake never stood a chance and she never lied to him about that; he just couldn’t help hoping for more.

“But how can you ever really have a future with Edward?” I challenge her. “How can it possibly work?”

She flushes and looks guilty, her eyes slipping away from mine again. “We’ll find a way.”

“Oh no,” I whisper, realizing what she’s thinking. Sam’s explained the process to me as part of my crash-course in all things vampire. “He wants to change you?” 

“ _No_ ,” she denies it vehemently. “It’s _my_ idea. I want it, Seth. Edward doesn’t want to do it. But I’m trying to make him see that it’s the only way he can keep me safe.”

I shake my head, feeling sick at the thought of Bella willingly giving up her human life, choosing to be a monster. “I have to go.” I push my chair back abruptly. 

I need to calm down, I can feel the familiar ripples of tension that tell me I’m close to losing control. Phasing in the school cafeteria is not an option. I have to get away and calm down.

Bella puts her hand on my arm as I pass her, heading back to Riley. “Tell Jake I say hi,” she says as I pause beside her. “I’ll call him, and try to come over sometime and hang out... but Edward’s worried that Jake’s a threat to me.”

I snort. “Seriously? That’s just so fucking ridiculous after the conversation that we’ve just had.” I shudder, and feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “I really have to go.”

I see that Riley’s looking at me and I gesture with my head toward the door. He grabs my bag for me and comes over, concern on his face when he sees my expression.

“Bye, Seth,” Bella calls after me. “Please, just tell Jake for me... yeah?”

I’m too busy focusing on not turning into a giant wolf to reply.

XOXOXOX

The weekend passes in a blur of activity, my new responsibilities as part of the pack taking up way too much of my time. What with trying to fit some sleep into the equation, it’s hard to find much time to spend with Riley. Jared has similar issues with Kim and we both envy Sam, who at least lives with Emily so any spare time that he has, he gets to be with her. 

The hurt and pain in Leah and Jake’s thoughts when we’re in wolf form affect everyone. The pack mind is a curse when we’re trying to hide our most personal thoughts and feelings. The tension between Sam and Leah is unbearable at times. We can all feel that Sam is doing his utmost not to think about Emily but every now and again his guard slips and we all get to see a glimpse of his devotion and happiness. Inevitably this is followed by a crushing wave of sorrow and rage from Leah, along with a lot of mental swearing. 

Jake and Leah have been spending time together between patrols when they’re in their human form. They seem to be supporting each other and Jake’s about the only person who can make her smile at the moment. It’s an improvement on a few days ago, but I miss the happy, care-free Leah that I used to know. I want her back.

Sam teams me up with Leah and Jake for patrol on Saturday and we run together, the mood lighter for now. Sam isn’t in our heads; he must be in human form, which gives Leah a break. Despite her bitterness and anger, Leah takes genuine pleasure in the power and strength of her wolf form. She’s the fastest of all the pack and is annoyingly competitive about it sometimes, but Jake and I humor her. It’s nice to feel pleasure and pride emanating from her for a change. 

We pick up the scent of the blond vampire just a mile or so north of La Push. I recognize it instantly, my sense memories overwhelmingly strong, and a growl rumbles in my throat. This is a new trail. He’s been close to our homes again. It’s fresh too.

_This is recent, he can’t be far._ I start to move, following the scent and the others fall in beside me. _  
_  
The trail is leading up toward the coast and we run as fast as we can, pushing our bodies to the limit. We break into a rocky clearing and my nose is assaulted by the scent of blood and vampire, the combination making my body flood with adrenaline. We stop for a split second, searching for the source.

The blond vampire is there, right in front of us in broad daylight, crouched over the inert body of a hiker. The sun is out from between the clouds and as it catches the bare skin of his shoulders I’m almost dazzled by the unnatural glittery sheen. He must pick up our scent or have heard our approach, because he lifts his head and snarls at us. His beautiful face is ugly with evil, smeared with fresh blood from the body beneath him. 

My gorge rises and I think that if I was in human form I’d vomit for sure. But my instincts to destroy, to finish this creature, take over. 

_Now!_ I feel the same thought from Jake and Leah, and as one we spring forward just as the vampire turns and flees. Leah manages to get a paw to him, her claws screeching on the marble-like skin of his back as he curses and puts on a burst of speed. He reaches the tree line and climbs high, where we can’t follow but we run beneath, snapping and snarling, wild with the desire to tear him into pieces. _  
_  
I’ve never felt such pure rage and hatred. Until the moment that I saw the blond vampire feeding on his prey, I still wasn’t sure if I could do it -- end the existence of another creature deliberately, violently. Sam had explained the brutal method of destroying a vampire to me, and I felt horror at the thought. But now... now that I’ve seen him and what he’s capable of, I know without a doubt that I’ll be able do it and feel nothing but satisfaction.

He’s clever. He knows that we can’t reach him in the treetops and he uses this to his advantage. We follow him to the cliff edge, helpless, knowing that we’ll be unable to catch him. But we want to see him leave our land, hoping that his obvious fear of us will keep him away in future. We watch in impotent rage as he reaches the last tree. He turns and waggles his fingers at us, taunting us with a smirk of his blood-stained face as he leaps. His body turns in the air and he dives gracefully into the waves far below, barely making a splash in the dark gray water. We could follow, but there’s no point. In water a vampire can move more than twice as fast as we can.

_Fucker_ , I hear Jake curse. _  
_  
 _That’s the second time he’s been so close to La Push_ , Leah’s thoughts are uneasy. __

__We follow his trail back to the clearing to check on the body of the hiker. It’s a man in his forties, almost entirely drained of blood. There’s nothing we can do for him now.

_Don’t move the body, we’ll have to report this to Chief Swan_ , Jake says. _He’ll want to come and check the area, do it officially. Not that it’ll do any good._

__We carry on following the trail of the blond vampire back to where I first caught his scent. Then we track it back further to see where else he’s been.

_Fuck_ , I curse as the trail leads us closer and closer to the Res. Just like on Thursday, the trail ends at the tree line but follows the edge of it for a while, as though he’s been lurking, watching, waiting for something... or someone. At one point his trail passes within a couple of hundred yards of Riley’s house and I snarl, furious at the thought of this monster being so close to my boy. _  
_  
_I don’t like this at all_ , Jake growls as his thoughts fill my head. _What does he want?_ Neither of us attempts to answer him. _  
_  
_Come on, let’s go._ I say, despondent at our failure to catch the blood-sucker. _We’d better go report back to Sam._

__

XOXOXOX

I don’t see Riley at all on Saturday. We talk on the phone in the evening after I get back from patrol. I want to go over and see him, but he tells me I have to sleep and I know that he’s right. I’ve hardly had more than three hours sleep a night since I phased for the first time. We agree to hang out for a while tomorrow. I’m on patrol again on Sunday night so plan to sleep in as late as I can and see Riley in the afternoon. 

I text him as soon as I wake.

_I’m up, just gotta eat then can I c u?_

_Sure, been out for a run, will jump in the shower now. Come over whenever._

__My mind immediately fills with thoughts of Riley in the shower, wet and naked... _Fuck_. It’s only been a few days since we had sex but it’s too fucking long. My cock twitches hopefully, but I don’t have time to jack off. The sooner I get over there, the sooner I can have his hand on my dick instead, or maybe his mouth. 

He lets me in and I pull him straight into my arms. It’s almost embarrassing how much I’ve missed him, but he hugs me back tightly so I know that he feels the same. 

“Hi, Seth,” Kathy calls through the open door to the kitchen. 

I put her son down and go through to say hello and be polite. She smiles at us both and seems genuinely pleased to see me. Of course, she has no idea what’s been going on with me this week. She’s not on the council, and a decision is yet to be made about what -- if anything -- to tell the families of those that the wolves have imprinted on.

It’s actually nice to be treated like a normal teenage boy for a change. She offers us snacks and asks us if we’re going to be studying this afternoon.

I side-eye Riley. We were hoping to go and hang out in his room but I didn’t think to bring any books over. I know that she knows we’re together but I feel weird about being in his room without the excuse of homework.

“Actually, we were going to go hiking,” Riley says smoothly, before I have a chance to answer. “Seth’s going to show me some of the good trails. I might be able to use them for running once I know my way around better.”

I stiffen. There’s no way in hell I’m letting Riley go running around in the woods on his own at the moment. I need to make it clear to him just how dangerous that would be. I’m not sure he’s really grasped that yet, although he knows that it’s vampires that are responsible for the deaths and disappearances.

“That sounds like fun,” Kathy smiles, unconcerned. “Well, I’m going to go start make a dent in my ironing pile and watch some TV. I’ll see you boys later.”

“Hiking -- really?” I say once we’re alone in the kitchen. 

“If that’s okay?” He shrugs. “I really want to see you phase, you said you’d show me. Plus in the woods we’ll get to be alone.” His face flushes slightly and he smiles at me in a way that makes my pulse jump and my heart beat faster.

“You’ve obviously thought this through,” I grin at him. “Let’s do it!”

We walk together into the woods that border the Res and pick up a trail that heads north, parallel to the coast. I’m on alert, listening for any sound that might indicate danger. I feel uncomfortable in my human form, vulnerable. But my senses now are infinitely superior to what they were a couple of weeks ago, even when I’m not wolf-shaped. I know that if danger threatens Riley I can shift in the blink of an eye and protect him. 

We break away from the trail and head deeper into the forest, needing to be sure of privacy for both of the things that we have planned. 

Finally we reach a small clearing, underneath the spreading branches of a particularly ancient tree, and I turn to face him.

“Are you sure you want to see this?” I feel weird about showing him my wolf form. What if he’s horrified, repulsed, afraid? I couldn’t bear to see any of those emotions on his face if they were directed at me.

As though he knows exactly what I’m thinking, Riley steps forwards and puts his hands on either side of my face. His touch is cool, soothing. “It’s part of who you are, Seth. I need to see.” He leans closer and kisses my lips briefly. “I need to understand it.”

“Okay,” I nod, reassured by the love in his eyes, the certainty.

I shed my clothes and kick off my shoes. It feels strange standing naked in front of Riley when he’s fully-clothed. I step back, putting a little distance between us while he watches me intently.

I keep my eyes fixed on him as I reach inside myself, harnessing the power that’s hidden in every cell of my body and allowing the wolf inside to burst free. I keep my gaze on Riley as I feel my body explode and shift, a burst of energy surging through my nerves, veins, sinews. I fall forward onto my giant paws. Riley’s face shows wonder and awe, but no hint of any of the things I’d feared. 

“Oh my God,” he whispers, frozen, staring at me.

I stay still too, not wanting to move suddenly and alarm him. I inhale, his scent is concentrated, achingly familiar. I try and smile at him but I’m not sure if he’ll realize that’s what I’m doing when I give him a big goofy dog-grin. 

But his lips curve and then he’s laughing, a joyful sound that rings out through the trees and makes my heart lift. “That’s incredible... _you’re_ incredible.” He says and steps forward. “Can I touch you?”

I nod my head. _Of course_. 

He reaches tentatively and pushes his fingers into the thick fur on my forehead, scratching my scalp and it feels good. I make a happy rumbling sound in my chest and he brings his other hand to the scruff of my neck, patting and stroking me. I lean in, unable to resist the urge to sniff him properly and he chuckles as the huff of my breath tickles him. I lick his cheek before I can check the instinct and he laughs again.

“Okay, that’s just weird,” his voice is amused as he pulls back to look into my eyes. “But I guess I should be grateful that you don’t have dog breath.”

He’s grinning at me, his face open and happy, and my heart swells in my chest. I need to kiss him so I shift back, effortlessly slipping into my human form once more. He gasps in surprise and his hands fall away from me as I pull him into my arms, not caring that I’m naked. I kiss him deeply, insistently. Arousal builds quickly in me as he responds, his hand slipping down my back to grab my ass and pull me tightly against him.

“You,” I say between dropping determined kisses along his jaw and down his neck while tugging at his t-shirt. “Are way overdressed.”

He steps back and helps me pull his shirt over his head and together we deal with the fly of his jeans. He shucks them off, along with his boxers, and toes off his shoes so he can step out of the tangle of clothing at his ankles. 

He looks around nervously for a moment, “we’ll hear if anyone’s coming, right?”

“ _I_ will,” I promise him. “Heightened senses, remember?” 

“It’s so useful having a boyfriend with super powers,” he grins, grabbing my hips and pulling me back toward him so our cocks brush together.

I kiss him again, backing him carefully toward the tree until he can lean against the trunk, and then I drop to my knees to take his cock in my mouth. I’m hungry for him, licking and sucking greedily as he threads his fingers into my hair and urges me on.

“Oh, God... that feels so good,” he gasps, his fingers tightening their grip as I take him deeper, almost choking as he hits the back of my throat. I slip a hand between his thighs, palming his balls and pressing at the skin behind with my fingertips while I move my other hand to my own cock. I stroke myself hard and fast as Riley starts to moan and whimper, his hands painful in my hair, thighs quivering with tension. 

He comes with a strangled cry, his cock pulsing against my tongue as I feel the hot salt fill my mouth and the contraction of his muscles under my fingers. I swallow and carry on sucking, his taste filling my mouth, his musky scent surrounding me. His legs start to tremble and he pushes me off and sinks down until he’s sitting, his legs bent as I kneel between his thighs, my cock hard and aching in my hand. 

He reaches for me and pulls me closer, replacing my hand with his own, his grip firm as he takes over the movement. He hooks his other hand around the back of my neck and I move closer, leaning my forehead against his as we look down at the motions of his hand on my cock. I put my hands on his shoulders, bracing myself as my legs start to tighten. My muscles clench as pleasure courses through me, making my hips hitch and fingers grip his shoulders tightly until my cock spurts in his hand. My cum splashes on the forest floor, painting the dead leaves with white streaks.

When I’m finished we get to our feet, brushing the debris of the forest off my knees and Riley’s ass. I pull him into my arms and kiss him again, wishing we were somewhere with a bed, wanting nothing more than to be able to just lie down with Riley for a while and hold him. 

We pull our clothes back on and walk back, hand-in-hand, toward the trail. A hundred yards or so from the clearing I stiffen as I catch the now familiar scent of the blond vampire. I freeze, clutching Riley’s hand tightly as I look around, listening intently, ready to shift at the slightest sign that there’s a bloodsucker close by. 

Riley senses my urgency and says nothing but looks at me with alarm on his face. When I’m satisfied that there’s no immediate threat I turn to him. 

“A vampire’s been here recently.” I feel sick at the thought.

Riley’s eyes widen. “While we were back there?” His face is pale, eyes frightened.

I nod, clenching my jaw. “Yes.” I feel ashamed that the leech could have come so close and I didn’t notice. “He’s clever, he was downwind of us. He would have known I wouldn’t catch his scent from this distance. But he’s gone now.”

Riley shudders visibly and I pull on his hand and make him start walking, quickly now back to the trail.

“But why would he come so close?” He asks. “They know that you’re dangerous to them?”

“We’re not sure how much they know about us, maybe they’re trying to get close to us to find out more.” I realize the vampire couldn’t have been there when I phased. In wolf form I would have detected his presence even downwind. He must have been there afterwards. That makes sense, I think to myself ruefully. With Riley’s dick in my mouth I was hardly concentrating on a lot else. _What the fuck was I thinking?_

We walk the rest of the way home in silence, lost in our own thoughts. I squeeze Riley’s hand so tightly it can’t be comfortable but he lets me, squeezing back and rubbing my knuckles reassuringly with his thumb.

**Chapter 12  
** I’m ridiculously tired on Monday morning again. Patrol last night was uneventful, but long and tiring. I fell into bed in the small hours of the morning and it felt like I’d barely got to sleep when my alarm woke me for school.

Riley smiles sympathetically at me as I meet him at the bus stop, my eyes heavy with exhaustion. He takes my hand when I fall into place beside him and I lace our fingers together. A couple of younger boys look at us with scorn and amusement on their faces. But when I pull myself up to my full height and glare at them, they look away quickly, talking amongst themselves. _Little fuckers_ \-- let them look. I squeeze Riley’s hand and he returns the gentle pressure.

I struggle to stay awake in my morning classes; my concentration is shot to pieces and I know that my grades are going to suffer. But the importance of graduation is eclipsed by my new responsibilities. If failing in school is what it takes to keep my loved ones safe then it’s a small price to pay.

The Cullens are back today. It’s overcast and drizzly, ideal for vampires masquerading as humans. Their scent puts me off my lunch even though they’re on the other side of the cafeteria. 

Although I genuinely believe that the Cullens pose a minimal threat, my instincts won’t let me ignore them. My eyes keep flickering across to their table even though I try not to stare. Bella is back beside Edward. The happiness lighting up her face is bitter-sweet. I like Bella and I’m glad that she’s not hurting anymore, but then I look at the tension in Jake’s face when his eyes light on her and I feel his pain as though it’s my own -- even in our human form. 

Leah is sitting by Jake again and her face is sad as she looks at him. Once they’ve finished eating she puts a hand on his arm. 

“Do you wanna go to the library and study for that Bio test?” Her voice is kind, softer than I’ve heard it for days.

Jake smiles gratefully. “Yeah,” he nods. “Let’s go.”

I watch them leave, half-formed thoughts in my head.

“Will all the wolves imprint eventually?” Riley asks quietly and I know that his thoughts were taking the same direction as mine.

“Nobody knows,” I reply. There’s so much that we don’t know about any of this. All we can do is wait and see.

I catch the scent of vampire approaching and look up in surprise to see Edward Cullen coming toward our table. His eyes are fixed on me and his face is serious, but not threatening. He stops and his voice is clear as he speaks.

“Seth, I’d like to talk to you. In private.”

The request takes me by surprise. I’ve barely exchanged more than a few words with Edward before, and given the current situation I’m all the more confused about what he could possibly have to say to me. 

“Please,” he adds, seeming to sense my uncertainty.

“Okay,” I shrug. I know he’s no threat to me. I turn to Riley, “I’ll see you in History later, okay? Save me a seat.” We exchange smiles, the ever-present connection between us giving me a warm feeling in my chest as I look at him.

“Okay,” he nods, glancing curiously at Edward.

Edward leads me out of the cafeteria and through the school, out of a side door. The fresh air hits me, clearing my senses a little from his overpoweringly sweet smell. 

“This way.” I fall into step beside him as he heads for a line of trees and shrubs that border the football field. It’s a popular location for kids who want to smoke or make out in relative privacy. On a day like today it’s less likely to be occupied since the drizzle of the morning has turned into more persistent rain. I turn up the collar of my jacket a little too late, feeling the unpleasant trickle of rain down the back of my neck. 

“So, what do you want?” I turn and challenge Edward when we finally reach a dry spot under a tree. 

The light here is dim and Edward looks ethereally pale surrounded by the dark trees. It’s suddenly very easy to believe that he’s not human. His amber eyes are intent, almost hypnotic as he pauses for a moment, obviously choosing his words carefully.

“We want to help you,” he says.

“I know,” I reply. “The council discussed the possibility of an alliance, but it’s not going to happen.” 

Edward huffs a sigh of frustration. “I’m aware of that, but if you’re prepared to listen I can help you anyway. You need to know what you’re dealing with.”

I bristle at that. “We’re more than a match for you blood-suckers, Cullen. Don’t fucking patronize me.”

His eyes flash but his voice remains calm and controlled. “I know very well what you’re capable of, Seth. But the pack is young, inexperienced. You still haven’t had any direct contact with a vampire intent on doing you harm. If you’ll listen to me I can help you be better prepared for when that happens.”

I meet his gaze and see nothing there but honesty. “Okay,” I say. 

“Now?” he checks his watch. 

“I have study hall next, I can skip that -- you?”

“Biology,” he grins, his beautiful face illuminated by mischievous humor. “But with the amount of times I’ve been through high school I think I can get away with missing one class.”

I chuckle, surprised by this new side of Edward. “Yeah, I guess so.”

He explains a lot to me in a short time about how his kind attack, and where their weak points are. He talks about the things that will pose the most danger to the wolves and how to avoid getting into a position where a vampire can use their superior strength against us. I listen intently, making sure that I file away all the information to share with the rest of the pack. Edward even suggests that we could meet and spar for practice, but I’m not sure about that and I tell him so. I’m not convinced that either of us could suppress our instincts enough not to damage each other.

When he’s told me everything he can, I thank him. “I appreciate this, Edward. The pack will too.” 

He nods his head. “We all want the same as you. We want this coven gone, or destroyed. They’re a threat to our life here and to people we care about.

My mind flashes to Bella. I realize that of all the Cullens, Edward has the most motivation to ensure that the threat of the feral bloodsuckers is eliminated. He must be frightened for her. No wonder he keeps her by his side all the time. But I wonder how he ever managed to leave her if he loves her as much as she claims. I don’t think I could walk away from Riley even if I believed it was somehow best for him.

“You could, and you would,” Edward says, a sad smile twisting his lips. 

“What?” I reply, confused.

“You would leave him if you really believed it would keep him safe. I can see the bond between you and Riley, Seth. I know that you would do anything that it took to protect him.”

My mind is reeling. Was I talking out loud and not even realizing it? 

“No, you weren’t.” He looks at me, almost apologetically. “I guess now’s the time that I need to tell you that some vampires have special gifts, and I’m one of them.” 

“You can read my mind?” I recoil. Just like with the pack, as soon as I know that he can see into my head, all the things that I want to keep private are the ones that flood to the forefront of my mind. 

“Not just yours,” he shrugs. “Everyone’s. Well -- all apart from Bella’s which I still don’t understand but am incredibly glad about, as is she.” He chuckles wryly.

“You really believed she’d be better off without you?” I shake my head, images of Bella and the state that she was in while he was away.

“I did,” his face is stricken. “But I was wrong, and I know that now. I’m never going to let her go again.”

I think of Riley and can’t imagine how it would feel to have to be apart from him. I feel begrudging respect for Edward no matter how fucked up his decision might have been. 

“You really do love her, don’t you?” I say it, almost to myself.

“Bella is to me, what Riley is to you,” he says simply. “We may not call it imprinting, but she’s my mate, Seth. She’s everything.”

XOXOXOX

By the time we get off the bus at the end of the school day I’m dead on my feet. I don’t have to patrol this evening so will be getting a much-needed early night. I go back with Riley to his place for a couple of hours, eager for a little time alone with him -- it’s so much harder to come by now. 

His mom is out, but we’re not sure exactly when she’s due back so we make out in his room, keeping most of our clothes on just in case. We kiss until our lips are swollen, faces flushed. I lie back on his bed and he straddles me, hitching his hips in a rhythm that’s driving me insane. 

I clutch his ass and squeeze, pushing up to meet him. “ _God_... I can’t wait to fuck you again,” I say, my voice deep with an edge of desperation.

“I want that too,” he murmurs, his lips tickling my neck. “It felt amazing, having you inside me.”

“Fuck, Ri,” I groan, grinding harder, faster. “I want you so fucking much.”

“We can’t now,” he moves, slipping down between my legs and reaching for the button on my jeans. “But we can do this.”

“You too,” I say, wriggling further down the bed and pulling on his arm. “Get up here, I want to suck you too.”

“Fuck! Okay,” he grins. “That sounds like fun.”

It’s rushed and urgent. We try to keep quiet as we’re both listening for the sound of Kathy coming home. The dual sensations of Riley sucking on me and the press and slide of his cock in my mouth have me ready to come within minutes and I can tell that he’s close too. I come first with a gasp of warning and he hums around me as I pulse and spill. He follows shortly afterward, his mouth still on my cock as he tenses and his legs quiver. I hold his hips steady as I swallow and we carry on sucking and licking gently at each other’s cocks as they soften. 

He finally crawls off me and we rearrange our clothing before settling back down on the bed. I feel drowsy now and Riley wraps himself around me, one hand idly stroking my hair as I slip into sleep.

I wake to the soft touch of gentle fingers on my jaw and warm lips kissing my cheek, the tip of my nose, my forehead and finally my lips. 

“Hey, sleepy head,” Riley grins down at me, propped up on one elbow. “Sorry to wake you but it’s nearly six thirty and I need to go and eat dinner, and you need to get home.”

“Wow, really?” I rub my eyes, confused. I’ve been asleep for nearly two hours. 

“Yeah, Mom came in ten minutes ago to tell me that dinner was nearly ready and you didn’t even stir,” he kisses me again. “You really need that early night.”

“I guess so,” I chuckle. “Sorry, I fell asleep on you.”

“That’s okay,” he smiles. “It was cute, and anyway -- I already got what I wanted.” He wiggles his eyebrows, teasing me. 

He walks me to the front door and wraps his arms around me, kissing me thoroughly before he lets me go. “I love you,” he says. “See you tomorrow.”

“I love you too,” I smile, my heart rebelling at the thought of leaving him. I wish I could be with him all the time.

XOXOXOX

I never get my early night. I’m in the shower a couple of hours after dinner when my mom bangs on the door, her voice urgent as she calls me. I rinse quickly and drip water all over the floor as a grab a towel, anxiety spiking as she knocks again.

“Seth,” her voice is sharp, an edge of fear that sends a shiver down my spine.

I wrap the towel around my waist and unlock the door. The expression on her face does nothing to reassure me.

“What?” my voice is tight, constricted by fear.

“Riley’s mom phoned, wanting to know if he was here. He went out for a run and never came home.”

It feels as though someone has poured ice cold water over me. “How long has he been gone?” I whisper.

“Nearly two hours.”

I start to tremble, terror and anger making me lose control. I push past my mom, needing to get outside before I phase. “Call Sam,” I yell over my shoulder. “Tell him to follow me.” I stumble for the front door, shedding the towel as I go. I barely make it outside before the power surges through me in a wave and I shift in mid air as I leap from the porch. I land on all fours, already running towards Riley’s house. 

It’s twilight now, the sky deep blue, the shadows of the houses and trees bleeding into darkness. There’s nobody around to see me as I run, faster than I’ve ever run before. 

I catch Riley’s scent by his house and follow it, cursing him for going out alone, cursing myself for letting him out of my sight. I follow the trail along the path behind the houses, near the tree line in the direction of the beach. 

The trail forks and I note that Riley was keeping to my advice on avoiding the forest at least. He obviously took the route to the beach that’s mostly in the open. I run, blood pounding in my ears, imagining Riley running this way earlier, along the trail to where the ground gets softer, sandier and the path opens out onto the beach. 

I follow his scent down to the water’s edge and find his footprints as he ran along the flat, hard sand that the receding tide left a couple of hours earlier. The trail loops around and turns back toward the tree line. And that’s where my nose picks up the scent that I’ve been dreading, yet expecting all along. The unmistakable sickly scent of vampire -- the blond leech that we so nearly caught two days ago. 

The scent mingles with Riley’s and I know. I know that something terrible has happened and I drop to my haunches, raise my head and howl in desperation. A sound of rage and pain that tears through me, making my throat ache and my heart hurt.

_Seth_ , I hear Sam’s voice in my mind, reaching through the pain. Sympathy heavy in his thoughts. _  
_  
I lower my head to see them. My pack-brothers, my sister as they burst through the trees and surround me. Leah comes and licks my face, whining quietly as I whimper in anguish. I feel their sadness and anger like a warm wave, bolstering me, holding me up.

_We’ll find him_. Leah says. _  
_  
_There’s no scent of blood, Seth._ Jake is nose down, tracking the area where the scents mingle carefully. _Whatever they’ve done with him, he wasn’t hurt here._ _  
_  
I try not to think that he might have been harmed elsewhere.  
 _  
What do they want with him?_ I tear my mind back to the present before I spiral into panic. _  
_  
_They went this way_ , Jake says, moving already, and the rest of us follow. _  
_  
I smell Riley and the blond vampire, and then the scents of the redhead and her dread-locked mate mingle with the trail as we enter the forest again. We run as one, single-minded, determined. The trail is strong, fresh. I try to have hope that they can’t have got far yet, that we can reach Riley before any harm comes to him.

My hopes are dashed when the trail ends on the highway. We find dark skid marks on the tarmac and the lingering scent of burning rubber, along with two bodies. A man and a woman, drained of blood and cast aside like rag dolls. We circle the area several times to be sure, but there’s no doubt. The vamps have driven away with Riley and there’s no way of telling where they’re headed. I hang my head, defeated; I don’t even have the energy to howl.

XOXOXOX

We return to La Push in silence, my anguish weighing us all down. Back in our human forms Sam sends Quil and Jake to fetch the council members while Jared and Embry get the fire going. I sit, not even noticing that I’m still naked, watching the tentative flicker of the flames as the kindling catches. I remember sitting by the fire at the beach party with Riley by my side on the night that we kissed for the first time, and my vision blurs with tears. Leah drapes a blanket over my shoulders and sits beside me pulling me close, offering silent sympathy.

The rest of the council gathers quickly. Jake returns with Billy, Old Quil follows close behind. My mom arrives with Riley’s mom, Kathy. She has her arm around her but Kathy holds her head high, her face defiant and strong. 

She comes to me and kneels in front of me, pulling me into her arms without speaking. I catch my mom’s eye over Kathy’s shoulder and she kneels down too, her face grim. “I’ve told her everything,” she explains. 

I nod once in understanding and wrap my arms around Kathy. Her scent is comforting, I can smell Riley on her. We cling to each other for a moment before she pulls away and moves to sit down, wiping tears angrily from her cheeks. 

Soon everyone is gathered. The Elders, the pack, their families and the imprints - Emily and Kim. When I look at them sitting beside their wolves my heart is lanced with pain so intense my breath catches. My need for Riley is overwhelming; it feels as though someone has ripped off one of my limbs without an anesthetic. I try to draw air into my lungs. _In... out... in... out_. I need to focus, I have to stay strong. I need to save him.

Sam speaks first, explaining the situation in a few bleak words. I feel the waves of shock and sympathy ripple around the circle and I shiver, cold despite my overheated body and the blanket wrapped around me. Leah’s arm is across my shoulders again and she pulls me more tightly against her. 

Kathy is the first to ask the question. “But what can you do? How can you find my boy?”

Sam’s face is grim. “The vehicle they’ve stolen makes it hard. We can’t follow their scent so we have to rely on detective work. They’ll need to stop for fuel eventually, we can follow the routes they could have taken, ask at gas stations, someone must have seen them. They’re all pretty distinctive. Any human who has seen one of the three vampires would remember them.”

“But there are so many routes they could have taken,” I interject, my voice hoarse. “We don’t have time!”

“We don’t have a choice, Seth.” Sam replies, his voice gentle. “It’s our best chance.”

The sounds of a truck screeching to a halt on the road nearby makes us all turn to look. Running footsteps come towards us.

“Bella!” Jake recognizes her first as she emerges from the darkness, breathless and agitated.

“Please!” she gasps. “You have to listen to me. They can help you. The Cullens want to help you. They know about Riley and they can help you find him if you’ll agree to meet with them.”

Everyone talks at once, muttering in confusion, demanding explanations until Sam’s voice cuts through them all.

“Quiet!” he roars. “Let her speak. Bella, how do they know? and how can they help us?”

Bella takes a deep breath and her high voice is clear as she explains the nature of Alice’s ability to see the future.

“But if she knew this was going to happen, why didn’t she warn us before?” I snarl, furious at the thought that this could have been prevented.

“It’s not as simple as that, Seth.” Bella speaks to me directly. “The future can always change, it hinges on the decisions that people make. It’s fluid, not set in stone. The decision to take Riley was impulsive, not planned. Alice couldn’t see it until it was too late for them to intervene. But the important thing is that she knows he’s still alive, and she knows where they’re heading.” 

Relief uncurls in my chest, hope flickering as I try and have faith that the Cullens might be the key to Riley’s rescue. 

“Please...” Bella turns to Sam now, her face determined. “You have to come with me to meet them. They know that they can’t come here. But they only want to help.”

“Why?” Jake’s voice is hard, mistrustful. “Why do they care?”

“Because they’re good,” Bella says simply, meeting Jake’s gaze and holding it. “They might be vampires, but they care about people and they don’t want to see Riley killed.”

There’s a long silence. 

“Please, Sam,” my voice breaks on the words. He has to agree, I know that it’s our only real chance and as my imprint, the pack have to do everything in their power to help him.

“Okay,” he finally nods. “Bella, tell us where to meet them.”

**Chapter 13  
WARNINGS: (this warning contains spoilers so please skip if you don’t want to be warned for potential triggers).**

****_In this chapter there is abduction, use of restraints and threat of sexual violence.  
_ ****

**Riley  
**  
The first thing I’m aware of is pain, lancing through my head as I wince. I will my eyes to open but they’re heavy, sluggish.

I’m confused, my thoughts are scattered, the pieces make no sense.

My senses slowly fill in the gaps.

The vibration and sound of a car engine.

The stale scent and press of a car seat against my face.

The burning in my shoulders where they’re pinned behind my back, my wrists bound tight with coarse rope that cuts me as I groan and pull against it.

My legs curled up uncomfortably, crammed into an awkward position in a small space.

An icy cold fingertip trailing along the patch of skin that’s exposed above the waistband of my pants.

A voice that makes me shiver.

“Well, well... I think my new toy is awake.”

I try and move to see the source of the voice, but impossibly strong hands grab me, turn me so that I’m sitting now, my hands still trapped painfully behind me.

I open my eyes and look at him and I know immediately what he is.

His eyes glow, shockingly red in his pale face, and as he smiles at me his teeth are razor sharp, bared menacingly.

He’s beautiful, terrifying, deadly.

XOXOXOX

**Seth**

****Bella takes us to the Cullens.

Sam decides that the pack will meet with them in wolf form because he knows that the wolves who are most suspicious of the Cullens will feel safer that way. The pack are aware of Edward’s ability to read thoughts since he told me, and Bella says that Edward will be able to communicate on our behalf.

Bella rides on Sam’s back, guiding us up through the forest to a meadow that’s just outside the boundaries of the Quileute territory. The Cullens are waiting for us, standing like statues as we approach. The grass around them moves slightly in the breeze, only emphasizing their complete lack of movement. The faint light from the moon behind a haze of cloud gleams on their pale faces. They’re undeniably beautiful but terrifyingly unnatural.

I shiver. They give me the creeps. My nose wrinkles as their cloying, sweet scent reaches my nostrils. But if they’re going to help us find Riley I can put up with their weirdness.

Carlisle Cullen steps forward to greet us, flanked by his mate, Esme, with Edward on his other side. Bella slips off Sam’s back and runs to Edward, taking his hand and standing beside him. The others hang back a little, Alice beside Jasper and Emmett with his arm around Rosalie.

Edward smiles slightly at Sam, hearing the unspoken words of our alpha. He relays them to his family. 

“They want to hear from Alice, to know exactly what she can see.”

Alice speaks, her voice high and melodic, ringing out clearly. I hold my breath, praying that the news will be good. I feel Leah move close beside me, the warmth of her body comforting.

“They’re taking Riley to Seattle,” she says. “That’s certain; right from the start that was their intention and it hasn’t changed. I can’t tell you exactly where though,” her brow furrows. “They don’t have an exact location in mind. It will be somewhere dark, damp... an old storeroom or cellar but there’s nothing to help narrow down the exact place. But I can see him there clearly, it’s going to happen. And he’s definitely alive.”

_Is he still human?_ It’s Jake who asks the question that I can’t bring myself to even consider. _  
_  
“Have they changed him?” Edward asks Alice.

She shakes her head. “I can only see him human now, but the way the visions work... it can change. All I can tell you is that at the moment, they aren’t planning on changing him.”

I feel relief wash through me. The thought of my beautiful, warm Riley being turned into cold stone is more than I can bear. We have to get to him before that can happen.

_What do they want with him?_ I direct my thoughts to Edward. _Why have they taken him?_

__Alice is silent for a moment before answering this time, as though she’s picking her words carefully. “It was the blond who wanted him. He likes the scent of his blood, but he wants him for more than that. He’s attracted to him.”

_No!_ A savage snarl rips through me as I imagine that filthy bloodsucker touching my boy, hurting him, forcing him. _He’s mine._

_Seth!_ The unmistakable tone of command in Sam’s voice quells me immediately, even in my distressed state. _This isn’t helping Riley; you have to try and stay calm._ I whimper and my body sags. Leah whines softly and licks my ear, sending me silent waves of love and sympathy. _  
_  
Sam turns toward the Cullens again. _So, you say you want to help us. What do you suggest we do?_  
 _  
_“We’ll go with you to Seattle,” Carlisle replies. “All of us, the more of us there are, the easier it will be to search the likely places that they could be holding him. Alice’s visions will change as time passes, she may see something new, something that will help us narrow it down. If we leave now and take the direct route over the mountains we can be there in a few hours.”

There’s a long pause as Sam thinks. I feel his mind ticking over, working out the ramifications of whichever decision he makes. I feel the pressure from others in the pack. Mostly in favor of accepting the Cullen’s help, but one or two flickers of dissent. Paul is the most openly negative.

_Okay_ , Sam finally agrees. _Let’s do it_. _  
_  
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized that I was holding as I waited for his decision. _Thank you, Sam_ , I think, truly grateful. I really believe that the Cullens are Riley’s only hope.

XOXOXOX

**Riley**

****They drag me from the car as though my weight is nothing. We’re on a dark, deserted road lined by tall buildings. Most of the windows are boarded up like blank eyes, unseeing. I try to shout for help but there’s no one to hear me.

I think of Seth and wonder if he knows that I’m missing, whether he’s already looking for me. I try to believe that he can still save me.

Strong, cold hands bundle me through a door, down some stairs. They push me into a dark, damp cellar; I stumble and fall to the floor. I pray that they’ll close the door on me and leave me alone, but they follow me inside. A light switch is flipped on. A bare bulb hanging from the ceiling illuminates the room with a harsh, white light.

I cower by the wall, my knees curled up instinctively.

I’ve never felt so helpless.

I look at my captors properly now. The blond man -- James, as the others call him -- is looking at me thoughtfully, his smile cruel.

The others are watching with amusement, as though they’re waiting to be entertained. The woman is graceful, striking, with a mop of red curls that clash with her crimson eyes. The other man is dark skinned, elegant. Long dreadlocks frame his handsome face.

He puts his arm around the vampire woman and she leans into his embrace, wrapping herself sinuously around him and kissing his cheek. 

“I’m hungry, Laurent,” she pouts at her mate. “The scent of this human boy is giving me quite an appetite. Can we go out to eat?”

The dark man grins, his teeth gleaming. “But, Victoria, don’t you want to stay and watch James play with his little pet?”

I shudder and shrink further back towards the wall. 

“Tempting though it is, I need blood and I need it now,” she licks her lips, looking at me as her nostrils flare. “And since James wants to keep this one I’ll need to find my own.”

I wonder what her words mean. He wants to keep me? I feel real hope for the first time since I’ve been taken. If James intends to keep me alive then maybe I have a chance. Maybe Seth and the pack will be able to save me.

“Very well, my darling,” Laurent replies smoothly. “We’ll see you later, James. Have fun getting to know each other.”

They laugh together as they turn and leave. James says nothing, he keeps his eyes fixed on me until the door closes behind them and I hold his gaze -- terrified of him but even more afraid to look away.   
**  
**He drags me to my feet again, forcing me to stand in the center of the room.

He circles me, examining me carefully from all angles.

He moves in closer but doesn’t touch me yet. He inhales the scent of my skin, his face so close to mine that if he were human I would be able to feel his warmth.

“Delicious,” he murmurs, his breath washing over my face, incongruously sweet.

“What do you want with me?” I finally find my voice. It feels hollow in my throat.

His lips curve in a smile but his eyes are calculating. “I want to play with you, my pretty. I saw you in the forest with your wolf-boy,” his lip curls in disgust. “I wanted you for myself -- and now I have you.”

He circles me again. I keep my eyes straight ahead, fixed on the wall in front of me. I try not to show my fear; I don’t want to give him the satisfaction. I focus on Seth, the thought of him giving me strength.

I gasp as my shirt is ripped from my body, the chill air hitting me and making my nipples peak. I feel icy hands touching me now, assessing, caressing in a way that makes my skin crawl as my heart pounds in panic. I grit my teeth, willing myself not to react.

He stands in front of me again, and his eyes are dark as he parts his lips, showing me his teeth. “You smell so good, boy,” he licks his lips and leans in toward me.

I jerk backwards, my instincts screaming at me to try and get away from him. But he grabs my hair and forces my head back, twisting his fingers into it painfully as he pushes me back against the wall.

He dips his head and I brace myself, expecting pain. But instead of teeth slicing my flesh I feel his tongue, cold and wet as it trails across the skin of my throat, making me squirm and buck against him as I try to throw him off with no success. He holds me in a vice-like grip as he moves lower, tasting my collarbones, scraping them with his teeth but not breaking the skin. His icy tongue flicks around my nipple and every muscle in my body clenches with repulsion. It feels so horribly, hideously wrong being touched like this by this creature.

He buries his nose into the crook of my neck and inhales again, pushing his body hard against mine. I can feel that he’s aroused and nausea floods through me. I know that I’m utterly powerless against him and can’t do anything to stop this from happening.

He grinds up against me, one hand still pulling my head back as the other pinches my nipples painfully. 

I close my eyes tightly and try to distance myself from what he’s doing to me, but I can’t bear to think of Seth right now. So I focus on the beach at La Push. I imagine the texture of the sand, the smell of the sea, the warmth of the sun. I lose myself in the vision I create.

It’s the pain that drags me back. Pain like I’ve never felt before. I feel the rip of my flesh as his teeth sink into my neck and I scream, the sound torn from my gut, raw and shrill. 

I feel the suck and pull of his mouth, draining my blood as he gulps noisily. 

I feel myself slipping away.

I’m sure that I’m dying.  
 **  
**

XOXOXOX

**Seth  
**  
I find it a little easier once we’re running. The exertion, the rhythm of my feet pounding on the earth takes me out of my head and my anxiety subsides to a dull, constant ache rather than the stark terror of earlier. Sam leads the group, flanked by Jake and Paul. The Cullens run behind them, with the rest of the pack bringing up the rear. Leah stays close to me at all times and I’m incredibly grateful to her for her silent support. 

We run in silence. Even the minds of the pack are subdued. All our focus is on moving as quickly and purposefully as we can. 

We take a direct route through the forests, across the mountains. When we reach roads and buildings we skirt south, trying to avoid humanity, keeping to the lesser populated areas. Finally we reach the stretch of water that separates us from our goal. We plunge unhesitatingly into the cold water. I’m grateful for my thick fur, although I feel the chill despite it. The pack are all strong swimmers but we lack speed in the water. I feel my frustration shared by the rest of them at how long it takes us to paddle our way across the wide expanse of dark water. 

We skirt the coast until we reach the industrial district of the docks. 

_Phase back now_ , Sam commands us. _We can’t risk being seen in our wolf form._ _  
_  
We obey and the freezing water makes me gasp as my human skin comes in contact with it. I hear the sound of cursing from the others as it affects them too. We swim the last couple of hundred yards as fast as we can, eager to get to dry land.

We emerge from the water like some strange, invading army. The Cullens fully clothed and dripping wet. The pack naked, wet bodies gleaming in the artificial light from the streetlamps glowing nearby. We untie our clothes from where they’re strapped to our ankles and wring them out and pull them on, wincing in discomfort. Luckily our superheated bodies will dry them soon enough. 

“We need to find a base,” Sam says. “Somewhere that we can hide if we need to, meet and gather between searching. It could take time to find Riley and we may need a place to sleep.”

“And if it’s sunny in the daytime tomorrow, my family will need a place to hide too.” Carlisle agrees. 

We head into the rows of shipping crates close by. The giant metal containers sit like huge lego blocks in endless rows on the tarmac. We slip into the shadows that they cast and stay there as much as we can, moving silently. There is nobody around for now but we don’t want to come upon an unsuspecting security guard and have to explain our presence. We lose ourselves in the maze, as close to the center as possible. 

“Okay, Emmett, let’s find one that will suit our purpose.” Carlisle speaks to the huge vampire who grins and flexes his muscles. 

“Sure thing.” 

He effortlessly breaks the locks on the door of the one closest to us, but it’s full of packing cases. There isn’t enough space inside for it to be any use to us. He tries a few more before we find one that’s mostly empty. Just a few boxes inside the dark, hollow space. We file in, uncomfortable at the close proximity but we don’t have a choice. We need a space to use as our base while we search for Riley.

The smell of vampire is overwhelming in such a small space. I try not to wrinkle my nose but I can’t help it. Paul doesn’t even attempt to hide his disgust and covers his nose with his hand, wincing.

Edward laughs. “You know, you don’t smell like a summer meadow to us either,” he says mildly.

“Yeah, and wet dogs smell even worse than dry ones,” Rosalie speaks for the first time, her perfect face a picture of repulsion.

“Fuck you!” Paul snarls at her and Emmett immediately drops to a crouch, teeth bared, eyes blazing.

“Enough!” Sam roars and Paul cringes, but his face is full of hatred.

“Rose,” Carlisle’s voice is icy calm. “We’re here to help, and insulting our allies is hardly the way to go about that. And Emmett -- Rose asked for that.”

The huge vampire straightens up from his crouching position slowly, uncurling his body an inch at a time, his eyes still fixed on Paul who glares back. The rest of us watch, the tension high in the cramped space.

“Oh no!” Alice gasps, her hand flying to her mouth as she makes a sound of distress that draws all our eyes to her in an instant, the dispute forgotten.

She stares at Edward, and his face mirrors her emotions as he sees what she’s seeing, the shock and sadness reflected back as they hold each other’s gaze.

“What?” I croak out, my voice hoarse. Wanting to know, yet not wanting to hear it... knowing from their expressions that their words will cause me pain.

“He’s being turned,” Alice whispers. Her eyes huge, sorrowful. “I’m sorry Seth, but it’s already happening. I can see him as a vampire and there’s no doubt, it’s crystal clear.”

**  
Chapter 14**

**Riley**

****The crash of the door as it flies off its hinges makes James pull away from my throat. I open my eyes to see his face, covered with my blood as he turns and drops into a crouch, snarling at Victoria who’s standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips, Laurent just behind her.

“Really, James, I didn’t think you’d need a chaperone,” she snaps at him. “You have no self-control at all!”

I slump down the wall, dizzy with loss of blood, moaning at the burning pain radiating out from the wound in my neck.

“Fuck off,” James snarls at her, shielding my body from the other vampires.

“If you keep eating your playthings you’ll spend eternity alone,” her voice is mocking. “Let me change this one for you. I’m not hungry so I’ll be able to resist no matter how tasty he is. I don’t think he has much longer.”

I whimper, too weak to cry out despite the agonizing pain of the bite. I feel my blood pulsing out with each panicked beat of my heart. Through blurred vision I see James move aside, his fists clenched angrily as he lets Victoria pass.

She towers over me, her hair flaming around her head with the light behind it. She looks magnificent, breathtaking, like an angel of death as she comes for me. 

She drops to her knees beside me and her touch is strangely gentle. I’m too weak to resist as she rolls me onto my side and unties my hands. She lifts my wrists to her mouth and bites them swiftly, one after the other. I cry out as the burning, icy pain of her venom seeps into my blood stream and spreads rapidly up my arms. 

She bites me again, and again; at the crooks of my elbows, the side of my neck that’s still untouched. Then she pulls down my jeans and I feel the sting and slice of her teeth at my groin as she pumps her venom into the huge veins there, closing the wounds with a swipe of her tongue.

She stands again, brushing the dirt and dust from the floor off her hands.

“Well that should do it, the change will be fast.” She looks back at me indifferently as I lie on the floor, my eyes still open, paralyzed by the excruciating pain that’s tearing me apart from the inside. Then she turns to James and smirks. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

My eyes flutter closed as the pain consumes me and everything is darkness.

XOXOXOX

**Seth**

****My legs give out and I fall to the floor, gasping for breath as pain rips through me like a jagged blade. My Riley. My beautiful human boy is lost to me forever. The wolf inside me howls for his mate as I try to imagine Riley as a vampire. Is there any way that our bond can survive this?

Leah is beside me in an instant and Jake drops to his knees on my other side. Their touch is warm and gentle but it does nothing to soothe me. I want Riley, there is no one else who matters to me. Nobody else can comfort me. My body and soul ache with the loss of him.

No one else speaks at first. The only sound in the metal shell that surrounds us is the echo of my ragged breathing and tearing sobs. The Cullens are silent. But then I hear the voices of the pack, muttering at first but rapidly becoming louder, urgent and confused. 

Those who understand my feelings are sympathetic, shocked. Sam and Jared, the only ones who truly know how it feels to be bonded so tightly to another, voice only their concern. And Leah and Jake are sorrowful too, caring about me, wanting to be able to fix this. But Quil, Paul and Embry are muttering in disgust, repelled by the thought that I might still want Riley now that he’s less than human. 

“We’ll need to find him and end him,” Paul’s voice reaches my ears, vicious and cruel. “The last thing we need is a newborn vampire to deal with. Better to tear him apart and burn the pieces before he can do any damage.”

My pain and anguish turn into rage in an instant.

I spring from the floor, and the only thing that stops me phasing is Sam’s yelled command to both of us to stay in human form. But I don’t stop my movement. I launch myself at Paul, fury making me impossibly strong. My hands are on his throat before anyone can reach me and before he has time to defend himself. He flies backward, crashing into the metal wall of the container with a dull thud. I’m snarling, savage, wild. Only Sam’s authority is holding me in my human body and the thread keeping me there is tenuous.

Paul twists beneath me, snarling and trying to throw me off and strong hands, some warm, some cold and hard are pulling me away, restraining me. I try to fight them off too, but then my anger is suddenly muted, as though someone has turned a switch in my mind and dulled it. It’s still present but muffled by an unnatural feeling of calm. Paul stills too, frowning in confusion and shaking his head as though he needs to clear it.

“What the hell is that?” Sam demands. “What’s happening?”

“It’s Jasper,” Carlisle answers. We turn as one to look at the blond vampire who meets our questioning looks with a slight quirk of his lips and a nod of his head. “He has the ability to control the emotions of others.”

“Well fucking stop it,” I growl, but my anger lacks heat. I feel irritated at being manipulated but am unable to express it in a normal way. 

“I’ll stop it if you can keep yourself calm,” Jasper replies, his voice a light drawl.

“Well?” Sam looks between Paul and me. 

I nod, begrudgingly, shaking off the hands that are still restraining me. 

“This isn’t Paul’s decision to make, Seth,” Sam addresses me again. “Even if Riley is a vampire now, he’s still your imprint.” He looks around at the rest of the pack as he continues. “We don’t know how his being changed will affect that. But until we know otherwise he still has the right to the protection of the pack. And as long as that’s the case, no one will harm him. Is that clear?” The last question is addressed directly at Paul, who scowls but nods reluctantly. 

I take a shaky breath of relief. I still don’t know what Riley changing will mean for our relationship but I know for sure that I don’t want to see him destroyed. I still want to find him, save him. Bring him home and hope that we can work something out. A thought occurs to me and I turn to Alice.

“In your visions, can you see Riley as a vampire... not just being turned, but further in the future?”

She frowns and concentrates for a moment, a faraway look in her eyes. But then she shakes her head, sighing with frustration. “No,” she says. “I can see him being turned, but very little is clear after that. I see him with the others, in a small room, and then in a street, running. But then it’s blurred... uncertain. I think he’s going to break away from them but it’s not clear how that’s going to happen; it’s going to be an impulsive decision so I can’t see it yet. And then further in the future I can’t see him it all. But that could be because you’re there.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, confused.

“I can’t see the pack,” she says simply, shrugging her delicate shoulders. “I noticed it when I was trying to watch Bella. When she’s with Jake I can’t see her. So not only can I not see your futures, I also can’t see the futures of the people who are closely involved with you.”

“So it’s possible that you can’t see Riley in the future as a vampire because he’s going to be with me?” My heart lifts a little. The chance that we might still have a future together, however slight, gives me hope.

She nods. “Yes,” her lips curve in smile of encouragement but her eyes are concerned. She doesn’t need to tell me what the other reason might be. I know without her voicing it that it’s possible Riley doesn’t have a future at all.

XOXOXOX

Sam and Carlisle take charge now, talking rapidly, making decisions, delegating. 

I try and listen but I can’t concentrate on what they’re saying. All I can think about is Riley, where he is and what he’s going through, how much pain he must be in as the venom creeps through his system, destroying his humanity from the inside out.

Search parties are organized. We split into small groups of three or four, vampires and wolves mixed together. The Cullens seem happy with the arrangement. I can sense the discomfort of some of the pack, but Sam’s word is final and there are no more arguments.

We spend the rest of the night spanning out to search the city for any trace of Riley, his scent, or the scent of his captors. We comb the likely areas - the docks, the industrial areas of the city, disused warehouses and factories. We cover as much ground as we can. 

We regroup back at the container as dawn breaks and discuss how to proceed.

“It’s vital that the pack try to get some sleep,” Sam insists despite my protests and those of the others. “We need all our strength for a confrontation and you’re no use to me if you’re exhausted. Your reflexes will be dulled and that will put us all in danger.

Luck is on our side and the sun stays resolutely behind thick cloud cover. This means that the Cullens can continue to search for Riley throughout the day. They don’t need to sleep or rest and fortunately none of them are particularly hungry yet. Their eyes are amber, not yet turning dark with the need for blood. 

The time trickles by, sluggish, torturous. Every second that separates me from Riley feels like an eternity. When I’m out searching I feel a little better for being active, for doing something. But when I’m sent back to attempt sleep it’s like torture. 

My body burns and itches with need for Riley’s touch and my heart is lanced with pain when I remember that he’ll never be the same again. A deep instinctual part of me believes that I’ll still love him, that him being a vampire won’t change the way I feel. But the rational part of me fears that the differences will be too great. 

What if I can’t bear the way he smells now, if the touch of his icy hands repulse me? And what if he finds _me_ disgusting, if the ‘wet dog’ smell that Rosalie taunted Paul about will be too much for Riley to stand? 

I lie in the darkness of the container, my body curled tight as hot tears slide down my cheeks. My mind whirls with dark thoughts until an uneasy sleep finally claims me.

And of course I dream of Riley. 

_I dream of lying in a meadow with him in the sunshine and my vision is filled with warm hands and soft lips, Riley’s smile and his laughter._

_But then he changes, his skin turning pale and cold under my touch. He glitters in the sun, beautiful, but hard as diamonds. His smile turns into a snarl and his teeth are like blades. The hatred and blood-lust in his red eyes fill me with horror._

__I wake, gasping for breath, my heart pounding against my ribs. I’m overwhelmed as the memories of the past twenty four hours crash back into place and I realize where I am and what’s been happening.

A cool hand touches my forehead and I open my eyes to see Edward crouching beside me, his golden eyes gleaming in the almost-darkness, his expression gentle.

“Is there any news?” I ask him, my voice desperate.

“I’m sorry, Seth, but no,” he replies. “We still haven’t picked up their trail, and Alice’s visions haven’t changed. They must be holed up somewhere, waiting for Riley’s transformation to be complete. Our best hope is that once he’s changed they’ll make a move and she’ll be able to see them again.”

I sag, feeling utterly bleak. “When he wakes, he’ll need to feed won’t he?”

Edward just nods and my heart breaks a little more.

XOXOXOX

Forty eight hours pass with no news, no sign, no trace of Riley or the ones who’ve taken him. It’s night time again and I’m out searching with Alice and Edward when it happens. We’re running through darkened streets, in a rundown industrial area. Rain is falling, cold and damp and puddles of water reflect the orange glow of the street lamps.

“They’re moving at last,” Alice stops abruptly, her face intent with concentration. “He’s going hunting.”

“Where?” I feel nauseated. We have to get to him first, I can’t let this happen. “Where are they Alice? You must be able to see something... anything?”

She’s silent for an endless moment as I wait, my chest tight, unable to breathe.

“This way,” she turns and starts to run, a blur of movement. I phase to keep up with her, my clothing scattering in tiny pieces around me, and follow Alice and Edward as they run. I know that a giant wolf pounding the streets of Seattle may attract attention but I don’t care.

XOXOXOX

**Riley**

****I’m floating, disconnected from reality, my mind adrift. But I’m not soothed by gentle water; I’m bathing in acid, my skin is on fire. My veins and arteries filled with poison as Victoria’s venom creeps through me, killing me but not allowing me to die.

I have no concept of time passing, all I know is pain that feels endless.

I hear the sound of screaming and dimly register that the tortured sounds are coming from me.

Eventually the screaming stops and all is silence, but the pain continues.

I feel each slow beat of my heart, the pauses between them stretching out, getting gradually longer until finally they stop and the pain recedes.

I open my eyes and am immediately assaulted by sensation.

Each speck of dust moving slowly in the almost motionless air of the room is visible to me. I smell the damp, the mould, magnified twenty times from what it was before. 

I smell the three vampires in the room with me, each scent unique and identifiable. 

They watch me expectantly, still as statues, but I sense that they’re ready to react at the slightest move from me.

The pain in my body is gone but my throat burns, I swallow, trying to alleviate it but it only gets worse. I bring up my hand to clutch my neck, a hissing sound escaping from my mouth.

“Hello, darling,” Victoria chuckles, a cold, humorless sound. “James, I think your little friend is hungry.”

I look at James and remember what he did to me. My human memories are blurred and dreamlike now, but the most recent ones are more vivid. Looking at his face reminds me how he touched me, how he hurt me. That he’s the one who took my human life away.

A snarl rips from my throat, shockingly loud in the confined space. I’m up and on my feet, crouching, springing before I even realize that I’m moving. James dodges my assault and my teeth snap shut on empty air, just an inch away from his throat.

Victoria and Laurent seize my arms and I struggle, but between them they manage to restrain me -- just.

“Oh dear,” Laurent sounds amused. “I’m not sure this match is going to work out too well.”

James glares at me, his face angry, lip curling over bared teeth. “Maybe he’ll behave better once he’s fed.”

The burning thirst claws at my throat again. 

A small, almost-forgotten part of me is horrified at the implication of his words. But my instincts are screaming for blood and drown out every last whisper of my humanity as the raging thirst consumes me. I shake off the hands that hold me and burst through the cellar door, all thoughts of James forgotten.

Movement is effortless. I’m amazed by my speed and strength, the power of my body. I run out into the night, aware that the others are following me, but I’m stronger, faster, and soon outrun them. 

I don’t pause even for a moment. The night air floods my new supernatural senses and tells me everything I need to know in an instant. I can smell humans and I know exactly which direction I need to go to find them. The warm, sweet scent of them intensifies my thirst as I fly through the city streets until I find what I’m looking for.

He’s alone, in an alley. The pounding bass of music seeps through a half open door in the back of a nightclub, a chink of light escaping and reflecting off the surface of the puddles.

I smell his urine as he turns away from the wall, zipping up his pants and I’m on him before he even sees me coming at him out of the darkness.

Driven by instinct, I’m not even aware of what I’m doing until it’s too late.

The sweet taste of his blood is in my mouth, too good to resist. It’s everything... all that matters. But when I’m sated I look down at the remains at my feet, the mangled body of someone who had a life, a family, people who cared about him. 

And that’s when I remember that I used to have all those things too. I see my mother, my father, my friends. The people who loved me. And then my mind is filled with memories of Seth; his smile, his laugh, his touch. 

The guilt and horror at what I’ve become overwhelm me, the pain as bad as the pain of Victoria’s venom in my veins.

I scream, a high shrill sound of pain that nothing human could ever make as I turn and start to run again. I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stop. I need to get away from the scene of my terrible crime.

I run through the city, trying to get away from the scent of people -- all around me, torturing me with the thirst that still lingers and the memory of what I’ve done. I reach a road bridge, huge and high, spanning a large expanse of water. 

I finally stop running, and look down at the water below. It’s beautiful, I notice with detachment. The huge structure is lit up by strings of lights that reflect on the river below, their shape breaking and reforming as the ripples ebb and flow.

I put my head in my hands, pain blooming in my chest but no tears come.

XOXOXOX

**Seth**

****Alice leads us through the city, keeping to dark alley ways where we can. In some places we climb and leap across rooftops. Anything to avoid being seen by humans.

We leap down a fire escape into a narrow back-street behind a nightclub. A slumped form lies on the ground, it’s too dark to see a lot, but I can smell the blood. The copper tang of it taints the air around us, making my stomach heave.

We move closer and find the body of a man, so damaged that he’s barely recognizable as human. I shift back to human form and crouch to look at him more closely. His body’s crumpled, abandoned on the blacktop in a puddle of dirty rainwater. What little blood that’s left in his body seeps out slowly, staining the water.

I stand, my legs trembling as I turn to Alice and Edward. The expressions on their faces tell me all I need to know. 

“Riley did this?” I whisper.

When Edward nods I turn and retch, emptying the contents of my stomach onto the ground.

“What next?” I hear Edward ask through my distress. “Can you see what’s going to happen? I’m scanning for his thoughts but I don’t think he’s close enough for me to tune into him.”

I turn back to them, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, my bile bitter in my throat.

“We have to find him.” I say, my voice hoarse. “I won’t give up on him, he can’t help this can he?”

Edward shakes his head. “Very few newborns could stop themselves, Seth. It’s impossible to describe the lust for blood. But he can learn to resist it eventually -- if he chooses to try.”

“Okay,” I set my jaw. “He will... I know he will.” I can’t believe that _my_ Riley isn’t still there somewhere. “We need to follow his trail.”

I shift back to wolf form and use my powerful sense of smell to learn the new scent of Riley. He smells different now of course, the sweetness of vampire is unmistakable. But there’s a quality to his scent that still ties him to the boy that I loved, my mate. It makes my heart beat faster with longing and desperation.

I feel the presence of Sam in my mind as he shifts into wolf form, the mental connection suddenly there where before there was none. I cast my mind out but Sam is the only one of the pack I feel for now. 

I use the power of my thoughts to show Sam where we are and what’s happened. Communicating this way is faster than I could ever manage to explain with words. I show him with my mind how to find the cellar so that the pack and the remaining Cullens know where to pick up the scent of the other vampires. And I show him where we are now and what Riley’s done.

_Go after him, Seth._ Sam is decisive, sure. _I’ll try and explain things to the rest of the pack. Riley’s still your imprint, you need to find him. But you have to prevent him from killing again. We’ll go after the coven. Good luck._

_Thank you, Sam._ I’m truly grateful for his support. _  
_  
I pick up Riley’s trail and lead the way, Alice and Edward following me. I run, pushing my body to its limits. Edward and Alice match me effortlessly.

As we run I feel the pack slipping in and out of my head. They must be switching between forms as they search for the three vampires. Their focus is on the hunt, only rarely do I catch thoughts of Riley or me. But I feel the hatred and disgust that color the thoughts of the minority, Paul in particular. I fear for Riley’s safety if I try to bring him home, assuming that he will even want to come with me.

Alice keeps talking as we run, not even needing to breathe of course.

“I can see water, a bridge...” her voice cuts through the sound of our pounding feet. “Riley’s there, on the bridge. He’s angry, tormented by guilt.” She sounds distressed and the knife twists in my gut again. I can’t bear to know that Riley’s suffering.

“And then?” Edward asks.

“Nothing more,” she snaps in frustration.

We run impossibly faster, eating up the miles as we run through the mostly sleeping city following Riley’s trail. I know that Sam will be furious with me for risking discovery like this. I’m hardly inconspicuous as we race through the darkened streets. But at the speed we’re travelling the few people or vehicles that we pass have little chance to see us properly. And I don’t care. All I care about is getting to Riley, making him believe that none of this is his fault. He doesn’t have to be a monster.

XOXOXOX

We reach the bridge just as the sky is lightening in the east, the gray hint of dawn touching the murky horizon. Rain is still falling from the sky, softly now. My fur is soaked with it.

I see Riley, standing by the railing looking down at the dark sheen of the water below, and my heart leaps. 

I don’t care what he is.

I don’t care what he’s done.

I still love him.

I still want him.

He turns to face me as I run toward him. Alice and Edward drop back a little, letting me reach him first.

I phase back and stare at him, entranced. He’s unbelievably beautiful. His pale skin gleams in the half-light of dawn, his delicate features the same as ever but with a harder edge. The shadows beneath his red eyes make him almost vulnerable and the rain on his face looks like tears. His scent calls to me, sweet like syrup but just enough to be appealing.

I stand naked before him, my arms outstretched. I want to touch him but I’m afraid he won’t want me.

“Riley,” I whisper.

“I’m so sorry,” his voice is full of unbearable pain, his face tortured as he stares at me. Longing all twisted up with agony.

“Come home with me,” I beg him. “I forgive you, I forgive you for everything. None of this is your fault. I love you.”

He shakes his head. “You deserve better than me.”

And before I have time to even realize what he’s doing, Riley leaps over the barrier with all the grace and speed of his new supernatural body, and plunges down towards the water far below.

 

**Chapter 15**

**Seth**

****I don’t hesitate.

I shift and leap, my powerful muscles bunching and launching me up and over the barrier, following Riley down into the water below.

The air rushes past me, my heart pounding as I plummet. 

I see him falling ahead of me, his body arched like a bow, arms outstretched.

Riley breaks the surface and I brace myself for the impact as the rippled water rushes up to meet me, knocking the air out of me as I plunge into the cold, dark water. 

I’m disorientated, unable to tell which way is up. The water swirls around me, pulling at my fur. I open my eyes but all I see is murky darkness, no light to indicate the surface. My lungs burn and I’m afraid that I’m drowning. 

I shift back to human form instinctively, I’m a strong swimmer and I twist in the water, trying to get my bearings. But I don’t have enough oxygen left, my movements are weak and I feel darkness at the edges of my consciousness, dragging me down. Salt water rushes into my lungs, stinging, burning. 

I feel as though I’m on the outside looking in, laughing at my own stupidity. What a ridiculous, humiliating way for a werewolf to die.

But hard, cold hands grab me, pull at me, drag me spluttering and choking to the surface. The cold air of the early morning hits my cheeks. Strong arms are holding me. I can’t see who they belong to as they strike out for the shore, dragging me to safety.

Two heads break the surface nearby and I recognize Edward and Alice and realize with shock that it must be Riley’s arms around me. He’s pulling me toward the shore, kicking his legs powerfully. He keeps an arm around me, supporting me as I stumble onto the gravel beach. I fall to my knees, coughing the water out of my lungs as he stand over me, not touching me. I feel the loss of contact like an ache.

I stagger to my feet. Alice and Edward emerge from the water too, dripping, their hair slick against their skulls. They walk a little way up the beach, giving us a sense of privacy although I know that they’ll hear every word we say to each other.

I turn to face Riley. His face is shuttered, the pain hidden but I know it’s still there beneath the surface.

“Please, Riley.” I beg him, my voice a harsh rasp in my throat, raw from coughing. “I still love you. Please... just let me take you back home. We can work this out... all of it.”

“I’m a monster,” he says simply. “How can I go home? Everything is different now. I can’t be around humans -- and what about the pack? They won’t want me on the Res even if I could be sure that I wasn’t a risk.”

“But that doesn’t mean it has to be over for us. I still love you, Riley; nothing has changed for me. We can work out a way of being together... look at Edward and Bella.”

“I killed a man,” his voice is cold and hard, but his face flickers with emotions that he’s trying to hide. “I ripped his throat out, drank his blood. And although I hate myself for doing it, it was the best thing I’ve ever tasted... and all I can think about is doing it again. I’m afraid, Seth. I don’t want to exist like this.”

“But you don’t have to let it happen again. You know about the Cullens, you know there’s a different way to be.” I turn to look at Edward and Alice who are watching us, their faces expressionless. I call over to them. “You’ll help him won’t you? You can teach him to be like you?”

Edward nods. “Of course, if that’s what he wants. He can come and stay with us. I’m sure Carlisle and Esme will be okay with that.”

I turn back to Riley. “You see? You have a choice. And the pack won’t harm you as long as you don’t kill again. You’re still my imprint; you still have my protection.”

I move closer now, desperate to touch him. I raise my hand and trace the shape of his cheekbone with my fingertips. His skin is cold and smooth, so different now to how it was before. But as he leans imperceptibly into my touch I feel love and desire uncurling in my belly, so powerful it takes my breath away. I know without a doubt that we are still meant to be together and that I’ll do everything in my power to keep him with me.

I pull him into my arms and at first he resists, his body stiff and unyielding. But then he relaxes into the embrace and his arms creep around me, icy on my heated body, making me shiver with the shock of pleasure. He presses his cold face into my shoulder.

“I still love you,” he whispers. “That hasn’t changed. But I just don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I can be what you want me to be. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight it.”

I pull back and put my hands on his shoulders, staring into his blood-red eyes. “Will you at least try?” I beg him. “For me? I can’t let you go.” My voice breaks and I feel hot tears flooding my eyes and spilling over, trickling down my cheeks. “I need you... please, Riley.”

“Okay,” he makes a sobbing sound and his face is full of pain, but his eyes remain dry. “I’ll try, but I can’t promise you anything.”

I pull him close and press my lips against his. They’re cold against the heat of mine but as he parts them for my tongue I taste his sweetness and I drown in it. Riley kisses me back, our tongues touching tentatively and I’m shot through with desire for him. My body starts to respond, and I remember that I’m naked and that Alice and Edward are close by, so I pull away reluctantly trying to calm myself. I remember that Edward will be able to hear my thoughts anyway and the embarrassment is enough to quell my swelling cock. 

“Thank you,” I say. “I believe in you.”

I wrap my arms around him again and just hold him, taking comfort in his presence. He hugs me back and we stand there, lost in each other for a while as the dark gray of dawn gradually lightens around us.

I hear feet crunching over the gravel and we separate, turning to see Edward and Alice approaching. 

Edward speaks, breaking the silence. “My family and the rest of the pack are following the trail of the feral coven back up into the mountains. You should go, Seth, catch up with them. We’ll take Riley back with us to Forks.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” I turn to Riley again, taking his hand and holding it tightly. Cold and warm, white fingers and dark ones twined together. He squeezes back.

“I need time,” he says. “I need time to think... come to terms... with this. Go -- do what you have to do.”

“Okay,” I nod. And I know that what I have to do is be the one who kills the bastard that did this to Riley. I can’t undo what’s been done. But I can take revenge on the leech that changed him and make sure that he never does this to anyone else again. 

I lean forward and kiss Riley once, a swift brush of my lips over his. Then I release his hand and shift into my wolf form. I cast my mind out, feeling for my pack and immediately know where I need to go to find them. 

I face Edward. _Look after him_.

“I will,” he says, his amber eyes fixed on mine. 

I turn and run.

XOXOXOX

I run like the wind, keeping to woodland and forest where I can, drawn like a magnet to the pack mind. I can feel it more powerfully as I get closer to them. I swim through rivers, barely pausing to shake the water from my fur before I explode into movement again.

I pick up on the thoughts of the other wolves as they track the vampires and I feed on their hatred and desire to destroy, my need for revenge growing inside me like a cancer. I focus my thoughts on the blond vampire and send a clear warning to the pack.

_He’s mine. Save him for me. I want to be the last thing that he sees._

__I know they haven’t caught them yet but they’re getting closer, drawing an invisible net around them. With the Cullens helping us, our increased numbers mean that they can’t escape from us this time.

I finally catch up.

They have the vampires cornered in a deep rocky gully, high in the mountains. The pack are guarding either end and the Cullens are on the high ground, ready to catch them if they try to climb out. 

They’ve been waiting for me. I let out a barking howl to announce my presence as I run up the last rocky slope -- a triumphant sound of greeting to my pack and of warning to the ones that I’m coming for. 

We move in, slowly, cautiously. I can smell their fear before I see them. Their sickly sweetness tainted sour with the knowledge of their imminent destruction. 

The pack communicates effortlessly, moving as one. Silently agreeing on who will attack and who will hang back ready to intercept if necessary. The vampires stand in a close group, back to back as they face outward, surrounded as we approach from either side. They crouch and bare their teeth, snarling in rage and terror as we pause.

_Now!_ The unspoken command from Sam launches us into movement. We spring, a blur of fur and claws and teeth, savage growling filling the air around us. _  
_  
I seize the blond by the throat, he tries to twist away but I have him in a vice-like grip. He tears at me with his hands, ripping out chunks of my fur and gouging into skin and muscle with his fingers, curled like talons. I don’t even flinch. I know that I will heal; the wounds are nothing.

I use my weight to pin him down and I sink my teeth in harder, feeling them cut into his stony flesh. I twist and tear and feel the satisfying snap as his head leaves his body. I cast it aside, spitting him out like poison and proceed to tear the limbs from his torso for good measure until there’s nothing left but shattered pieces of the creature who stole my human boy away.

I finally stop, my chest heaving with exertion and the thrill of the fight. I raise my head and see that Sam and Jared have already finished the dark male. His pieces are scattered on the rocky floor around us. 

But then my attention is caught by an anguished yowl of pain. I turn to see the red-headed female, straddling Jake with her arms wrapped around his shoulders. She’s squeezing him tightly and he’s trying to shake her off but he can’t get free of her. Before I can react I see Leah, a gray blur as she flies across my field of vision and leaps for them. Jake collapses under their combined weight and the female vampire screams, a shrill cry that’s cut off abruptly as her head is severed from her shoulders by my sister’s teeth. Leah tosses her body aside and leaves it for Quil and Embry to dismantle as she phases back to her human form and crouches over Jake’s body. 

“Jake,” her voice is urgent, hoarse. She touches him gently, feeling for damage.

He phases back and in his human form his injuries are obvious. His back is bleeding from scratches and dark purple bruises are already forming on his skin. His shoulder is grossly distorted, obviously dislocated. He moans in pain as Leah kneels over him, distress obvious on her face. 

“Carlisle,” she cries urgently.

The blond vampire is there in an instant. He checks Jake over, frowning in concern.

“I need to put your shoulder back now, Jake, it can’t wait. If your body tries to heal itself it will only be harder to fix this later. I’m sorry... it’s going to hurt.”

“That’s okay, Doc,” Jake’s voice is tight with pain. “Just do it.”

The other wolves are helping the rest of the Cullens deal with the remains of the vampires. Piling up the pieces and making a fire to destroy them once and for all. But I phase back to human, worried for Jake.

“Can I help?” I offer.

Carlisle looks at me. “Hold him still while I reset his arm. I’ll need to pull hard and you need to resist my force, keeping him in place. Leah -- just hold his other hand and distract him as much as you can.”

“Okay,” she nods, moving into position. “Jake, look at me,” she says and he turns his head to do as she asks. “Squeeze my hand,” she fixes her eyes on his. “But you need to know that if you break my fingers you’re in big, fucking trouble -- okay?”

Jake chuckles despite himself and at that moment Carlisle pulls and Jake cries out as his shoulder joint pops back into place. Leah yells too and winces as Jake grabs her hand tightly. 

“Sorry,” he says weakly, chuckling again. “Are you still in one piece?” He loosens his grip, holding her hand gently now, examining her fingers carefully.

“Yeah, I think so,” she grimaces jokingly. But her eyes are soft as she looks at him and he keeps a hold of her hand. 

Carlisle catches my eye and we move away, giving them a moment together.

The fire is lit now and the sweet, choking smoke curls up toward the sky as the vampires burn. I feel exhilarated, strong and powerful; glad to have been a part of removing their evil from the world. 

By the time we’re ready to leave my cuts are already healing, and although Jake’s shoulder is still painful he’s able to shift back to wolf form and keep up with the rest of us. Leah stays close to him I notice, and her thoughts are guarded when I nudge at them, curious about what seems to be growing between her and Jake.

The Cullens run with us, and when we reach Forks we stop. Sam phases back to his human form briefly to thank them for their help. I still feel the waves of Paul’s silent disapproval and mistrust but the rest of the pack seem to have accepted the Cullens as allies. 

_Thank you_ , I say to my fellow wolves. _Thanks for helping me find Riley. I’m going to go with the Cullens now. I need to see him._

__I shift to human form before I have a chance to hear their reaction. I don’t want to know what they’re thinking at the moment, my focus is on Riley.

I turn to Sam first. “Are you going to tell Kathy what’s happened to him?”

“I have to, I don’t think there another way,” his face is grim. 

“Take my mom with you. If you explain it to her she can help -- Kathy shouldn’t be left alone.”

“Okay,” he nods. 

I turn to the Cullens now.

“Can I come with you?” I address Carlisle. “Riley went with Edward and Alice, and I want to see him.”

“Of course,” Carlisle smiles kindly at me. 

I shift back to wolf form and close my mind to the pack as best I can as I run with the Cullens until we reach their home.

I’ve never been there before and it’s amazing, a peculiar modern-looking structure that somehow manages not to look out of place in the woods that surround it. Maybe it’s because so much of the house is made of glass and reflects the greenery around it that it blends in well. 

We stop in the driveway. 

“Jasper,” Esme speaks. “Can you go tell Edward that Seth’s here to see Riley... and fetch Seth some pants to wear?”

I’m touched at the gesture. I’m kind of used to being naked in front of people with all the phasing of the past couple of days, but it’s always easier to have serious conversations with people if your junk isn’t on display to the world. 

The others go into the house, just Esme and Carlisle stay to keep me company. When Jasper returns with a pair of jeans for me I shift back and pull them on gratefully. 

“Come in,” Esme says kindly.

She shows me through to a large living room. This one room is probably bigger than the whole of my mom’s house. She invites me to sit and I perch uncomfortably on the edge of a cream leather couch, looking around at the immaculately decorated interior.

They leave me alone and I wait anxiously. I’m desperate to see Riley, my body tense with anticipation. I hear footsteps and stand expectantly but sag in disappointment when I see Edward entering the room alone.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “He’s not ready to see you right now.” 

I’m shocked at how painful it is to hear those words; they feel like a physical blow to my chest. I need to see Riley so badly. I can’t understand how it isn’t the same for him. Doesn’t the imprint mean anything to him now? 

“It’s not that,” Edward continues. “It’s not that he doesn’t want to see you. His feelings for you are as strong as ever -- I can see that without him needing to explain it to me. But he can’t forgive himself for what he did. He’s full of self-loathing, shame. It’s hard for him to face you right now.”

“But I love him,” I say. As if that’s all that matters. And to me, it really is. I think I could forgive Riley anything.

“I know you do,” Edward replies. “And Riley knows it too, but he doesn’t think he’s good for you anymore. He thinks you deserve better.”

“Even if that were true, I don’t have a choice, Edward. Riley is my imprint. As long as he exists he’s the center of my universe.”

Edward is silent for a moment, sorrow and understanding in his face as he meets my eyes. He nods. “I know, Seth. But Riley needs time; time to come to terms with what he is now, and what that means.”

I want to yell, to cry, to demand to see him. But I’m defeated, exhausted and I have no fight left in me. I swipe at my eyes angrily as hot tears build. 

“I understand what he’s going through, Seth,” Edward says. “I’ll do my best to help him. We all will. Go back to the Res now. Eat. Sleep. Give me your number, I’ll stay in touch.”

He passes me his cell and I plug my number into it and hand it back. 

“Okay,” I shrug. “Tell him I love him... that I don’t care what he’s done. I will _always_ want to be with him.”

“I will,” Edward says.

I leave with a heavy heart, weighed down by longing and exhaustion.

XOXOXOX

When I get home I hear the sound of voices coming from the living room. I push the door open and find Mom there with Kathy. Kathy’s face is tear-stained and she’s twisting a ragged tissue in her hands.

Mom stands and rushes to greet me, standing on tiptoes to throw her arms around me, holding me close. I squeeze her back and press my face into her hair, smelling her familiar, comforting scent. The scent of home.

I break away from her and turn to Kathy, who stands and faces me.

“I’m so sorry,” hot tears streak down my cheeks as I meet her eyes. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t get there in time to stop it from happening.”

Her face crumples and I take her in my arms. We cling to each other and cry, sharing our pain but taking little comfort in it. I want to be able to reassure her, to tell her that everything will be okay. But I’m so afraid that it won’t be and I don’t have any words right now that will help.

Finally I extract myself, unable to meet her eyes as I mumble my excuses. Exhaustion is taking over my body now. I can hardly drag myself to bed. I’m dimly aware that I’m ravenously hungry but that can wait. Sleep is a necessity.

I collapse on my bed, still dressed in Jasper’s jeans. I don’t even have the energy to pull the curtains to block out the daylight, or get under the covers. I’m asleep within seconds; blissful, dreamless sleep that helps my body heal and gives my mind a break from everything for just a little while.

**  
Chapter 16  
**   
**Riley**

****The Cullens are kind to me. They treat me carefully, gently, giving me time and space. When Seth came over, wanting to see me, Edward understood why I couldn’t handle seeing him. I didn’t even have to put it into words, thanks to Edward’s ability to read the thoughts of others. I’m glad he was able to see and understand. I’m not ready to face Seth again yet. Even though part of me is longing to see him, I’m too confused, too ashamed. I need time to think.

And I have all the fucking time in the world now. 

I’m no longer living but I’m not dead either. The undead. It sounds ridiculous; the stuff of horror movies and Halloween costumes. But I can’t deny it. 

Even as I threw myself off the bridge I already knew in my heart that it wouldn’t hurt me. A tiny part of me hoped for oblivion, for an end to everything. But as I plunged through the air a strange exhilaration filled me, despite the horror that I was still feeling at what I’d done. And as I sank deep into the cold water and realized that I didn’t need to breathe anymore I truly understood what I am now. Vampire, immortal. 

I felt the impact as Seth’s wolf form smashed into the water beside me, the shockwaves passing through the water as he struggled, fighting to find the surface. I didn’t pause to think and he was in my arms before I had a chance to realize what I was doing. He was in his human form again, all hot skin and pulsing blood beneath as I saved him.

I lie on my back staring at the ceiling. The bed in the Cullen’s spare room is comfortable, I suppose, although such things are largely irrelevant to me now. Edward has explained to me that I won’t sleep now, that they only have beds for appearance’s sake. My body is incapable of fatigue but I take comfort from pretending to be human. So I lie still, watching the shadows from the movement of the trees outside play over the blank white canvas of the ceiling, while my mind whirls endlessly. 

I think about Seth, about how he felt in my arms. So familiar, yet everything was different to how it was when I was human. Before he was stronger than me, I felt protected by him. Now we’re equal in strength but impossibly different in every other way. His skin was so hot under my touch, his scent intense, alluring. I could hear the powerful beat of his heart, the swoosh of blood in his veins, but his wolf-scent meant that he didn’t trigger my appetite. I know that I would never want to feed from him.

The thought of feeding makes my throat burn again, the ache ever-present. Edward and Alice explained how it’s something that they have learned to control, to ignore. I clench my fists, twisting them brutally into the fabric of the bedcover as the memory of the man in the alley assaults my senses. I’m filled with shame and nausea at the memory of what I did, of how he looked when I was finished with him. But at the same time I can’t stop myself from recalling the sweet flavor of his blood, the delicious warmth as I sucked it into my throat, swallowing greedily, insatiable. 

I can’t stay still any longer; I’m up on my feet, pacing the room, tearing at my hair. Trying to fight the monster inside me that wants to break free, run from this house, run to find another human to feed from.

A snarl rips from my throat. I’m so angry, filled with self-hatred and desperation.

I turn at the sound of the door and my instincts make me crouch defensively, teeth bared.

It’s Edward.

“I think I should take you hunting. Is that what you want, Riley? I can show you how my family hunt, how we feed.”

I nod, unable to speak over the burn in my throat.

“Come along then,” he turns and I follow.

XOXOXOX

We run through the forests. Edward is fast, the fastest in his family he tells me. I have to work hard to match his pace. He challenges me, pushing me to my limits and I find myself enjoying it. We run through the trees, leaping boulders and stream beds and it’s thrilling to be so strong, so powerful. 

“It is kind of amazing isn’t it?” he says and I realize he’s reading my thoughts again. “Yes, sorry,” he chuckles. “Force of habit. My family have learned to concentrate on irrelevant facts if they want to keep me out of their heads.”

I find myself smiling for the first time since I became what I am. A warm feeling creeps through me and I feel a tentative tug of hope that I can still find happiness despite everything.

We run high into the mountains, away from humanity. The fresh, exciting scents of the forest surround us and finally Edward pauses. “Can you hear them? Smell them?” He asks me.

I tune into my new and unfamiliar senses.

I hear the multiple thuds of large, slow heartbeats and catch the musky scent on the breeze. I wrinkle my nose, it’s not appealing in the slightest. “What are they?” I ask.

“Elk,” Edward replies. “Sounds like a large group of them.”

“And you eat them?” The uncertainty is clear in my tone.

“Sometimes,” he shrugs. “Carnivores generally taste better but we hunt whatever we can find. Shall we?” he gestures in the direction of the herd.

“How... what do I do?”

“Just go with your instincts, they won’t let you down.”

“Okay,” I nod. “Let’s do it.”

We circle and approach from downwind. The animals will recognize us as predators, Edward tells me, so we want to stay unobserved as long as possible. We move silently, stalking them, keeping in the trees at the edge of an open patch of land where the herd are grazing. I feel a shiver of excitement run through me, delicious tension and anticipation.

When we’re as close as we can get to them without them seeing us we pause. I catch Edward’s eye and he grins at me. Then he gestures with his hand, an unmistakable sign to move.

I let my body explode into movement, aware of Edward beside me as we fly out from the cover of the trees, moving so quickly that we’re on the herd before they have time to react. I see a large female on the edge of the herd and I leap for her, straddling her and pulling her head back as she tries to flee, shaking me off. I twist her neck and feel her collapse beneath me. She falls and I kneel over her, my teeth tearing through hide and flesh until I feel the warm blood pumping into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat and making me gag even as I gulp and swallow greedily. It tastes strange to me; my vampire senses know that this isn’t quite right but it sates my thirst and quells the burning. I drink until I’m full and the elk is still beneath me.

I raise my head, wiping the blood that trickles down my chin with the back of my hand, and look to see where Edward is. He’s crouched over his own kill, still drinking. As I watch he pulls away and straightens up, grinning at me.

“What did you think?”

“Could be worse, I guess,” I reply. 

“You get used to it,” he stands and walks toward me. 

“And do you stop wanting human blood?” I say, hopefully.

“No,” he shakes his head, his strange golden eyes sympathetic as he looks at me. “You always want it. But it gets better; you can resist it if you really want to. And it’s always easier if you do it from the start. That’s why most of my family has such good control around humans, because most of them have only rarely or never fed on human blood. Jasper is the only one of us who had many years of feeding on humans and that’s why he finds it more difficult than the rest of us.”

“Have you?” I don’t say the exact words, but he knows immediately what I’m asking.

“Yes,” his face is taut, strained. “I couldn’t keep to Carlisle’s way of living at first. I broke away for a while, rebelled against the restrictions that I felt he was imposing on me. But I couldn’t live with myself like that... and he accepted me back. That was many years ago and I haven’t fed on humans since.”

I’m silent for a while. I can see the guilt on Edward’s face and I feel my own weighing heavy inside me, as I remember the man in the alley. I want to ask Edward more about how he deals with that, but I’m not sure I’m ready to have that conversation yet, so I switch the subject back to where we were a moment ago.

“So it might not be too difficult for me to learn to be like you?” I say hopefully.

“Maybe not,” he says. “You have the motivation. I can see your bond with Seth, how much that matters to you. Loving someone helps,” his lips curve in wistful smile.

“Does Bella help you?” I ask. I can’t imagine how he can bear the torture of being close to her. It must be bad enough just sitting near humans in class, but touching her? kissing her?

He winces and I know he’s seen my thoughts. “It is hard, particularly because her blood calls to me like no other. But because I love her so much, I know that I would never deliberately harm her,” he looks distressed. “But I still fear that I might hurt her by accident. It makes... certain things difficult...” he trails off, and I think that if he was human he’d be blushing. 

“Oh,” I say, understanding what he means. I guess that I’m lucky that Seth isn’t a normal human. He’s strong, resilient. It would be hard for me to hurt him badly even if I lost control.

“Exactly,” Edward sighs. He’s silent for a while, but I can tell that he’s thinking, deciding whether to continue. Finally he speaks again. “She wants me to change her.”

I don’t know what to say. I’m shocked by his words. Shocked that anyone would choose to give up their human life willingly, to actually want to be like this. I assume from the way that Edward says it that he’s not happy about the idea. “But you don’t want to?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, disheveled from the hunt. “I’m conflicted. A selfish part of me wants to do it and I can’t deny that. I want her to be my equal, so she would never need to fear me. And I want to have her with me forever, by my side for eternity.” He frowns and shakes his head. “But I can’t bear the thought of taking away her chance at a normal life. What if she regrets it once she’s changed and it’s too late for her to change her mind?”

“I can see why you’d be afraid of that,” I say thoughtfully. “But the way I see it, ultimately it’s a choice that she should be allowed to make. Even if you’re the one to turn her, it’s still not your decision to make -- it’s hers.” I try to imagine how I would feel if I were Bella. If she feels for Edward how I feel for Seth, then I can understand how she would be prepared to give up her humanity for an eternity with Edward. 

His lips twist in a sad half-smile. “That’s what she tells me. But even if we decide to do it there’s still the issue of the pack to deal with.”

“The pack?” I question, not understanding. 

“If I change Bella -- even at her request -- I’ll be violating the terms of the treaty with the Quileutes. Bella and I would need to leave and I could never return to Forks. I don’t want to leave my family, or ask them to leave with us; they have a life here for now. And Bella’s father is here too and she’s hoping she can somehow manage to maintain a relationship with him after she’s changed.”

“Oh,” I frown. “I see.” I’m not sure what else to say. 

I feel for Edward and am uncomfortably aware of the parallels in our situations. Even if I can learn how to control my need for human blood, I have no idea whether the pack will ever be able to accept me and allow Seth to be with me. And if that’s the case I don’t know what that would mean for our future.

“Come on,” Edward says. “There’s no point worrying about it for now. We might both find a way through this. Let’s go and find a stream and clean ourselves up. You’re a mess.” His voice is teasing.

I look down at myself. My shirt is covered in drying blood, my hands stained red from holding the Elk down while I fed. I can only imagine what my face looks like. Edward is a little blood-smeared too but seems to have got the hang of hunting less messily than me.

“It takes practice,” he grins, answering my thoughts again. I wonder how long it takes to get used to that. He just smirks at me and I know he heard that thought too.

As we follow the scent and sound of running water, walking at human speed for now, I find myself wondering about Edward and Bella’s future.

“Can’t Alice see what happens with Bella?” I ask. Edward and Alice had explained both of their abilities to me on the journey back from Seattle. “And couldn’t Alice see what happens with Seth and me?”

“It’s not as straightforward as you’d think,” Edward explains. “There can be more than one possible future at any point in time, so Alice’s visions can always change. So far she has seen Bella both ways. She can see her growing old as a human, but also as a vampire. Bella’s future is undecided until some key event will shape it. But for you, she’s been unable to see far into your future at all. But she thinks that it’s because she can’t see the pack... so the most likely explanation is that you will be with Seth in your future.” He turns, smiling. “So you see... you really might find a way through this.”

I smile back, hopeful again -- but still finding it hard to imagine. My mind turns to Seth and I’m assaulted by memories of our time together. His smile and the sound of his laughter; the warm press of his lips on my skin and the touch of his hands; the feeling of him moving inside me, the expression on his face as he comes. I feel my cock stir for the first time since I’ve been changed. Edward clears his throat beside me and I suddenly realize with mortification that he’s probably seen everything that just flew through my head. _Shit_ \-- now I know how Seth felt with the pack seeing his innermost thoughts all the time.

“Sorry,” I mutter.

“It’s okay,” Edward shrugs. “Really. I’m used to it. I know far more about my family’s sex life than anyone ever should.”

I chuckle. “Ew, that must be weird.”

“Yeah,” he wrinkles his perfect nose. “Like I say, I’m used to it by now. I’m like a priest in the confessional; it never goes any further.”

We reach the stream and wash ourselves in companionable silence, the icy water feeling only slightly cool on my new skin. The sun peeks out from between the clouds for a moment as I push up my shirt sleeves, and I laugh in wonder when I see the light reflecting on my arms. The drops of water gleam like diamond studs on my diamond skin. It’s beautiful.

**Chapter 17  
**   
**Seth**

****When I wake my body is stiff, aching from overuse. But my cuts and scratches are fully healed and my mind is clear. I grab my phone from the nightstand and curse when I see that the battery is dead. I plug it in to charge and as the screen lights up the clock says ten. It’s dark outside, I’ve been asleep for hours. Just then a text flashes up on the screen.

_From Edward, just so you have my number_

__I save the number to my address book so that I can call him later.

With the need for sleep dealt with, next I need food and a shower. My stomach clenches painfully at the thought, so I decide to prioritize eating. I pass Leah’s door, which is closed. I wonder whether she’s here, sleeping, or whether she’s already gone out again. I head through to the kitchen and find a note on the table. 

_Seth,  
I’m with Kathy at her house, I’ll be staying there tonight. Please call Sam when you wake.  
See you later  
Mom_

__Sam can wait. I need food and I need it now.

Several sandwiches, some chips and a giant glass of milk later my hunger is taken care of. I shower next, putting off calling Sam until I’m ready to go out. I know he’ll want to see me and I’m anxious about facing him and the rest of the pack. 

I think about Riley as the warm waters flows over me, remembering the time that we showered together. The softness of his skin, the heat of his ass as I touched him there for the first time. A jolt of arousal shoots through me but it’s tempered by longing and pain for everything that I’ve lost, everything that Riley’s lost. I grip my cock as it stiffens but I can’t bring myself to try and find release. I don’t want the touch of my own hand. I want Riley. Hot tears escape from my eyes and mingle with the water from the shower as I rinse myself clean.

Once I’m dried and dressed I call Sam.

“Hi,” I say. 

“Hey, Seth. You okay?” His deep voice is gentle and it makes my eyes prickle again.

“Fine,” I reply abruptly. “So, what’s going on?”

“Can you come over to my place? We need to talk.”

“Just me? Or will the rest of the pack be there?” I know I’ll have to deal with them eventually but it’s not something I’m looking forward to.

“It will just be me and Emily,” Sam replies. “I want to see you on your own before we meet with the council tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I feel relieved knowing that I only have to face Sam for now. “I’ll be there in ten.”

XOXOXOX

Emily opens the door to me and pulls me into her arms for a spontaneous hug.

“I’m so sorry, Seth,” she murmurs and I pull back, blinking to stop treacherous tears from filling my eyes again.

I follow her through to the kitchen and find Sam sitting at the table, eating as usual. Their house smells permanently of baking and my mouth waters even though I’ve just eaten. He rises to greet me and claps me on the shoulder with his huge hand as he says my name.

“Sit down, help yourself to a muffin. They’re good.”

“Of course they are,” I grin. “Everything Emily bakes is awesome.”

She smiles at me and joins us at the table.

“Have you seen Riley yet?” Sam asks me.

“Not since Seattle,” I reply. “He’s with the Cullens. I spoke with Edward but Riley wanted some time.” My voice betrays the hurt that I feel. I find it painful that he was able to refuse to see me. I know that if it was the other way around I wouldn’t be able to stay away from him. But I’m the one who’s imprinted on him; I guess the bond doesn’t work exactly the same in both directions. 

“I’m sure it’s not easy for him either,” Emily offers. “I’m sure that he will want to see you, that he _does_ want to see you. Maybe he’s trying to protect you.”

“Maybe,” I shrug, folding and twisting the paper muffin cup in my fingers, avoiding their eyes. “Mainly I think he’s feeling guilty, ashamed. You know he killed a man?” I look at Emily, wondering if Sam’s told her everything. 

She nods, her face sad and she reaches out her hand and takes mine, squeezing hard. “But he couldn’t help it could he?”

“No, I don’t believe he could. I talked to Edward and Alice, they explained as much as they could to me about how it would have been for him, how impossible it is to resist the instinct to feed.” My voice breaks as I look down at the table again. “If only I could have gotten to him in time.”

“Seth,” Sam’s deep voice is soft. “You’re not to blame for this anymore than Riley is. The whole pack needs to take some responsibility. He was taken on our territory and we failed to protect him.”

“So what happens now?” I cut to the most important question of all. “Can he ever come home?”

“I don’t know, Seth,” Sam replies. “I’m not sure that we could ever have him living back on the Res. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t work something out. If he can learn to be like the Cullens and to control his thirst, then maybe there’s a way that you can still be with him. But for now we need to focus on ensuring that he’s not a threat to humans. If we can be sure that he’ll only be hunting animals then I’ll make sure that the pack don’t try to harm him. I know that some of them are unhappy about him coming back to Forks at all, but if I command them to leave him alone they have to follow my orders.”

“Okay,” I say. “I want to talk to Riley and I’m hoping he’ll agree to see me soon. But in the meantime I can contact Edward and find out how he’s doing. I don’t think he wants to kill again and if anyone can help him, the Cullens can.” I chuckle ironically, amused despite myself. “They’re like rehab for vampires.”

Sam barks out a laugh as Emily giggles and the mood lightens for a moment.

“Is Leah okay?” Sam asks.

“I haven’t seen her, why?”

“I just wanted to make sure that she was okay after the fight. Although I don’t think she was injured at all.” Sam smiles. “She did an amazing job at taking down the female vamp.   
If the red-haired bitch had gotten her arms around Jake’s throat I don’t like to think about what might have happened.”

I shiver, realizing what a close a call Jake had, and I feel proud of my sister. “I guess she’s probably still sleeping. I’ll check on her when I get home.”

“Okay,” Sam pushes back his chair and stands, indicating that the meeting is over. “Go back home, try and get some more sleep. We’ll meet with the rest of the pack and the council tomorrow night. See what you can find out about Riley and his intentions before then.”

“I will,” I nod. “Thanks.” I smile gratefully at them both and Emily hugs me again on the doorstep as I leave.

XOXOXOX

I get back home around midnight and let myself in quietly. I know that Mom won’t be there and there’s still no sign of Leah, the house is in darkness. 

I turn the hallway light on and kick my shoes off. Although I know I should probably try and sleep again -- especially since I have school tomorrow -- I’m not tired again yet, so I figure I’ll watch some TV for a while and try to unwind.

I decide to go and check on Leah first. After all of my fears and anxieties of the last few days, I can’t rest until I’m sure she’s safe. I creep quietly down the hallway to her bedroom door and turn the handle gently, trying not to let it click. I push the door open and step inside. The glow from the hallway through the partially open door casts a wide band of soft yellow light into the room. As I move aside so that my shadow is no longer blocking the bed, I see my sister and my jaw nearly hits the floor when I realize that she’s not alone. 

She’s curled up in her narrow bed, fast asleep, facing toward the door and Jake is lying behind her. His arms are wrapped around her protectively and her hair mingles with his on the pillow. Jake is shirtless but I notice that Leah isn’t. I’m glad about that -- I feel like a creeper as it is, intruding on this scene of intimacy. But I pause to look at them for a moment longer, I can’t help myself. The soft hush of their breathing is the only sound in the room, and the pain and anger that has so often marred their features recently is nowhere to be seen. They look so peaceful, so beautiful. I smile and my heart tugs as I remember the night that Riley slept in my bed like this.

I turn and leave them, closing the door silently behind me. 

I settle down on the couch in the living room and call Edward’s number. He answers quickly.

“Hi, Seth, how are you?”

“Okay, thanks, caught up on some sleep. How’s Riley doing?”

“Not bad,” Edward replies. “We went hunting earlier; he drained an elk and wasn’t too disgusted.”

“That’s promising I guess.” I find it hard to picture Riley doing this. In my mind he’s still the boy he was before. It’s weird trying to imagine him bringing down a huge animal and drinking its blood. 

“I think so,” Edward says. “He’s motivated, Seth. He really doesn’t want to feed on humans.”

“Can I speak with him?” I ask, desperate to hear his voice. “Will he talk to me?”

“I’ll see, hold on.” 

The line goes quiet for a little while and I wait anxiously, steeling myself for disappointment if Riley refuses to talk with me again.

Finally I hear his voice. “Hi, it’s me.”

I let out a sigh of relief. Just hearing his voice soothes me, alleviates some of the pain caused by our separation. “Hi, Riley. How are you doing?”

“Okay, I guess. It’s weird, there’s so much new stuff to get used to. My senses are constantly overwhelmed and with not being able to sleep, I never get a break... it’s intense.”

“I guess it must be.” I know about the sensory changes, I’ve been there, but I can’t imagine what it must be like not to have the respite of sleep. “So, Edward said that he took you hunting?”

“Yeah,” Riley chuckles. “It was strangely fun, the thrill of it was kind of awesome. It’s too bad that animals don’t taste better to me though, that would make things a lot easier.” His voice turns sad and I know that he’s thinking about the man he killed.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” I blurt out, wanting to distract him and voicing the thought that’s uppermost in my mind. “Please,” I add, not above begging. “I miss you so much.”

He sighs before he answers. “I miss you too... but I just feel so ashamed I want to hide myself away. I feel guilty, all the time. And the Cullens keep telling me that I couldn’t help it, that nobody in my position would have been able to resist. But that doesn’t help. I can’t get away from the fact that I killed a man, in the most brutal and violent way possible. And that man had people who loved him, people who’ll be grieving for him.”

“But I don’t blame you for any of it,” I insist. “You know that, I forgive you. I just want to be with you, to touch you.”

“I know,” he sounds frustrated, “I want that too, but it’s just that seeing you, talking with you makes it even harder.”

“I don’t understand,” I shake my head even though he can’t see me, my brow furrowing. 

“I love you so much, Seth. But when I think about you, it makes me think about _him_ and the people who loved him... all the lives I may have ruined from that one moment of losing control. I don’t know how to deal with the guilt that I feel.”

“I get that it’s a huge burden to carry,” I say. “But I just want to help you. I have to see you, I _need_ you.” My voice breaks and I know I sound pathetic but I can’t bring myself to care.

He’s silent for a long time, and I wait, my heart heavy in my chest.

“Okay,” he finally agrees. 

“Tomorrow?” My voice is eager. “I can come by after school.”

“Yeah,” he replies. “And Seth, you do understand right? I do still love you, and part of me is desperate to see you, too... it’s just really hard for me right now.”

“I know,” I say. “I believe that you love me. But it’s hard for me to understand why you have any doubt about seeing me. It’s a little different for you, and I get that. But for me -- because of the imprint -- nothing could keep me away from you. I know that whatever happens, my life is always better if I’m with you.” I guess it doesn’t work quite the same for the ones that we’ve imprinted on, not at that same basic level of need and I try to explain it to him. “Being apart from you is almost like having a limb missing, it’s like part of me is gone.” I can’t keep the pain out of my voice as I try and put my feeling into words. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry that I’m hurting you. We’ll get through this, I really believe it. I just need time.”

“I know,” I sag back on the couch, exhausted and emotional. I have no energy left to talk things through anymore. “Okay, I should go now and try and get more rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you,” he says and I can hear it in his voice so I know it’s true.

“I love you, too.”

XOXOXOX

Amazingly, I sleep soundly despite the fact that I slept half the day away. I guess I’m still exhausted from the events of the past few days. The alarm on my phone wakes me and I haul my ass out of bed and into the shower before getting dressed for school. 

When I make it into the kitchen Leah’s already up and dressed but there’s no sign of Jake. She’s drinking coffee and eating toast and looking quite serene for a change. 

“Hey, Sis,” I greet her with a smile and I’m pleased when she grins back at me. She looks like the old Leah again, the bitterness has gone from her features. “Did you sleep well?” I try not to smirk. I don’t want to ask her about Jake yet, if there’s anything going on I’ll find out soon enough I’m sure -- next time we phase if not before. 

“Yeah, I did,” her cheeks flush slightly and the smile stays on her face. “And are you okay? Did you see Riley?”

“No,” I reply. “He needed some space, but I’m going to see him after school today.”

“And you still feel the same about him? It hasn’t changed?”

I nod. “Yes, the imprint is as strong as ever. He’s stuck with me,” I chuckle but there’s little humor in the sound. “I’m just going to have to convince him that it’s right for him too.”

Leah frowns, “So you think he doesn’t want you anymore?”

“It’s not that,” I sigh. “It’s complicated. He still loves me but he’s having trouble dealing with who he is now... with _what_ he is. But I don’t know how to help him.”

“Maybe you can’t.” I sit down at the table beside her and she puts her hand on my arm. “But if anyone can, the Cullens probably can.”

“I guess so,” I smile weakly. “They can understand how he’s feeling in a way that I never can.”

XOXOXOX

At the bus stop there’s uncomfortable tension between the members of the pack. Paul looks at me with disdain, his lip practically curling before he turns his back on me and ignores me. He’s huddled with Quil and Embry who don’t meet my eye at all. I have to force myself not to react even though I’m furious with them. Causing trouble now isn’t going to help my cause and I don’t want to attract attention from the other kids on the Res. 

Leah sticks close to me and Jared, Kim and Jake join us too. We close ranks, ignoring the others and talk about irrelevant things -- the weather, school work we need to catch up on, plans for the weekend.

I sit alone on the school bus, the empty seat beside me reinforcing the ache in my heart at being apart from Riley. Leah and Jake sit across the aisle from me and include me in their conversation. I watch them carefully but don’t see any obvious sign that their relationship is more than platonic now. But there’s a warmth between them, a closeness that they can’t hide. 

The morning drags by. I’m impatient to get through the day so I can go and see Riley. In the classes that I normally share with him I feel his absence most strongly. 

I catch Alice’s eye in History class and she smiles sympathetically at me. I’m touched by her kindness. After class she catches me in the hallway as we stream out.

“He’s doing okay,” she whispers. “And he sends his love.”

“Thanks,” I say, happy to know that he’s been thinking about me.

“Come and sit with Edward and me at lunch if you like,” she says. “We can talk more then.”

“Okay,” I nod, grateful. “See you later.”

XOXOXOX

When I first reach the cafeteria at lunchtime the Cullens aren’t there, so I sit with Jared and Kim. Quil, Embry and Paul arrive shortly afterward and sit at a different table, barely acknowledging our existence. 

I let out a frustrated sigh. The rift in the pack concerns me, and I feel responsible for it -- not that it’s something I could have helped but I feel guilty anyway. As a pack we depend on each other, we need to be able to trust each other and that trust has been broken. I hope that Sam will be able to make things right. It hurts me that Quil and Embry are ignoring me. I would have expected this kind of shit from Paul, but Quil and Embry are two of my oldest friends. I hate that they’re not supporting me.

Jake and Leah arrive together and sit beside each other. Their casual intimacy is noticeable to me again. I know that something’s changing between them and I’m glad that they seem to be making each other happy. I hope it’ll last. I don’t want to see either of them hurt again. 

I eat, following the conversation at the table but not contributing much, keeping an eye on the door for the Cullen’s arrival. 

Finally they enter, sweeping in en masse with Bella in tow. They go and fill up their trays with food that I know they won’t be eating, and then saunter over to their usual table. Edward catches my eye and jerks his head, inviting me to join them. Alice waves and beckons, grinning excitedly at me, far less subtle than her sibling. I notice curious eyes looking to see who it’s directed at and feel my cheeks flush at being the center of attention.

“I’m going to go talk to Edward and Alice for a while,” I make my excuses. 

“Are the Cullens your BFFs now or what, little brother?” Leah teases, but her smile is amused. The others just grin and carry on eating.

As I walk across to the Cullens table I have to pass Paul and the others. I meet Paul’s angry glare for a moment, holding it and silently daring him to make an issue out of this. Part of me is longing for an excuse to punch him. I haven’t forgiven him for what he said about Riley back in Seattle. His eyes narrow and his nostrils flare but he’s the first to look away. I smirk and carry on walking.

The Cullens greet me with polite smiles as I pull up a chair to join them, apart from Alice who beams and practically bounces in her seat.

“We need to watch him,” Edward says as I sit down. “Paul is full of hate. He doesn’t trust my family and he’s afraid of what Riley could do if he were left to his own devices.”

“What about the others?” I ask. “Quil and Embry? I’m surprised they’ve sided with him, they used to be my friends.”

“Their feelings aren’t so strong,” Edward replies. “They don’t hate my family like he does. They have respect for us since we helped to bring down the coven. But they’re fearful about the presence of a newborn vampire so close to their homes and families... and they find it hard to accept that you’re still bonded to him.”

“So,” I ask, pushing thoughts of Paul and the others aside. “How is he?” 

“He’s doing okay. Esme is staying with him and he fed yesterday so he’ll be fine. If there was any problem at all she’d have called.”

“He said I can stop by to see him after school today,” I smile, my heart lifting at the thought.

“He told me. I can give you a ride if you want?”

“That would be great, thanks.” I hadn’t really thought through the logistics of getting to the Cullens after school and then home again afterwards. 

“I’ll wait for you in the parking lot after school,” he pushes his food around his plate as he talks. He does a remarkable job of pretending to eat while mostly just playing with it. 

“Okay,” I check my watch. It’s nearly time for the first class of the afternoon and I have to get to the library first to find a book I need for homework. “I have to run now, I’ll see you later. Thanks Edward.” I raise my hand to the rest of them, not quite meeting their eyes. I’m quite relaxed around Edward and Alice now, but the others still make me feel a little awkward.

I leave the cafeteria with a smile on my face. I can’t fucking wait to see Riley.

**  
Chapter 18  
**  
 **Seth  
**  
I sit in the passenger seat as Edward drives, while Alice and Jasper take the back seat. Edward’s car is a ridiculously shiny silver Volvo that stands out like a sore thumb in the school parking lot. But I have to admit it drives like a dream, hugging every corner on the tree-lined roads as he drives out of town to their home. 

Although I’m still excited about seeing Riley, I’m anxious too. I’m worried that I won’t be able to get through to him, that he’ll push me away again. I don’t try to hide my thoughts so I know that Edward is seeing them, but he doesn’t say anything. He drives in silence while Alice does most of the talking, as usual.

Jasper speaks to me directly as we get out of the car. “Riley loves you deeply, Seth. I feel it from him when we talk about you. But you need to remember that you’re not the only one who’s frightened; don’t push him too much too soon.”

I don’t know how to reply, so I just nod stiffly. “Okay,” I say. Then I square my shoulders and follow them into the house.

Riley’s in the living room waiting for me. I want to run to him, to hold him, but the presence of the others deters me so I hang back. 

“Hi,” I say, my heart thudding in my chest as I look at him. 

He smiles back at me, “Hey,” he lifts a hand in greeting. 

The other three are still standing around watching us. I feel awkward.

“Can we go somewhere private please?” I know that with their super-human hearing and Edward and Jasper’s unusual abilities they’ll still be able to know exactly what passes between us if they choose to listen in. But I feel inhibited by their physical presence. I want to be alone with my mate.

Riley shrugs and his eyes flit between Edward and Jasper. 

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Jasper’s voice is uncertain.

I huff in irritation. “Why not, for fuck’s sake? He’s not going to hurt me. Anyway I’m more than capable of looking after myself.”

There’s a long silence. 

“Maybe Jasper’s right,” Riley says, his face downcast.

“You have no idea how strong newborn vampires are,” Jasper says seriously. “I’m sorry, Seth but you need to be aware of how much damage he could do to you if he lost control for any reason.”

“He won’t,” I snap through gritted teeth. “You won’t,” I address Riley now, pleading with my eyes. “I know you, and I don’t believe you’ve changed that much. I trust you -- please?”

Riley looks at Edward and something unspoken passes between them.

“Okay,” Riley says. “Let’s go to my room.”

He leads the way, passing close by me, and I catch the new, sweet scent of him, inhaling deeply and wanting to touch him so much that it hurts.

I follow him up the stairs and along a wide, well-lit landing. He opens a door near the end and holds it open, letting me go through first. I’m so close I can smell him again, sweet like sugar and candy, with memories of the boy he was before. I always found the scent of the Cullens cloying, although less repellent than the scent of human-drinking vampires. But Riley smells nothing but good to me.

The room is huge, with one wall that’s practically all window overlooking the forest. There’s a queen sized bed, a desk, a TV, a couch. It’s immaculate, like an expensive hotel room.

“Wow,” I chuckle turning to face him as he closes the door, trying to break the unbearable tension between us. “Nice place you’ve got here.”

He moves to stand opposite me beside the huge window, keeping a safe distance between us.

“I guess,” he smiles, suddenly shy. “They’ve been really kind... the Cullens. They’re nothing like I’d expected. They’re good people.”

“They are,” I agree. You see! I want to tell him. You can be like them; you can be good too. But I keep my mouth shut, mindful of Jasper’s warning. 

There’s another loaded silence as we look at each other. I feel such longing, such overwhelming need to be close to him, to feel his skin under my fingertips, my lips. I clench my fists, my fingernails cutting into my palms as I resist the urge. I’m afraid of being rejected.

Finally Riley breaks the silence.

“So what’s happening back at the Res,” he asks. “What do the pack think about all of this? About me being here?”

I sigh heavily. I don’t want to lie to him. “Some of them -- Paul in particular -- are fearful, angry. They don’t like the situation.” Riley meets my gaze and I try to sound reassuring. “But Sam is supportive, and he’s the one that matters. The others have to do what he says. They’ll get used to it eventually, once they see you’re not a threat.”

“Have you seen them all yet?” he asks.

“We’re meeting tonight to discuss everything,” I reply. “I spoke to Sam last night and saw the others at school.” I don’t bother to mention that Paul, Quil and Embry haven’t spoken to me yet. “Sam wanted me to check with you... to be sure. Have you definitely decided that you’re going to try and be like the Cullens?” I stare at him intently, waiting for his response.

He nods. “Yes,” he replies, his face serious. “I don’t ever want to kill another human, to add to this guilt by taking another life. I’m very sure about it, and I think that I can do it.”

I smile, relieved. “I know you can. I believe in you.”

“Thanks,” Riley’s lips curve tentatively in a fleeting smile but it’s gone almost as soon as it appears.

He turns to look out of the window now, the gray light from the cloudy sky outside gives his pale face a soft sheen. He’s flawless, like a marble statue. His perfectly carved features twist in sorrow as he speaks again. “Is my mom okay?” 

I think about Kathy and the little I’ve seen of her. She was pretty far from okay last night, but I don’t want to upset him. “My mom’s been taking care of her,” I say evasively. “It’s a lot for her to take in.”

His jaw clenches visibly. “Yeah, it sure is,” his voice is laced with pain. “When you see her, tell her that I miss her... that I love her.”

“Of course,” my voice breaks a little as I speak, my self control slipping as I see the distress on his face. 

Riley turns back towards me just as a tear tracks its way down my cheek. He steps close to me and brings a hand to my face, wiping my tears away with cool, careful fingertips and I lose it. The tears that I’ve been trying to hold back escape and I sob, a choked sound that catches in my throat. 

I reach for him blindly and he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight as I soak his shirt with my tears. I feel his face against my neck, cool and soothing against my hot skin as he sobs too. I remember the first time I held him in my arms -- that day in my bedroom when we cried for our fathers. Our lives were so simple back then when we were just two boys who cared about each other. I wish with all my heart that we could be like that again.

Finally we’re silent, except for the sound of my breathing as it slows and steadies. But still we hold each other. I can’t bear to let him go, and cling to him like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood. I pull back just enough that I can rest my forehead against his, hot against cold. 

“I miss you,” I whisper. “I miss us, how things were before. But I love you just as much now, I want you to believe me. You’re still you, Riley.”

“I wish I felt like me,” he murmurs back, his voice barely audible as his soft breath washes over my lips. “I feel like I’ve lost myself.” I tighten my grip on him again but he continues. “But they say it’s normal... that I’ll feel more like my human self again when the newborn phase starts to pass.”

I release him from my arms but bring my hands up to cup his face, looking at his him intently. His eyes have changed from how they were in Seattle; the blood red has softened slightly to a deep orange. He breaks my gaze, looking down and his dark lashes obscure his irises. I run a thumb over his lips. They’re still soft, although they’re cool where they used to be warm, but I find it bothers me less and less the more contact I have with him. I dip my head to brush his mouth with mine, gently, as though asking for permission. He kisses me back with parted lips, the tip of his tongue flickering out to taste me and we both moan as our tongues touch. 

His hands are on my ribs, sliding down to grip my hips. As I deepen the kiss his fingers clench reflexively, painfully tight as he pulls me closer and I can feel him growing hard against me. His scent changes subtly, becoming saltier, muskier, and desire rushes through me, impossibly strong. My hands move around him again, reaching down to clutch his ass and pull him toward me.

But Riley breaks away, gasping and turns his head to the side. “Oh, God, I’m sorry... but I think we should stop this.”

I growl in protest and frustration. “But I want you so badly,” I sound whiny but I don’t give a shit. All my frustrated desire and need to re-claim him surge through me. 

I don’t want to stop. 

“I know you want me.” But he pushes me away and holds my shoulders, keeping me at arm’s length. For the first time I really feel his strength as I resist. “Please, Seth!” he begs. “I want you too, you know I do. But I’m afraid of hurting you. I still don’t know my own body yet, how strong I am now. I’m afraid of losing control around you.”

I sigh heavily, and stop pushing against his hands, dropping mine by my side in resignation. “Okay... I’m sorry too. I know this is hard for you.”

He takes my hands and brings them to his lips. “Thank you for understanding,” he kisses my knuckles sweetly, and then he chuckles. “And you know what? I wouldn’t put it past Edward and Jasper to come and interrupt us if they thought that we were taking things too far. They’re taking their job of newborn-sitting very seriously. So it’s definitely a good thing that we stopped when we did.”

“Fuck, yes. That would be awkward.” I agree, laughing. “Maybe we should leave the door open next time I come to visit?”

“Yeah, maybe,” he smiles at me. And I’m glad to know that he’s okay with the idea of there being a next time, because I want to come and visit as often as possible.

XOXOXOX

Edward drives me back as close as he can to the Res without going over the border into Quileute territory. I phase and run from there, carrying my school bag in my teeth. 

The house is empty when I get home, and I go straight to my room and try and get some homework done. I’m behind with my classes after all the days I’ve missed, so I try and focus and manage to catch up a little. 

I venture out when I hear the front door and find Mom arriving, carrying bags of groceries. I take some of them from her and help her carry them through to the kitchen.

“So how was Kathy last night?” I ask, as I help put the groceries away.

“I think she’s still in shock,” Mom replies. “She didn’t know about any of this before, so her whole belief system has been shattered along with having to deal with the knowledge of what’s happened to her son. I’m not sure it’s all sunk in yet. She slept a little though. I’m going to stay there again with her tonight if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” I nod. “I’m glad she’s got you to look after her.”

“And how’s Riley?” she questions as she turns to put things in the refrigerator.

“Doing pretty well considering,” I reply. “The Cullens are doing a great job of looking after him and helping him come to terms with things. He’s determined that he wants to be like them, but it’s going to take time. The first few weeks are going to be the hardest but it will gradually get easier.”

“That’s good,” she turns and smiles. “That he’s sure that’s what he wants.”

I smile back. “Yeah, it is.” Hope is back in my chest, a warm feeling that pushes aside all the fear and misery of recent days.

I help prepare dinner, just some sauce to go with pasta, and Leah arrives just as Mom’s draining spaghetti and I’m setting the table.

“Perfect timing,” I tease. “You managed to avoid doing anything useful.”

She sticks her tongue out at me, grinning. “Well, I guess I’ll be doing the dishes then.”

“I guess you will,” I smirk. “So where have you been?”

“Studying with Jake,” she replies, not meeting my eyes. I smile and catch Mom grinning too.

We sit at the table together and eat, and the mood is wonderfully light. Everything feels almost normal.

XOXOXOX

By the time we leave for the council meeting I’m feeling jittery again. But as I arrive with Jake and Leah flanking me, and Mom and Kathy behind us I feel supported. I know that Sam is on my side too -- on Riley’s side -- and I hold tight to the fact that Sam’s opinion is the most important of all. 

It’s a mild evening, but we light the fire for tradition’s sake and to give a focal point for the group. I take my seat between Mom and Kathy. Leah sits on Mom’s other side with Jake next to her. Paul deliberately places himself on the opposite side of the circle to me. Embry and Quil flank him, looking a little uncomfortable. I catch Embry’s eyes and he glances away quickly, something flitting across his features that looks a little like guilt. 

Once we’re all assembled, Sam stands to speak and a hush falls around the circle.

“Okay, I know that all of you have heard what happened to Riley. But just in case there has been any variation in the telling I want to make sure you all know the facts.” Kathy takes my hand and I squeeze hers as Sam outlines the event of the past few days for all the people present. I keep my head held high and my eyes fixed on Sam, determined not to show any weakness with Paul present. 

When Sam’s finished speaking he looks around the circle. “I know that you will have questions for me, and for Seth.” All eyes turn to me and I look around the faces of my tribe, unflinching. 

Old Quil breaks the silence. “So, Seth, you are still imprinted despite the fact that the boy is no longer human?” 

Kathy grips my fingers tightly as I reply. “Yes,” my voice is clear. 

“How can you be so sure?” he presses me, a frown on his face. “You were involved with the boy before you imprinted I believe... could this infatuation not just still be the remains of that.”

“I loved him before I imprinted on him, that is correct,” my voice is carefully controlled as I keep a tight leash on my anger at his implications. “But the imprint has held. And with respect, if you had ever felt what it is like to be imprinted on someone, then you would know that it’s not something that you can be uncertain about.” My eyes seek out Sam and Jared and they both nod in agreement. 

Sam speaks up again. “I’ve seen Seth’s bond with Riley and there is no doubt that it’s still there, as strong ever.”

“So, we’re going to allow him to remain with the Cullens?” Old Quil asks. “Do you believe that they can keep him under control? I know that some of us here have their doubts about letting him stay in the area at all.” He glances at Paul who nods and scowls. 

“Yes,” Sam replies. “I believe that the Cullens are more than capable of handling him. But more importantly Riley is determined that he wants to live their lifestyle. He doesn’t want to feed on humans.”

“Well it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it!” Paul bursts out, his voice harsh and angry. “Try telling that to the man he tore apart in Seattle. Do you really want to take the risk that he might do that to someone that you love? To Emily for instance?”

Kathy gasps in horror next to me at Paul’s words and an anguished sob escapes. I drop her hand and stand, squaring my shoulders and facing Paul. Tension rippling through me as I fight the urge to phase. He’s on his feet too, snarling back at me.

“How could you?” I spit at him. “How could you talk like that in front of his mother, you heartless fucker? Riley’s a better person that you could ever be. You have no idea the guilt he’s feeling now, how it’s torturing him... every minute of every day because he can’t even sleep now. If you want to blame someone for this try blaming the vampires who changed him. The vampires who none of us managed to stop before they abducted one of our own!” I’m yelling now, my muscles quivering as I suppress the instinct to launch myself at him. “Riley can’t help what he is now and no one was there to stop him. You have no idea what it was like for him.”

“Seth, enough!” Sam’s voice of authority cuts me off. “And Paul, have some goddamn respect!” Sam turns to look at Kathy who’s sobbing in my mom’s arms. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, Kathy.” 

Sam turns back and looks around the circle again. “I believe that Riley’s intentions are good, and I believe that with the support of the Cullens, he can learn to control his desire for human blood and will be able to be among humans without being a threat.” He pauses for a moment and looks at me directly. “Riley is still Seth’s imprint, his mate for life. And as such, he’s still entitled to the protection of the pack. As long as Riley doesn’t harm another human then no one will harm him. Is that clear?” He directs this at Paul who glowers at him but nods reluctantly. 

The tension ebbs and we all take our seats again, a few people muttering quietly amongst themselves as we settle back down. 

Sam moves on to talk about arrangements for patrol now that the feral coven have been eliminated. He organizes us into small groups, but the duties are light now that the major risk has passed. We are still to take turns in doing a daily tour of the boundaries of our territory, just to check for any out of the ordinary. We’re all happy to carry on doing this; all of us enjoy spending time in our wolf form and having a chance to run in the forest. I’m glad to be put on patrol with Jake and Leah, we work well together. Sam pairs himself with Paul and puts Jared with the other two. 

Once the formal part of the meeting is over we break off into smaller groups for conversation and catching up. Paul doesn’t hang around, leaving as soon as Sam indicates that people are free to go. But Embry and Quil linger. I’m standing with Mom and Kathy when they approach us.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” Embry speaks first, addressing Kathy but his eyes flicker across to me too. “I wish we could have got to him in time.”

“You did your best,” Kathy’s voice is soft. “Thank you.” 

“Okay,” Embry turns to me now. “I’m going to head home, catch up on some homework before bed. See you around, man.”

“Yeah,” I reply. Accepting his wordless apology with a small grin. “See you.”

Quil says nothing but he shoots me an awkward smile as he passes, and I smile back.

I notice that Jake and Leah are deep in conversation with Old Quil, but I’m ready to head home so I decide to leave them to it. 

“I’m going home now,” I say to mom. “Are you coming?”

“No, I’ll walk back with Kathy. I’m staying there again tonight.”

“There’s really no need, Sue,” Kathy protests. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just for tonight,” Mom insists. “It’s no trouble.”

“Okay, thanks,” Kathy smiles. “It does help to have the company.” She rummages in her purse for a moment. “Seth, I nearly forgot! Can you give this to Riley when you see him? Ask him to call me.” She hands me Riley’s cell phone.

“Of course, I’ll give it to him next time I visit. I’m hoping I can go tomorrow.” I find it hard to stay away from him. I hope the Cullens can deal with me going there on a regular basis, wet dog smell and all. 

“I’m so glad that you can still spend time with him,” Kathy looks wistful. “Give him a hug from me.”

“I will,” I nod. “He misses you too... he said to tell you that. And that he loves you.”

I see the tears forming in her eyes, but she’s smiling too. “Thank you,” she whispers.

XOXOXOX

I have the house to myself for half an hour or so. I fix myself a snack first. My wolf metabolism makes me permanently hungry and I hardly ate while Riley was missing so my body seems to be wanting to make up for it now. 

I head to my room and sprawl on my bed, half-heartedly working on an English paper that’s already overdue. My mom had called the school and made excuses for the days that I’ve missed, but I have a lot of catching up to do now that things are back to some sort of a normal routine. I’m glad I won’t have to stay up all night patrolling anymore, that shit was killing me.

I’m starting to feel tired and my mind is drifting when I hear the crunch of footsteps outside and the sound of hushed voices filtering through my partly opened window. There’s a giggle that’s unmistakably Leah and the sound of a deep male voice, then silence for a while but no sound of the front door opening yet. I smile to myself, making assumptions about what they might be doing. 

When I finally hear the door opening and closing and then the sound of the TV through the wall, I get up and go and find Leah in the living room, flipping between channels.

“Hi,” I greet her and she sits back and grins at me.

“Hi, you okay?” she asks. “You know... after the meeting and what Paul said.”

“Yeah,” I shrug. “He can’t do anything now that Sam’s told him how things are going to be. He’ll get over himself eventually.”

“I hope so,” Leah frowns. “I’m fed up of his moody shit already.”

“And you... are you okay?” I raise my eyebrows and grin at her. “You’re almost like your old self again and I think Jake might have something to do with that. Am I right?”

She flushes and nods. “Yeah,” she says the smile creeping across her face again. “I guess he does.”

“I’m glad,” I say, moving to sit beside her. I pause, not wanting to rain on her parade, but there’s something that’s been worrying me, and I know that she’ll be thinking about it too so I have to ask. “But what if one of you imprints? I know that Sam, Jared and I are the only ones who have so far. But didn’t the elders think that it would happen to all of us eventually?”

Leah’s face falls as I speak and she sighs. “Nobody knows for sure. We were talking to Old Quil about it earlier -- he’s the one who knows the most about the legends. He’s starting to wonder now whether it isn’t something that happens to all the shifters. He thinks that if it’s going to happen for everyone it would have happened to more of us by now. So maybe the three of you who have imprinted are the exceptions, not the rule. The legends don’t make it clear.”

“Okay,” I frown, trying to make sense of it. “I guess that could be true. I mean... it was really soon after I first phased for me. It wasn’t until I saw Riley that I was sure, but even before I saw him I think I knew. That was why I couldn’t stay away from him.”

“Yeah,” she says and bites her lip. “And with Jared it was right away. And with Sam it was just days, too.” I can see that it still hurts her to talk about it. “So maybe I never will, maybe Jake never will. I don’t know... maybe this sounds crazy but sometimes I wonder if Jake and I can’t imprint because of Sam and Bella, like somehow they were the ones that we needed -- but we can’t have them?”

“I guess,” I say, still unsure.

“But this thing with Jake... it’s very new and we’re not rushing into anything. I just really like him and we understand each other and it’s nice to feel happy again.” She continues. “And the way that we see it, we could spend the rest of our lives waiting to imprint and being alone, or we can take a chance and hope that this could work out for both of us.”

I can’t argue with that, so I just smile and say “I hope so.”

 

**Chapter 19  
**   
**Riley**

****Time passes slowly when you know that you have forever.

The seconds trickle by like sand in a never-ending hourglass as eternity stretches out before me.

I wonder if the Cullens ever get used to having so much time to think. 

I remember when I was a kid and had been learning about space at school, I’d lie in bed at night and let my mind wander. I’d think about the planets in our solar system, the galaxies beyond. I’d bend my mind out, trying to imagine the unimaginable vastness of infinity, pushing myself to that point where I felt insignificant, tiny, a pinprick of nothing in the fabric of the universe. 

Now I’m struggling with the concept of _living_ forever -- if this strange new existence can be called living. My future unfolds ahead of me, uncertain, potentially endless. I wonder if I’ll live to see another world war, a cure for cancer, another ice age. 

I wonder whether it will be possible for Seth to be by my side through all or any of it. 

I understand from things that Seth has said, and from what Carlisle knows about the shifters, that while they’re technically mortal, they don’t age as long as they continue to change into their wolf form regularly. So, in theory, Seth can effectively be immortal with me if that’s the life that he chooses. 

I can’t wrap my head around it; the idea of living forever is strange and terrifying. I never understood why people in fantasy novels and movies ever aspired to eternal life; it’s certainly not something that I’d ever wished for. But I guess that if Seth can be with me then it’s not all bad.

My head whirls with these thoughts and I pace the length of my room as the night changes to day outside my window. 

I remember that it’s Saturday and I'm glad that I’ll have more company today. I feel strangely dependent on the Cullens already, particularly on Edward who’s been so kind to me. From the little I’d seen of him around school before I was changed, I’d always expected him to be aloof and unapproachable. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Edward’s kind and sensitive and endlessly patient with me. He’s always prepared to take the time to explain things to me when I’m confused by any aspect of my new life.

I hear the sound of his piano from along the hallway and I find myself moving toward his room, drawn by the music. 

The door’s ajar and I stand in the doorway and listen, entranced, as his fingers coax a haunting melody from the keys. I feel a smile creep over my frozen features at the beauty of the sound.

“Come in,” he says over the sound of his playing. So I enter the room and stand beside him, watching the play of his hands, admiring his skill.

He segues from one piece into another without a break. I lose myself in the music for a while but then I find myself wondering about Edward, about his past. There are things I want to ask him, things that I hope he can help me with.

He stops playing and turns on the bench, lifting his face to look at me from his seated position.

“Ask me,” he says. “I’m happy to answer your questions.”

“Tell me about the people you killed,” I ask bluntly. “I want to know how it made you feel, and how you feel about it now.”

“Okay,” he stands and moves to the window, his back to me as he looks out into the gray-green light of the early morning forest.

“Well, as I told you, I didn’t feed from humans at first. Carlisle changed me and taught me to be like him. But after a while I rebelled against him, and Esme who had joined us by then. I started to resent him for suppressing my true nature and I longed to taste the thing that my body really craved.” 

The constant low-level burn in my throat increases exponentially at his words, I swallow it down, fighting it as he continues.

“I used my abilities to help me find victims that I deemed to be suitable,” his voice is tightly controlled and I know that this is hard for him to talk about. “I only hunted people who I knew were evil, who harmed others. I justified their deaths by convincing myself that they deserved it, that I was somehow doing society a favor by ridding the world of the scum that I drained.”

“Then what changed?” I ask with interest. His logic seems pretty flawless to me, albeit rather brutal.

“I realized that I was playing God and that I have no right to do that. And I was doing it for ultimately selfish reasons, to satisfy my own thirst, my own need for human blood.” Edward turns to face me now and his expression is grim. “But most of all,” he frowns, almost wincing. “I could _hear_ them... what they were thinking when I bit them, when I hurt them. I could hear their pain and terror and I could see myself the way that they saw me. It was like looking in a mirror and I saw a monster reflected back. I didn’t want to be a monster anymore.”

My head is filled yet again with images of the man in the alley at the back of the club. They flit through my mind as though they’re on a cinema screen, larger than life, impossible to ignore, horrific in the clarity of the details. 

“But how do you live with it now?” I ask. I want him to tell me that the guilt goes away, that I won’t feel this burden forever. 

“I live with it because I have to,” he replies. “What choice do I have? I made decisions that I now regret but I can’t go back and change things. It wasn’t until I met Bella that I truly believed that I deserved to be loved. Even now I still feel as though I shouldn’t be this lucky, but every day she convinces me. Letting her love me has been part of me forgiving myself. And now... the memories of what I did just make me all the more determined that I will never take a human life again.”

His golden eyes burn into me, passionate and intense. “You are deserving of Seth’s love, Riley. Don’t deny him happiness because you can’t forgive yourself. And if you’re not ready to forgive yourself yet, let him love you anyway and maybe he can help you heal.”

I draw in a breath and let it out slowly; human habits die hard. “Thank you,” I say. “I’ll try.”

He smiles at me then, his beautiful face softening. “So... do you want to do something to kill some time? Do you play chess?”

“Um... not really,” I say. “I know the basics but I’m no good at it.”

“That’s okay,” he grins. “I’ll teach you, we’ve got plenty of time for you to learn.”

“Okay then,” I shrug. “I guess I need to find some new ways of passing all this time that I have now.”

“The chess set’s in the living room,” he gestures toward the door and I lead the way downstairs, my heart imperceptibly lighter in my chest, another small burden lifted after our conversation.

XOXOXOX

Seth calls Edward’s phone later in the morning and I speak to him again. Just the sound of his voice makes me smile. He wants to come and visit again this afternoon and that’s fine with me. We’ve agreed to try and take things slowly and I see it as a good lesson in self-control, albeit one relating to a different kind of appetite. 

I spend the morning hanging out with the Cullens, getting to know them all a little better. Aside from Edward and Alice, I find Emmett the easiest to talk to. He’s good-natured and uncomplicated and I feel relaxed with him. Esme is adorable, but being around her makes me miss my mom like crazy. Carlisle is very kind to me and I like and respect him, but I’m a little in awe of him. And although Jasper is perfectly pleasant, he’s a little aloof, and I’m kind of intimidated by him, especially when I hear more about his past. Rosalie just scares the crap out of me. I assume she must have a good side as Emmett’s obviously devoted to her, but I haven’t seen evidence of her softer side yet so I try to stay out of her way. 

I have no need to hunt today but plan to go with the others when they hunt tomorrow. They’ll need to feed before school on Monday, and I’ll join them, mainly for the opportunity to get out of the house again, but also because feeding regularly is helpful for me. The constant burn in my throat is still present, but it’s easier to ignore today with the blood of the elk still heavy in my belly. 

When I hear the door bell I race to answer it, opening the door with a smile on my face to find Seth there, grinning back at me. He’s barefoot and shirtless, dressed only in a pair of shorts. He’s a little out of breath and his face is flushed from running. The warm, animal scent rolls off him and invades my senses.

Somewhere in the house I hear Rosalie groan and mutter. “Oh great, Riley’s puppy must be here.”

Seth doesn’t seem to catch her words in his human form, so I don’t react to her comment. He smells amazing to me. More than human, like something wild and wonderful. 

I step forward, and pull him into my arms. The heat radiates off him and his musky scent surrounds me. I kiss his cheek, then dip my head to kiss his shoulder, tasting the salt of his sweat on my lips.

“Hi,” I murmur against his skin. 

“Hi,” he replies, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight.

I lead him up to the room that I’m starting to think of as mine. I leave the door slightly ajar. In this house privacy is impossible anyway, but somehow the visible reminder that we’re being monitored -- because I know that we are -- will make it easier for me not to let us get too carried away.

I gesture to the couch and Seth winces as he bends his body to sit.

“Ouch!” he exclaims. “I forgot, I have something for you.” He straightens up again and pulls out my phone and charger and hands them to me. “Your mom asked me to give you these, and says to call her.”

“Thanks,” I grin, pleased to have my phone back. “I’ll charge it up now so I can call her later.” I stand and go to plug it in. “And now I can call you, too, whenever I want.”

“Yeah,” Seth smiles. “Definitely.”

“So, how did the meeting with the pack go?” I ask him.

We’re sitting on the couch at opposite ends. I’ve kicked my shoes off and our legs lie alongside each other’s. The contact is comforting but not too distracting so I can concentrate on talking to him for now. 

“Pretty well,” he replies, his dark eyes fixed on mine. “I had to convince some of the council members that we’re still imprinted. But Sam and Jared backed me up. Then I assured them that you were determined to learn to be like the Cullens, and that they’re going to help you.” 

He frowns fleetingly, looking down and fiddling with a loose thread on his shorts. 

“I guess that not all of the pack were happy with this as a solution to my little problem?” My voice is bitter, I can hear it and try to suppress it but I can’t help myself. None of this was my fault; I didn’t choose to be like this.

“No,” his eyes flash up to mine again and I can see that he’s angry. “Paul was being an asshole about it. But he’s the only one, really. Sam put him in his place and he backed down, he had to. Even Quil and Embry were supportive and they were the others who had doubts before.”

“So I’m allowed to stay here with the Cullens?” I ask. “The pack are going to give me a chance to prove myself?”

“Yeah,” Seth gives me a small smile and his face softens. He’s so beautiful it makes my heart tug with longing. “As long as you don’t harm any humans then the pack aren’t allowed to harm you.”

I smile back, filled with relief. Part of me had been afraid that the pack would banish me, or worse, want to destroy me. I’m grateful that enough of them were on my side and are prepared to let me try.

Seth’s smile turns wider and we’re grinning at each other, happiness blossoming between us. 

“Come here,” I say, beckoning.

He crawls across the couch toward me as I push my legs apart to make space for him. And then he’s in my arms and it feels so fucking right. It almost feels as though things are normal again, that we’re just two boys in love with each other and nothing else matters. His lips find mine and his hands cup my face, warm and tender, and he kisses me with such intensity that I lose myself in it. 

I slide my hands up over the hot skin of his back, feeling his muscles moving as he hitches his hips against mine, rubbing our cocks together. He’s already hard, and so am I. 

I want him so much. 

But I’m not ready. 

I flip him over with a growl, pinning him against the black leather of the couch and he looks up at me and chuckles, his eyes dark with want. 

“You can’t do that to me,” I hiss. “It’s too hard, Seth.”

“I know it’s hard,” he chuckles, reaching a hand out, cupping my groin and squeezing. “I can feel it.” He licks his lips. “I want to taste you.”

“Oh, God,” I groan. “Please don’t say things like that.” I’m straddling him, still pinning him with my body and the urge to grind against him, tear off our clothes, take what I want from him is so strong that it frightens me. 

He must sense my desperation as he takes his hand away. “I’m sorry,” his face falls, guilt flashing across his features. 

“Don’t be, I want you too... but you know I can’t.” A thought occurs to me. “Do we even know what would happen if I bit you? What could my venom do to you?”

He shrugs. “I think we’re immune to it. That’s what Sam told me when I first phased and he filled me in on everything vamp-related. We can be hurt by the physical strength of vampires and injured by them, but the venom is harmless to us.”

“Okay, well that makes me feel a little better,” I say, relieved. “But I’m still worried that I might hurt you if I lose control, you know... in the moment.”

He smirks and shifts his hips under me so I can feel his hardness again. “Yeah, I know.”

I lean down and kiss him again, but I keep it gentle, careful. He lets me lead, seeming to know that I need to be in charge of setting the pace. Now it’s my turn to move my hips against his, and I can hear his heart pumping fiercely in his chest and smell the arousal, the tang of salt and musk rising off him. I know he’s desperate, already close to orgasm, but he’s reining it in, trying to control himself for me.

“Touch yourself,” I gasp, sitting back on his thighs and tracing the shape of his erection through the fabric of his shorts. There’s a wet patch at the tip and I press my finger against it, then bring it to my lips. The taste makes my mouth flood with venom. 

Seth stares up at me, flushed and panting. Then reaches for his fly and unfastens it, wriggling and working his shorts down onto his hips so he can release his cock. It lies hard against his belly, the skin stretched taut, the head flushed and shiny with wetness. The scent of sex is all around me, filling the room and making my head spin. I press my hand against my own dick through my pants. 

“Please,” I beg. “I’m scared to touch you, but I want to watch you come.”

“Oh, fuck,” he whimpers and his cock twitches.

I watch, entranced as he takes his hand to his cock and wraps his fingers around it, gripping tightly, pumping slowly. “You look amazing.”

“Will you do it too?” he asks. 

“Okay,” I whisper. 

I try to unfasten the jeans I’m wearing. They’re borrowed from Edward and the button is stiff and unfamiliar. I pull at it with a growl and feel it give suddenly as the fabric rips around the metal stud. I shove them down, reaching into my underwear.

I watch the movement of Seth’s hand as I curl my fingers around my own erection. This is the first time I’ve touched myself since I’ve been changed. My cock feels different to me, cool where it should be warm, but the skin is still smooth and soft under my fingers, sliding in the same way it always has. I stroke harder, bringing my fist up over the head with a squeeze and it’s so fucking good. I need release so badly, the heady scent of Seth and the sight and sound of his hand working his cock make me feel a little crazy. 

I glance up at his face and his eyes are fixed on the movement of my hand, his lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed. I look back at his cock again and I groan as I watch the wet head emerge from his fist with each stroke. His other hand is roaming over his muscled chest, teasing his nipples with his fingertips. 

“Fuck, Riley,” he whispers. “It’s so hot... watching you.”

“You too,” my voice catches in my throat. I want him to come first and grip my cock tightly, slowing the movement of my hand as I watch him getting closer, his breath coming in gasps.

The flush of Seth’s cheeks spreads down his neck and chest, the pulse of his blood hot beneath the surface of his skin. I can hear every beat of his heart as though it’s my own, vibrating through my senses.

He comes with a strangled cry, splashing his belly and chest with a thick streak of white and the cloying scent of his cum makes my arousal surge, pooling in my groin, ready to spread out and take me over. 

I drop down, supporting myself with one arm while I fist my cock with the my other hand and I lower my head to Seth’s abdomen, licking him clean, coating my throat with his essence as he shivers under the touch of my tongue. The taste of him explodes in my mouth, nothing like blood but almost as wonderful. My cock jerks in my hand and I come with a growl that feels as though it’s ripped from my bones. My body arches and shudders as Seth’s hands grip my shoulders, hot and strong, anchoring me as my orgasm rips through me -- more intense, more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt before.

When I’m done I rest my head on his chest, still crouched over him, and I listen to the thundering beat of his heart and the rush of his breath in his lungs until it slows and steadies to a peaceful rhythm. His fingers find my hair and stroke gently through the strands. 

For the first time since I’ve been changed I feel at peace.

Finally I move, mindful of the mess I’ve just made on the couch. “I’m glad it’s leather or I’d die of embarrassment having to explain this to Esme,” I chuckle.

Seth grins at me as he sits up, rearranging his clothes. “Way to make yourself popular with your hosts, huh?”

I look helplessly around the room, trying to find something to use to wipe the black leather, now painted with silvery strands of my cum. Vampires have little use for tissues, although now I seem to have found one. I end up using a discarded t-shirt, already stained with blood from hunting. It’s one of Edward’s but he told me I could keep it. The Cullens have an endless supply of clothes; apparently money isn’t an issue due to decades of clever financial investments with the aid of Alice’s gift. 

I ball it up and throw it back in the hamper when I’m done and pull Seth toward the bed now, lying back against the pillow and folding him into my arms. The wonderful sense of calm is still persisting.

“I think I needed that,” I smile as he relaxes into my embrace.

“I know I did,” he rubs my cheek with his nose, then kisses my jaw. “It was amazing... but did you realize we left the door open?”

I look at the door where it stands ajar and I shrug. “In a houseful of vampires it really makes fuck all difference,” I point out. “I can hear everything that they get up to and vice versa. And with Edward, Alice and Jasper in the house there’s no chance of keeping anything secret.”

“That’s so fucking weird,” Seth frowns. 

“Yeah,” I hug him tighter. “But I’m a vampire and my boyfriend morphs into a giant wolf on a regular basis, so luckily I’m pretty good with weird.”

We lie in silence for a while. I love the feel of his warm body in my arms, the musky scent of his skin. I feel his heart rate slow further and the soft hush of his breathing lulls me into a state of blissful calm. I feel him slip into sleep and his body relaxes completely in my arms.

I’m not sure how long Seth sleeps for; I find it hard to keep track of time now that my days and nights are no longer marked out by the pattern of sleeping and waking. I just enjoy holding him and soak up the peace that he brings me, the steady rhythm of his pulse surrounding me, almost making me believe that my own heart is still beating.

When he stirs, I tighten my arms around him again and he lifts his head from my chest and smiles sleepily as he moves in to kiss me, a gentle brush of lips and warm breath.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, laying his head on my shoulder.

“What for?” 

“For falling asleep on you, wasting our time together.” 

“It wasn’t wasted,” I insist, stroking his back, mapping the muscles under his skin with my fingertips. “It was wonderful.”

I see him to the door when it’s time for him to leave and we hold each other tightly, kissing deep and long before he finally pulls back and I reluctantly release him from my arms, just keeping hold of his hands. 

“See you again soon?” I say hopefully.

“Of course,” he smiles. “And you can call me now. I’m patrolling tomorrow, so if I don’t have time to come over then, I’ll see you Monday after school.”

“Okay,” I squeeze his hands and let them go.

I watch as he runs towards the trees. He turns to wave before slipping between the trunks and disappearing from my sight. I feel the loss of him already.

XOXOXOX

That evening I call my mom. 

She picks up right away. “Riley?” her voice tense, high pitched.

“Yeah, hi Mom,” I tighten my grip on my phone, having to consciously restrain myself from crushing it. I try to sound normal, I want to reassure her. But that’s ridiculous -- I know that she knows what I am now, what I’ve done.

“Are you... are they looking after you?” she asks me.

“Yes,” I reply. That’s an easy question to answer because it’s true. I tell her how kind the Cullens have been, that I’m safe and comfortable, cared for.

We stick to discussing practicalities for a while. She explains my cover story for school -- a previously undiagnosed genetic condition that necessitates long term treatment in a Seattle hospital. And we talk about how likely it is that I’ll be able to start school again in the fall. I’m hopeful but it’s impossible to plan anything right now.

“Would you be able to pack up some of my stuff for me?” I ask her. “And maybe Seth can ask Sam or Jake to drive him over here with it sometime.”

“Of course,” she says. “What do you need?”

“Clothes, books, music... as much as possible really.” 

I want anything that ties me to my human life, to help remind me who I was. I think that having my belongings around me will help me to fight the monster in me, to resist my constant thirst.

“Okay,” she replies. Then there’s a long pause. “And when will I be able to see you?” Her voice trembles a little and I swallow hard before answering.

“I don’t know,” I answer. “Maybe a few weeks, maybe longer... I need to be sure before I risk it.” I shudder at the thought of hurting my own mother. 

“I miss you,” her voice breaks and I know that she’s crying. If I was able, I know that I’d be crying too.

“I miss you too, Mom,” I lean my head against the window, looking out at the darkening trees.

**Chapter 20**

**Seth**

****On Saturday night I have the best night’s sleep that I’ve had in what feels like weeks. No longer weighed down by exhaustion and stress, I wake feeling refreshed and optimistic about the future.

I remember the time I spent with Riley yesterday and smile up at my ceiling thinking about him. For the first time since he was taken I really believe that things are going to work out, that we’re going to get through this. 

I think about what we did on his couch, and my hand creeps into my underwear to grip my morning semi. It feels good, so I start to move my hand as I think about Riley. I imagine being about to touch him again, kiss him, taste him. I hope it won’t be too long before I can do all the things I want. I bring myself off quickly to images of our bodies moving together, pale and dark, warm and cool. I imagine his hand on my cock, his cock in my mouth and I come suddenly, surprised by the force of my orgasm. 

After a shower I grab some breakfast and then do a little school work for a while. Leah’s studying in her room and Mom’s gone grocery shopping, so the house is quiet. 

A little later my phone rings and I see that it’s Riley’s home number.

“Hi,” I answer.

“Hi, Seth, it’s Kathy. I hope I didn’t wake you?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ve been up for a while. How are you?”

“I’m okay,” she replies. “Getting used to things. I spoke with Riley last night and he wants me to pack up some of his stuff. He was hoping you’d be able to arrange for Sam or Jake to drive you over with it. I would take it for him but he’s not ready to see me yet.” She sounds efficient, deliberately business-like.

“Of course, that’s fine; I’ll see what I can arrange. Do you want any help sorting through his things?”

“Yes,” she sounds relieved. “That would be great actually. You’re more likely to know what he’ll want. Thanks, Seth. Why don’t you come over later this morning, you can stay for lunch if you want?”

“Okay, I’ll come over soon.”

When I hang up I call Sam to ask him whether he can drive Riley’s stuff over to the Cullens later on. We arrange to drop it off mid-afternoon, but I’ll need to get a ride back with Sam after we deliver it since I have to get back to patrol after that. 

Then I call Riley to let him know what’s going on. We talk for a while and just hearing his voice makes me happy. I wish I had more time to spend with him today but knowing that I’m doing something to help him makes up for it.

“Is there anything in particular you want to make sure we bring?” I ask him.

“Just stuff to remind me who I am,” he replies. “My music, books that I like to read, my laptop. You’d better bring my school books, too, so I don’t get too behind; at least I have plenty of time to study now. And bring as many of my clothes as you can. The Cullens are all a little taller or bigger than me so it’ll be nice to have some things that fit again.”

“Okay,” I smile at that. “I’ll see you later then. But I’ll be with Sam so it’s only going to be a quick visit today I’m afraid.”

“Can you come again tomorrow?” he sounds hopeful. 

“Yeah, I’ll try and get a ride with Edward after school.”

“Good,” he says. “See you later then. Thanks for helping my Mom.”

“That’s okay.” A thought suddenly occurs to me. “Oh, by the way, is there anything in your room that you _don’t_ want her to find?

He chuckles. “Not really actually, I don’t have any magazines or anything. I wouldn’t want her looking at some of the things I have on my laptop but it’s password protected anyway.”

XOXOXOX

Kathy greets me with a warm hug when I arrive and we go straight to Riley’s room and start sorting through his things. 

We try to keep the conversation light, talking about school, the weather, focusing on the task that we’re doing. But I’m surprised by how difficult I’m finding this and I can tell by the uncomfortable silences that Kathy’s struggling too.

Everything I touch reminds me of Riley as he was before. His room smells of him, his human scent everywhere. When I pick up a discarded hoodie from his chair and fold it to put into a bag I can’t help myself. I bring it to my nose and breathe him in, remembering how he used to be. It’s painfully familiar and it makes my chest ache and my eyes burn.

I catch Kathy watching me from her position kneeling on the floor as she pulls things out of his chest of drawers and her face is stricken. 

She stands and moves toward me, and then she takes me in her arms without a word. Kathy’s small, much more fragile-looking than my mom, but she grips me tight and I stoop to rest my head on her shoulder. Riley’s hoodie is still in my hand, trapped between us and she holds me for a long time. But I don’t cry, I’m tired of crying.

Eventually she releases me and I smile weakly at her.

“It’s going to be okay, you know,” I say. “He’ll never be exactly the same as he was before, but he’s still Riley. It’s just different now, but we’ll get used to it.”

“I know,” Kathy replies, wiping away a stray tear but smiling at the same time. “I’m so glad he has you, Seth. That you don’t have to stay away from him too.”

We get back to our packing and by lunchtime there are several bags and boxes full of Riley’s things lined up in the hallway. 

A thought suddenly occurs to me. “Is there a photo I can take for him? One of you and him together, or maybe one of his dad?” I flush, not wanting to bring up more sad memories for Kathy, but I think it’s something that Riley would want. “I just thought it might help him remember you, and give him more reason to try...” my voice trails off. 

“Of course,” she smiles reassuringly. “That’s a great idea.”

She goes into the living room and takes a framed photo down from the mantelpiece. It shows Riley -- obviously a few years ago, Kathy, and the man that I know is Riley’s father. They’re all smiling, looking carefree, oblivious as to what the future holds for them. I feel a lump in my throat as I look at it. 

“Thanks,” I place it gently in the top of one of the boxes.

Our mood lifts again as we eat and talk together over Kathy’s kitchen table. She teases me for my huge appetite, amazed at how many sandwiches I can eat. 

“Teenage boys are hungry enough, add a wolf gene into the mix and it’s insane,” I grin. 

“Poor Sue,” she chuckles. “No wonder she’s always at the grocery store.”

“Yeah,” I nod in agreement. “And Leah’s almost as bad, plus half the time Jake’s around raiding the fridge too.”

I suddenly feel uncomfortable, remembering that Kathy only has herself to feed now and I wonder if she’s thinking the same thing.

XOXOXOX

I text Sam when we’ve finished eating and he drives straight over. We load all the bags and boxes into his truck and say our goodbyes to Kathy.

“Thanks for doing this,” I say as he pulls away.

“That’s okay,” Sam replies. “I’m kind of interested to see the Cullen place anyway. I’ve heard the rumors.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty amazing,” I tell him. “It’s huge and perfect. It looks like something out of a movie.”

“So is Riley doing okay?” he asks.

“He’s getting there,” I shrug. “It’s a lot to get used to but he’s determined. I think he’s going to be fine, it’s just gonna take time.”

“You must miss him,” Sam observes. “I mean -- I know you’re seeing him but it can’t be the same.”

“Yeah.” I’m silent for a moment and then I remember my conversation with Riley from the day before. I feel my cheeks heat, but hell... the pack have no secrets right? So I ask him. “Is it safe for me to have sex with him... now that he’s a vampire?”

Sam doesn’t even flinch. His face is impassive, eyes stay on the road. “I don’t see why not,” he replies. “His venom isn’t harmful to you; as long as he’s able to control his strength you should be fine. It might be a good idea to wait a little while.”

“Okay, thanks,” I grin, feeling reassured. Not that I’m happy about having to wait but at least I know that we can do it again eventually. 

My mind starts to drift to all the things we can do together again once Riley’s more in control of his strength and is ready to trust himself not to hurt me. I start to get aroused and force my mind off the topic of sex, glad that we’re in human form and not wolf form so Sam can’t see some of the mental images that just flew through my head.

When we pull up outside the Cullen’s home Sam lets out a low whistle.

“Wow, you weren’t exaggerating!”

“Pretty amazing isn’t it?” I grin, reaching to open the car door. 

Sam hangs back as I walk to the front door and ring the doorbell. I look at him and realize that he’s uncharacteristically nervous. It’s strange for me to see Sam like this; he’s usually so full of confidence. Of course, it’s not really surprising that he’d lose some of his self-assurance while waiting on the doorstep of a house that’s full of vampires. It’s different for me because of Riley, but even I felt uncomfortable the first time I came here. 

Edward opens the door to us and he greets me with a smile, then nods politely to Sam offering him his hand in a strangely formal gesture. “Hi, Seth... Sam. Riley knows you’re here. He’s on his way down.”

Sam takes Edward’s hand and shakes it firmly, meeting his gaze. Something seems to pass between them, a silent challenge perhaps. I wonder what Sam’s thinking because I know that Edward will have seen it. 

“It’s not what I want for her,” Edward murmurs quietly. Sam’s brow furrows as he draws his hand back. I guess that they must be talking about Bella but I don’t have time to wonder too much because we’re interrupted by Riley coming down the stairs. He looks nervously at Sam. Sam stares back at him, taking in the changes in his appearance. 

“Hi, Riley,” Sam nods. “How are you doing?”

“Hi, I’m okay I guess,” Riley shrugs. “Thanks for bringing my stuff over.” Then he turns to me and smiles. “Hey,” he says softly. 

I step close and pull him into a quick embrace, kissing his cool cheek briefly. 

“Shall we bring this in now?” I gesture to the car.

We make quick work of carrying in Riley’s possessions with four of us helping. Once it’s all been taken up to Riley’s room, Edward invites us down to the kitchen and offers Sam and me a drink. We accept and sit at the table in the kitchen drinking sodas while Riley and Edward join us, empty handed. 

The conversation is stilted. Sam’s clearly out of his element and I would rather be alone with Riley. The knowledge that Edward knows what everyone else is thinking doesn’t make the situation any easier. We finish our drinks quickly and Sam catches my eye.

“I’m sorry, but we have to go,” I look at Riley regretfully and he gives me a small smile. “I have to patrol later but I’ll come by tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” Riley grins properly now. 

I turn to Edward. “Would you be able to give me a ride? I can run back later.”

“Sure,” he nods. 

Riley sees us to the door and Sam goes and gets in the truck to give us a moment of relative privacy. I put my hands on Riley’s hips and pull him close, seeking his lips with mine and kissing him slowly, thoroughly, smiling against his lips as I feel him relax and kiss me back.

Riley watches and waves as Sam pulls out of the Cullens’ driveway.

Sam is silent for a while as we drive. I get the feeling that he’s got something on his mind so I keep quiet and wait.

“So, Bella wants Edward to change her.” He finally breaks the silence with a statement rather than a question. 

“Yeah.” 

I guess that he must have seen it in my thoughts when we’ve been in our wolf form. I know I should probably have told him directly; maybe I would have done it if I hadn’t been distracted by all the stuff that happened with Riley just after I found out about what Bella wanted. I know that Sam needs to know.

“That’s a serious matter, Seth.” He sounds concerned.

“I know,” I say. “But it’s not Edward’s idea; it’s Bella who’s pushing for it.”

“It doesn’t matter what anyone wants,” Sam frowns, his eyes still on the road. “The fact remains that if Edward changes Bella, even at her request, it violates the terms of our treaty with the Cullens. So if he goes ahead and does it, it’s going to cause us major problems. I’d hate to see the relatively good relationship that we’ve established with them recently ruined by this.”

“That’s what Edward was talking about earlier?” I suddenly remember the exchange between the two of them when we arrived. “When he said it wasn’t what he wanted?”

“Yep,” Sam nods. “I was thinking about it and he picked it out of my head and answered me. He knows that I know, and he knows what my concerns are.”

“Isn’t there any way around it?” I ask him. “It doesn’t seem fair to Bella not to let her choose. If this is really what she wants, then why can’t we let Edward change her? She knows exactly what it means to be a vampire. She has no intention of ever feeding on humans and she’ll have the Cullens to help her. But she and Edward... what they have is like an imprint, Sam. They need to be together.”

Sam sighs. “I am sympathetic Seth, but I don’t think there’s any way that I can condone it. The rest of the pack would never accept it -- especially Jake.”

I fall silent again and get lost in my thoughts as I wonder about what Sam’s said. I know that a couple of weeks ago Jake would have been horrified at the thought of Bella being changed. I’m glad that I managed to keep it from him at the time -- although apparently Sam must have seen it. 

But now Jake seems so much calmer, much more accepting of the Cullens. And I’m not sure that Sam’s right that he’ll be automatically opposed to Bella being changed. After all, Jake has always wanted Bella to be happy above all else. I think if he could be persuaded that this was right for her then he might accept it. I don’t think there’s any point in arguing with Sam about it now, but I wonder if I might be able to sound Jake out about it. Edward has been so good with Riley, I feel like I owe him something. I suppress a smirk at the thought that I’m trying to matchmake for a vampire. _What the fuck has my life become?_  
 _  
_

XOXOXOX

When Sam drops me at home I hear the sound of the TV coming from the living room, so I go to see who’s home. 

I find Leah and Jake entwined on the couch, hands in each other’s hair, kissing deeply. They’re oblivious to my presence, the noise from the TV covering the sounds of my entrance. 

“Um... hi,” I say loudly, announcing my arrival.

They spring apart looking flushed and a little guilty. I just laugh at them and they break into matching sheepish grins as they move into a more respectable sitting position, side by side, but Jake keeps his hand on Leah’s knee. 

“Sorry, man,” Jake mutters to me.

Leah smacks him upside the head. “You don’t need to apologize to him,” she frowns. “He’s my brother, not my keeper.”

“Whatever,” Jake rubs his head where she whacked him. “Brothers can be weird about that shit.”

“It’s okay,” I chuckle. “It’s not exactly a surprise, and I’m just glad to see the both of you looking happy for a change. It’s about fucking time in your case, dude; we’ve had to put up with your moping for way too long.” The last comment is directed at Jake.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I know. It’s nice to feel happy too.”

Leah’s face softens again as she looks at him. 

“Actually there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” I address Jake again. “I guess maybe now’s not a good time,” I grin, “but can I have a word with you before you go home?”

“You can borrow him now,” Leah says, standing up. “Mom’s over at Kathy’s again and I said I’d cook dinner tonight, so I’ll go and get started on that.” She kisses Jake’s cheek before standing and narrowing her eyes at me. “If you pull any of that ‘if you hurt my sister, I’ll hurt you’ shit on him, then I’m gonna hurt _you_. Just so we’re clear. I can look after myself.”

I raise my hands defensively. “Nope, definitely wasn’t going to say any of that. This is completely nothing to do with you at all, honestly.”

“Good.” Leah leaves the room with a smirk and closes the door behind her. 

“Of course, just ‘cause I’m not gonna say it doesn’t mean it’s not true,” I look at Jake seriously for a minute. 

He meets my gaze. “You know me,” he says. “You know I’d never intentionally hurt Leah.”

I nod. “Yeah, I do. And I know that you’re both taking a risk here. But I hope it pays off for you.”

He smiles at me. “Thanks, Seth. I appreciate that.” There’s a silence for a moment as we hold each other’s gaze. “So anyway,” he asks as I go to sit in one of the armchairs. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Bella,” I say. His face flickers with surprise. “I know she’s still important to you. And I don’t want you to freak out when I tell you this, but you need to know. You’d find out soon enough anyway through my or Sam’s thoughts if we let it slip through when we shift and I think it’s better if you hear it now.”

Jake looks worried. “Okay, what is it?”

“She wants Edward to turn her.” I reply, watching him carefully to gauge his response. 

He frowns and I can see the tension in his body but he’s silent for a long time before he speaks. His voice is tightly controlled. “And has he agreed?”

“Not yet,” I reply. “And he has lots of misgivings about it; it’s not something he’s happy about. But she really wants it, and I think he will want to be able to do it to make her happy eventually.”

“How could she be happy like that,” Jake whispers, shaking his head. “How could anyone choose to be like that?”

“She loves Edward, Jake. You know this,” my voice is gentle. “She wants to be with him forever. If she stays human he’ll have to watch her grow old, see her die. Can you imagine what that would be like for him? And for her to be in love with someone who’s effectively going to be seventeen forever?”

“But she’d be giving up so much,” Jake looks stricken.

“She’s not stupid, Jake. Bella’s thought it all through, and it’s her life.”

“Why do I feel as though you’re asking my permission?” Jake frowns. “It’s got nothing to do with me anyway, I don’t have any claim on her. And it’s Sam who would need to persuade the pack to allow Edward to breach the treaty.”

“Because Sam believes that you’d be the one who would be the hardest to persuade,” I shrug. “But I wasn’t so sure about that. Because you love Bella, you want what’s best for her. And I think if you’re honest with yourself, you know that Edward _is_ what’s best for her. He is what she wants more than anything else.”

“Maybe,” Jake shakes his head. “I don’t know. How can she be sure she won’t change her mind? What if he changes her and she regrets it? There’s no going back.”

“I think you need to talk to her,” I say. “But will you? Will you listen to her?”

“Why do you care?” He asks me. 

“Because I like Edward,” I shrug. “He’s been kind to me, and a good friend to Riley. And I think he deserves to be happy.”

“Maybe,” Jake sighs. “I’ll think about it, okay? Are Bella and Edward going to ask Sam about it?”

“I don’t know,” I answer. “But if Bella is serious about it and Edward agrees they’re going to have to discuss it with him eventually. And I think your opinion will count for a lot.”

Jake nods, his brow furrowed. But he doesn’t say anything else so I drop the subject feeling that I’ve done what I can.

XOXOXOX

Jake stays for dinner and Mom comes back in time to eat with us. We’re eating early tonight because Leah, Jake and I are due to patrol this evening.

After we’ve cleared away and done the dishes we walk together to the woods behind the house and strip, phasing quickly into our wolf forms. Phasing has become something that’s truly pleasurable for me now and I enjoy stretching my legs as I run, pushing my body to go faster. I remember how I resisted it at first, not wanting to be anything other than human. Now I love my strength and speed, the power and grace with which I can move.

Patrol is blissfully uneventful. No unfamiliar scents, nothing to cause alarm. We race each other, unable to help being competitive but Leah wins every time. Her thoughts are unbearably smug. 

As we complete our circuit of the boundaries we end up on the beach and pad along the water’s edge as the sun goes down over the horizon, streaking the sky orange and pink. Leah’s still radiating satisfaction at outrunning us, so Jake and I get our revenge on her by ganging up and bundling her into the water before she realizes what we’re planning. She growls and tries to wriggle out from under us as we play fight in the shallows, getting her thoroughly soaked before releasing her. 

_Fuckers_ , her thoughts are crystal clear. But we can hear the humor in them too. _  
_  
As we head back to the Res I catch a few thoughts I’d rather not have in my head. I can feel the attraction between them and I know that they’re trying hard to shield what they’re thinking from me, but they aren’t always succeeding.

_Okay, I really don’t want to know what it feels like to kiss my sister,_ I shudder. _I’m phasing back now and leaving you to it._

_Yeah, sorry_ , Jake barks a wolfy laugh as he apologizes. _  
_  
I run on ahead of them and phase back quickly. I pull my shorts back on and walk back the rest of the way in my human form, trying not to think about what they might be getting up to in the privacy of the woods now that I’ve left them behind.

When I get home I get ready for bed and once I’m curled up under the covers, I reach for my phone and call Riley. 

“Hi, Seth,” he answers almost immediately.

“Hey,” I smile; he sounds pleased to hear from me. “How are you?”

“Good thanks. It’s great to have my stuff, makes me feel more at home.”

“Good,” I reply. It’s nice to think of him surrounded by his own possessions instead of in the sparse, sterile room that I saw when I was there before. 

“Thank you for putting the photo in,” he says. “I spoke to Mom earlier and she said that it was your idea.”

“Yeah, it was. I just thought it would help.”

“It does.” He’s quiet for a moment, then he adds, “I wish I had a photo of you.”

I grin, an idea occurring to me. “Hang on, I’ll call you back in a minute.”

I end the call and pull up the camera on my phone, snap a quick picture of me -- grinning with embarrassment as I hate taking my own photo -- and text it to him. Then I call him back.

“How’s that?” I ask.

“It’s cute,” he replies, I can hear the grin that must be on his face through his voice. “You look kind of sleepy and rumpled.”

“I am kind of sleepy,” I say. “I’ve been running through the woods chasing Leah for the last three hours, I’m exhausted.”

“You should go to sleep then,” he sounds regretful. “You have school in the morning so don’t let me keep you awake.”

“But I like hearing your voice,” I protest, even though my eyes are getting heavy. “I don’t want to hang up. Will you talk to me till I fall asleep?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” he laughs. “But... I guess maybe I could read to you or something?” he suggests tentatively.

“Yeah, that would be awesome,” I feel a flush of warmth in my chest, touched that he’s offered to do this for me. “Can you read me one of our assignments for English class? I’m way behind with my reading.”

And so I close my eyes and lie there with a smile on my face and my phone pressed to my cheek, listening to the gentle sound of Riley’s voice as he reads Pride and Prejudice to me until I drift into sleep. 

**  
**

**Chapter 21  
**   
**Riley**

****The next couple of weeks crawl by for me. The Cullens tell me that I’ll get used to it, this constant impatience, the feeling of wishing the time away. But I long to be able to sleep; although I never get physically tired I long for mental respite.

School will be ending for the summer soon. I’m looking forward to having more company when the younger Cullens and Seth are free during the day; that should help to make my life more interesting and less monotonous. I play a lot of chess with Edward; usually in the early morning when he comes back from spending his nights with Bella. He comes back heavy with her human scent and I force myself to stay calm as I sit close to him, deliberately breathing it in and trying to ignore the raw ache in my throat.

I’m still confined to the house unless I’m out on one of my regular hunting trips, and I’m always chaperoned for those. Although I begin to feel more in control of the urge to feed, I know that I’m still a newborn and I’m definitely not ready to risk coming upon an unsuspecting human if I ventured out on my own. I’m not sure I’d be able to resist the overwhelming desire for their blood yet.

The only time that I truly feel at peace with my new existence is when Seth is with me. He comes to visit as often as he can, coming over after school nearly every day for a few hours and on both weekend days too, as long as he doesn’t have patrol duties. Our physical relationship is stuck at kissing and masturbating together for now. We both want more but I’m still not prepared to risk hurting Seth, and he’s being patient for me. 

I have no contact with any humans whatsoever for now. Bella hasn’t visited Edward at home since I’ve been living here. I know that this is inconvenient for both of them; but when I try to apologize for it Edward stops me, telling me that it’s okay. It’s not for long and that Bella understands. 

“If she has her way then she’ll be in your position soon enough,” he smiles wryly. “She knows enough about vampires to understand that she needs to stay away for now.”

I nod, still feeling bad. We’re in the middle of one of our early morning chess games and Edward’s clothes are imbued with Bella’s warm, sweet scent. The venom pools in my mouth and I swallow it down, trying to ease the burning but it doesn’t help. And I know that Edward knows exactly how hard it is for me to pretend that I’m okay with it.

“I’m going to have to try getting closer to a human sometime though,” I shrug. “How will I know I’m getting better if I don’t try?”

Edward’s eyes flash and his jaw tenses. “Are you suggesting using Bella as an experiment?”

“No,” I say hastily. I really wasn’t; Bella was just in my thoughts when I spoke the words and Edward has jumped to conclusions. “Actually I think the most logical person to try and ‘meet’ first is my mother. Aside from Seth she’s the person I love the most, so will want to hurt the least.”

“That makes sense,” Edward nods. “And we can be here to protect her if necessary.” 

The idea that the rest of the Cullens will have to protect my own mother from me makes pain bloom in my chest, but I know he’s right.

“Maybe we can try that in a couple more weeks?” I suggest. 

“Perhaps,” Edward agrees, looking thoughtful.

XOXOXOX

The next morning Edward comes home at dawn with a carrier bag in his hand. He finds me in my room and hands it to me looking embarrassed. Obviously vampires can’t blush but something in the way he doesn’t quite meet my eye gives him away.

“What is it?” I ask, confused.

“It’s one of Bella’s t-shirts,” his eyes meet mine and he looks really uncomfortable. I look at him blankly, not understanding and he carries on. “She’s worn it, it smells like her. We thought it would help you get desensitized... you know, to the human scent.”

Wow, this feels a little weird. He’s seriously giving me his girlfriend’s dirty laundry to sniff. I’m not sure whether to laugh or be appalled so I kind of combine the two.

Edward chuckles with me. “I know it feels kind of creepy, but it was actually Bella’s idea, not mine, and it really will help. The more you’re around humans the easier it gets -- and at the moment, this is the closest we can risk you getting to a human. It seems like a good first step. When the scent fades, give it back to me and I’ll swap it for another one. And maybe we can get Seth to bring you something of your mom’s too.”

“Fuck,” I shake my head, smiling ruefully at the insanity that is my life. “It’s like some twelve step program or something.”

“Basically, yes,” Edward shrugs. “But the sooner we can get to the stage where you don’t want to eat my girlfriend the happier I’ll be, so start sniffing that shirt.”

And Edward’s right; it will help. But the first time I pull that shirt out of the bag and put it to my face it’s almost humiliating how desperate I feel. I’m glad that I waited for Edward to leave, so that I could be alone before I tried it. I feel ashamed at the growl that’s ripped from my throat as I gulp in the scent of Bella’s human warmth, her skin, her sweat. Venom floods my mouth and I have to restrain myself from tearing into the fabric with my teeth, biting it, sucking it, trying to find a trace of something there to feed on. The raw _need_ coursing through me makes me feel weak, out of control, and I hate it.

I throw myself face down on the bed, the shirt still clutched to my face. It’s like a form of torture; to want something so badly and not be able to have it. I force myself to breathe steadily, in and out -- not because I need the oxygen, but so that my senses are saturated with Bella’s scent. It’s agonizing but I make myself do it, knowing that I have to get used to this. I make myself think of my mom while I breathe, filling my head with memories of her. I imagine her smiling at me, hugging me, stroking my hair after a nightmare when I was small. I think about the smell of her hair, the warmth of her arms around me, the touch of her hands. And through it all I keep breathing in the heady scent that’s surrounding me. 

Slowly, imperceptibly, the worst of the pain and hunger starts to pass. I have no idea how long I lie there. All of my senses are tied up with the human scent that fills my consciousness and the overwhelming desire to feed on the human blood that my body craves so much. But gradually as the blood-lust ebbs and my muscles slowly relax I become aware of other things again. The level of light in the room suggests it’s near midday now; I must have been lying here for hours. The house is quiet, the others having long since left for school. I hear the distant sounds of brushstrokes from the conservatory -- painting is one of Esme’s many hobbies. 

I finally roll onto my back and lie staring at the ceiling. Every slight crack or irregularity in it is familiar to me now and I find them oddly comforting. I bring Bella’s t-shirt to my face again and sniff once more, but my reaction to it is weaker this time, as though my body has realized that it’s not going to be satisfied. 

I smile to myself, feeling as though I’ve passed some kind of test.

I fold up the t-shirt and put it back the bag for now. That should help to trap the scent for longer so I can use it again later. But now I feel drained, tired of fighting the monster inside me, so I go to find Esme, wanting company.

XOXOXOX

The desensitization feels like it’s working. 

Edward brings me a new ‘eau-de-Bella’ t-shirt every couple of days, and Seth brings me shirts from my mom. I spend several hours a day inhaling their scents and it gets easier each time. I also start to notice that I’m less bothered by the human scents that the others carry into the house on them when they come back from interacting with humans. The burn in my throat is ever-present but my physical reactions lessen and I slowly begin to feel more in control of myself.

But then later that week my tentative control is tested to the limit.

I can smell it on Edward as soon as he steps into the house. Seth is with him and even he can’t distract me; I don’t even look at him as I freeze in the doorway from the living room where I was sitting, waiting for them to get back from school.

I cling to the door frame, my fingers digging into the wood. I feel it splinter beneath my grip but I can’t stop myself. It’s taking every ounce of my self-control not to run to Edward, grab him, find the source of the scent that’s making my senses scream with hunger. 

My eyes rake over him and then I see it -- the tiny dark red spot on the sleeve of his shirt that’s tormenting me, taunting me. 

“Don’t breathe,” Edward warns me. “Close your throat, focus, Riley. You can handle this, I know you can.”

Seth doesn’t say anything, but when I drag my eyes to his he’s watching me, his face taut with tension.

_Why are you doing this?_ I don’t dare speak out loud in case I accidentally breathe in the scent of the blood that’s staining Edward’s shirt. _  
_  
“Because it seemed like a good opportunity to expose you to human blood,” Edward replies. “Bella broke a glass at lunchtime today and cut her finger clearing it up. I’m sorry, maybe I should have warned you, but this way your response is genuine. It tells me more about how far you’ve come.”

I grit my teeth. _And what’s the verdict?_  
 _  
_Edward smiles. “You’re doing amazingly well, you should be proud of yourself. I’ll go and change in a moment, I can put this in the washing machine right away. But do you want to get any closer first?”

I pause, my body tight with tension. I close my eyes for a moment and think of my mom. She’s human, and humans are always cutting themselves. I can’t avoid this forever. 

So I open my eyes and nod stiffly, moving forward carefully. They watch me as I approach and when I’m just a few feet from Edward I finally speak out loud.

“I’m going to try something.”

And then I inhale, just the tiniest breath, my nostrils flaring as the sweet, coppery scent rushes in. I can almost taste it and the monster inside me twists and howls. But I fix my eyes on Seth and he smiles at me, his eyes full of love and admiration and I manage a weak smile in return.

“Well done,” Edward murmurs, and then he goes -- already unbuttoning his shirt as he heads for the laundry room. 

I sag with relief and Seth takes me in his arms, wrapping me up tight in his warmth, whispering to me how amazing I am and soothing me with gentle strokes until I stop shaking.

XOXOXOX

The incident with Bella’s blood feels like a milestone and I feel more optimistic as each day passes.

The seniors graduate in early June and the Cullens joke about having more graduation caps to add to their collection. Edward, Jasper, Emmett and Rose are all graduating this year. Rose and Emmett are going to go travelling for a while, under the cover of attending college. Jasper is staying in Forks so that he can be with Alice but is pretending to go off to study too, so will be hiding out at the Cullens and not showing his face around Forks apart from during the holidays. Edward is also remaining in Forks but is planning on working for Carlisle at the hospital, allegedly gaining some experience while he applies to study medicine. 

Now that Seth is finished with school for the summer we can spend more time together. It’s frustrating not being able to do anything other than hang around the Cullens’ house. But as long as I’m with him I’m happy, and all the making out and getting off makes up for not being able to go outdoors together yet.

It’s late June, almost exactly a month after I’ve been changed, when I finally feel ready to risk touching Seth in a sexual way other than just kissing. Nearly every time we’ve been together we lie on the bed or the couch in my room and kiss until Seth’s lips are swollen, and we’re both hard and aching with want. Then we jerk ourselves off -- watching each other with hungry eyes until we come. And it’s always hot and always amazing, but both of us are increasingly desperate for more.

It’s not planned, it just happens.

Seth has come over in the evening and we’re lying on my bed on our sides as the light fades outside, facing each other. I’m watching Seth’s hand move on his cock as I stroke mine with slow, lazy pulls. He’s getting close and I see the pre-cum beading at his slit. The scent of his arousal hangs in the air, musk and salt and warm wolf-boy-smell. 

“I want to taste you,” I whisper and his hand stops moving abruptly.

He puts a hand under my chin and pulls my face up until I’m looking at him, his dark eyes bore into mine. “I trust you,” he says simply.

I want him so much, I want his flavor on my tongue, in my mouth. My cock throbs at the thought. “I think I should come first,” I mutter. “It will be easier for me to stay calm if I’ve already come.”

“That’s easily arranged,” he smiles and kisses me, his tongue seeking mine for a moment. He pulls back. “Do you want to do it yourself or are you ready for me to try touching you?”

“I want to try...” I run my thumb over his lips, so warm, so soft. “I want you to touch me.” It’s been so long, I want to feel his hands on me.

“Okay,” he whispers and pushes me on to my back.

I lie, passive as he sets to work. I’m afraid to touch him, so I curl my fingers into the duvet cover as he straddles me and kisses me again. His hands slide up under my t-shirt and they’re so hot against my skin. His fingertips leave tingling trails as they skate over my belly, up to my chest. Seth sits up and pulls at my shirt, making me sit up so he can remove it. Then he reaches down for the hem of his t-shirt and pulls it up and off in one swift movement, his scent intensifying as the heat radiates off him. His shorts are already hanging open and my eyes drop to his dick, my venom pooling at the thought of tasting him. _Soon_ , I tell myself. 

His mouth is on my chest now, so hot against my cool skin. The huff of his breath and the slide of his tongue make me gasp and grip the covers more tightly.

“Please,” I whimper, unable to wait now that I’m finally allowing myself this.

He chuckles and moves lower, unfastening my jeans and pulling them down with my underwear, stripping them off and casting them aside. He pushes his down and off too and for the first time in weeks I’m naked with him. 

Seth covers me with his body again and the heat of him is incredible, but it feels amazing. It’s not too much, it’s perfect and is everything that I want. I slide my hands tentatively across his shoulders, feeling the softness of his skin, the hardness of the muscles beneath. But then his warm breath washes over my dick and I move my hands back to the bed, twisting the material tightly in my fingers. 

He doesn’t make me wait. He takes me into his mouth, sucking firmly and it’s hot and wet and wonderful. He pushes my legs wide with strong hands, spreading my legs, sliding his hands up and caressing my balls with his fingertips. I’m so sensitive, everything is more intense than it was when I was human. One of his thumbs brushes lower, grazing my hole as he sucks and swirls his tongue around the head of my cock and I cry out, my whole body arching and bucking.

“Oh fuck, pull off... I’m going to come.”

I feel my fingers tear into the duvet cover and there are soft feathers under my fingertips as I clutch at it. My body shudders as I fight the urge to come, still not convinced that my venom won’t harm him in some way. But Seth sucks again, and his thumb presses harder and I can’t keep it in. My cock explodes in his mouth and he swallows, still sucking as I moan and twitch helplessly until there’s nothing left.

He finally pulls away and smiles up at me, licking his lips and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He has a white feather in his hair; I remove it with careful fingers.

“You taste really different,” he says thoughtfully, “much sweeter.”

“Are you sure it was okay for you to swallow?” I frown, worried. 

“Positive,” he crawls up and kisses my lips, my cheek, my jaw. “I checked with Sam, vamp venom is totally harmless to wolves in any form. Anyway we’ve been swapping saliva for the past few weeks and it hasn’t done me any harm has it?”

“I guess not,” I smile.

His kisses become more insistent, nipping at my throat and nuzzling the skin beneath my jaw, and I feel the hot prod of his erection against my hip and smell a new burst of arousal as his cock slides wet against my skin.

“My turn then,” I murmur and he hums in agreement. 

I flip him over onto his back and he laughs up at me, my vampire strength still a novelty to both of us. I lower myself between his thighs as he parts them willingly, his dick kicking upwards in anticipation. I kiss his hipbones, lick the grooves that lead down his groin. The musky salt smell of his cock is like a drug. I want it so badly but I make myself wait, testing myself again. 

I use my hand first, slowly, gently. I reacquaint myself with the texture of him, the smooth slide of soft skin over the hardness beneath. He sighs and pushes up into my hand. “That feels so good, Riley.”

I watch his face, seeing pleasure and desire, trust and love. My dead heart feels warm in my chest as I look at him and see him smiling back. 

I finally lower my mouth to him and lick delicately up his shaft. I can feel the beat of his pulse with my tongue in every vein. I take him back in my hand and use my tongue just on the head of his cock now. I don’t dare take him in my mouth completely, I don’t trust myself and my razor sharp teeth but I lick around the rim and dip into the slit to taste him, making him moan.

“I’m not going to last long,” he warns me. 

I don’t need to be warned. I always know when he’s going to come because I can hear it in his heartbeat, in the rapid beat of his pulse. I can smell it under his skin, the surge of intense arousal just before he peaks and shatters. Although I’ve just come, I feel as though I’m right there with him again as I ride it with him, his body tensing, muscles taut as his hips thrust upwards. And he’s coming, hot and wet against my lips, on my tongue, on my cheek. I swallow greedily, catching what I can and licking the rest from my lips, off the tip of his cock and his belly. He collapses back with a sigh and I feel his warm fingers on my face, wiping his cum from my cheek and giving them to me to suck clean.

I move back up beside him and pull Seth into my arms, ignoring the feathers that are escaping from the damaged duvet. I’m not really looking forward to explaining it to Esme; but in a house full of vampires damage to furnishings and even occasional structural damage to the house aren’t exactly unheard of. I know she’ll probably just laugh and buy me a new one.

We twine our bodies together, limbs entangled, skin on skin. I feel his heart beating against my chest as we kiss again, slowly and softly, and peace steals over me as Seth’s heart rate settles.

“Can you stay here tonight?” I whisper, my breath ruffling his hair where his head lies on my shoulder.

“Sure,” Seth replies. “If I text my mom to let her know. But won’t it be boring for you, watching me sleep?”

“Not at all,” I insist. “I can’t think of a better way to spend a night.”

Seth snorts. “I bet you can,” his voice is suggestive and I chuckle.

“Well, maybe I can... and maybe we can do some more of that when you’ve had some sleep.”

Seth rolls out of bed and texts his mom, before going to the bathroom do to the things that humans need to do before they go to bed. Then we climb under the ruined duvet together and I wrap myself around him as he drifts into sleep. The minutes and hours drift by and I let my thoughts wander, soothed by the warm body in my arms as the night passes. There’s no place I’d rather be.

**Chapter 22  
Riley**

****By the time August comes around I think that I’m ready to start trying to get closer to humans. I talk to Edward and Jasper about it first and they agree. They can gauge my responses when I expose myself to human scents and they both believe that I’ll be able to control myself.

We have a family meeting on a Saturday morning to discuss it, and Seth attends too. 

I feel part of the Cullen family now. They’ve made me so welcome and I’ve been told in no uncertain terms by Carlisle and Esme that they regard me as one of them, and that I’m welcome to stay with them for as long as I want or need. 

Seth is completely relaxed around the Cullens too. He gets along particularly well with Edward and Alice. The bond that he formed with them when they rescued me has persisted and they’ve become closer as he’s spent more time here over the summer.

“Are you sure about this, Riley?” Carlisle asks me. “If Edward and Jasper think you’re ready then we’ll support you. But I just want to be sure that _you_ think it’s time.”

Carlisle’s handsome face is serious as he fixes his gaze on me. He’s full of contradictions. He looks so young and beautiful, frozen in time in his twenties when he was changed. But the wisdom in his face makes it possible to believe how many years he’s seen pass by. He’s experienced so much -- more than I can possibly imagine.   
**  
**“Yes,” I nod. “I’m ready, I want to try... and I think I can handle it.”

I’m desperate to prove myself, to be allowed more freedom. I hope that if I work at my control I’ll even be able to go back to school in September. I want to be able to graduate, to hang out with Seth and our friends, to have as normal a life as possible. 

But most of all, I want to see my mom. 

“Okay,” Carlisle smiles. “When?”

“As soon as possible,” I say. “Tomorrow? I can hunt in the morning and Mom can come over in the afternoon if that’s okay.”

Carlisle looks around the room and everyone nods their assent. They’ll all be here to support me -- and to protect my mother if the need arises. 

“Thank you,” I look around at them. “Thank you so much. And not just for this... but for everything.”

They smile back at me, even Rose’s lips curve in a small acknowledgement that tells me that I’m accepted. Esme pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek.

“You’re welcome, Riley.”

XOXOXOX

I hunt with Edward and Alice in the morning. I bring down a deer and drink until I physically can’t take anymore blood. 

Mom is driving over in the afternoon, bringing Seth with her. I’m glad that he’s going to be there too. His presence always helps to ground me, to make me remember why I’m fighting this. 

I’m wound tight before they arrive, full of nervous energy that crackles through me. I stay in my room, needing to be alone with my thoughts as I pace up and down in front of the window, on alert for the sound of a car in the driveway. After what feels like forever I hear a familiar engine approaching, followed by the crunch of tires on the gravel.

I stop pacing and clench my fists tightly, looking out at the trees, willing myself to be able to do this. My emotions are all over the place, the longing to see my mom laced with the terrible fear that I might hurt her -- or at least that I might try to hurt her. With the Cullens and Seth as bodyguards, I’m absolutely sure that I won’t be able to do her any actual damage, even if I lose control. But the thought of failing, of letting everyone down, is unbearable. I have to be able to cope.

I wait in my room, listening to the sounds of the front door opening, the voices of Esme and Carlisle as they invite them in. I hear my mom’s voice and grit my teeth, fighting the urge to run downstairs and hug her. That could only end in disaster.

I wait, frozen, unable to will myself into movement and I hear footsteps on the stairs and the swish of my door being pushed open. I know immediately from his scent that it’s Seth, I don’t need to turn around to see him. 

He moves up close behind me and puts his arms around me, pressing his face against the back of my neck. “You can do this,” he says calmly.

I turn in his arms and hold him tightly for a moment, breathing him in. Warm skin, heart pounding, blood pulsing. He may not be entirely human, but he’s not completely different. I think about my Mom, I can smell her on him. My throat burns a little but I ignore it. 

“Okay,” I mutter against his shoulder. “Let’s do it.”

He takes my hand and leads me out of the room and down the stairs. Her scent hits me as I descend and I pause halfway down, forcing myself to breathe it in, holding myself utterly still as my throat tightens and burns more fiercely. But it’s okay, I can handle it. My desire to see her makes it worth the torture of denying my appetite.

I move again, and Seth keeps a tight hold on my hand as we enter the living room and stop just inside the door. 

Mom is sitting on the couch flanked by Esme and Alice, the rest of the Cullens are spread out around the room, still as statues. Mom stares at me as I enter. Her eyes flit across my features, taking in the changes in my appearance. I hear her heart beating rapidly and she smiles tentatively at me, her eyes bright with tears. I breathe in again, testing myself. It’s painful as her scent fills my consciousness, and I can’t deny that I want blood -- but I don’t want to hurt her. 

I can do this. 

The Cullens watch us. It feels like some strange performance with them as a silent audience. I don’t know what to say, feeling self-conscious in front of them. I know that they’re all poised, ready to move at the slightest sign of me losing control.

“Riley,” Mom whispers, and a tear escapes, sliding down her cheek. She doesn’t seem to notice it.

“Hi, Mom,” I reply, my voice a strangled sound. Seth squeezes my hand tighter. I realize that I don’t have anything to say to her; I speak to her on the phone every day anyway. All I really want right now is to be close to her, to touch her. But I’m terrified.

Mom grips her skirt, twisting her fingers into the fabric. “You look...” she stumbles over her words. “You look well... you’re different, not quite like yourself but better than I was expecting.” She keeps talking, a nervous babble of words. “You’re paler but I would never know that you were... that you weren’t...” she breaks off. “Your eyes are the most different thing.”

I nod stiffly. “Yeah, they look better now though. They were red at first; I hated them when they were like that.” My eyes are like the Cullens’ now, pale amber at the moment as I keep myself so well fed.

“Can you come closer?” she whispers, then looks around at the Cullens as though asking their permission. 

“I think so,” I glance at Edward and Jasper and see nothing in their faces to warn me against it. 

I release Seth’s hand from my grip and slowly advance across the room. I move silently; the only sounds in the room are the steady heartbeats of Seth and my mom, and their hushed breathing.

I pause a few feet from her and assess the burn in my throat, my emotions, my instincts. 

I’m okay. 

I catch Edward’s eye and he nods imperceptibly, a hint of a smile on his lips. 

I move the last two steps and drop to my knees in front of her, putting my hand out to take hers where it sits in her lap. I fold my fingers around the fragile skin and bones of my mother’s hand, feeling her human warmth, the pulse of her blood under my fingertips, so close to the surface. I smell her scent and venom pools in my mouth but I swallow it down -- fighting and winning. My eyes are on hers and there are tears on her cheeks but she’s smiling too, and I feel my face split into a slow smile to match hers. 

I lay my head in her lap, while she strokes my hair gently with her free hand, just like she used to do when I woke after childhood nightmares. And I forget that anyone else is in the room.

XOXOXOX

After that first meeting it gets easier every time. Mom comes to see me every day now but I’m careful and I take things slowly. It’s several meetings before I dare to hug her, my face perilously close to the veins in her neck. But I trust myself, I would never risk trying it if I didn’t. 

After a week of spending time with Mom, Edward brings Bella to the house for the first time since I’ve been living here. But Edward is so protective of Bella, I know that there’s no way he would ever let her come here if he thought there was even a tiny possibility of me hurting her. I sit with them in the living room, on the couch next to Bella and we talk for a while, and it’s fine. The burn is there as always, of course, but I’m able to ignore it. 

Bella’s fascinated to know how I’m handling it and quizzes me at length about how it feels, how the desensitization is working. I answer all her questions while Edward looks on, his face giving nothing away.

“So you’re still set on being changed, huh?” I ask her.

She flashes a glance at Edward but looks back at me before replying. “Yes,” her voice is determined. “I don’t see any other way that our relationship can work long term. And Edward knows I’m right.”

I look at Edward, he shrugs and rolls his eyes. 

I chuckle. “She’s worn you down then?”

“She _is_ right,” he sighs and Bella grins triumphantly. “I still don’t like it, but there’s no way around it. It’ll be safer for all of us if I change her anyway, we don’t want to attract the attention of the Volturi. And the longer our relationship persists the more likely they are to hear that I’m involved with a human who knows my secret.” 

“What about the pack?” I ask. Seth has talked with me about the treaty so I know that the situation isn’t simple.

“Sam isn’t totally against it, but he was worried about some of the others.” Bella replies. “He thought Jake would be a problem, but Seth talked with him about it and he wasn’t as vehemently opposed to it as we were expecting.”

“Wonders will never cease,” Edward says wryly, raising his eyebrows.

Bella glares at him. “Jake has only ever wanted me to be happy, Edward. Give him some credit; we’re lucky he’s on our side.”

“So is he?” I ask, “on your side now?”

“Pretty much,” Bella smiles. “I spoke with him a few days ago and I think he understands why I want this so much. Ironically, his views are much the same as Edward’s -- he doesn’t like it, and he would rather I stayed human. But he can see why I want to be changed and that in the long run it’s probably the only way that Edward and I can be together.”

“Wow,” I chuckle. “Edward and Jake in agreement about something? Has hell frozen over?”

“Very funny,” Edward frowns at me. “Whatever. The upshot is that Sam just needs to get the pack to agree that the terms of the treaty can be broken in this particular case, and then we can work out when is the best time to go ahead with it.”

“What about Charlie?” I wonder how they’re going to handle that. He’s not a Quileute, so he has no reason to know about any of this strange supernatural world that his daughter is entering willingly. “And your mom in Arizona?”

Bella’s face falls. “Well, I’ll have to stay away from them for a while of course, but they think that I’m going to be going away to college anyway so we can use that as a cover story. But we’re hoping that we can get away without them asking any awkward questions for a few years. And when they do... well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

I nod, feeling sympathy for Bella. This life isn’t something that I would ever have chosen for myself, but at least she’s going into it with her eyes wide open. And I know better than anyone that the choice she’s making isn’t an easy one.

XOXOXOX

Now that my control is better around humans I’m impatient to be able to go out without a chaperone. 

In fact, what I really want is to be able to go out with Seth as my companion. That way, we can be truly alone together in a way that we never can in the Cullen house where everyone can hear us, and Edward and Jasper know our every thought and feeling if they’re paying attention to them. 

Seth and I are used to it of course, it’s the way things are in the Cullen house and you have to just ignore it and not let it freak you out. But I long to get far enough away from the house that our thoughts and emotions can truly be our own for a change. 

I discuss it with Edward and he agrees that I’m ready. It’s only been a couple of months; technically I’m still a newborn, but with the support of the Cullens, the love of Seth, and my own determination I’ve made such fast progress I now have the control of a much older vampire. Edward has monitored my every thought in my last few interactions with Mom and Bella and he’s confident that I’ll be fine.

Plus I’ll have Seth with me, and I find everything easier to deal with when he’s there.

Seth picks me up early in the morning on a clear day in mid August. The sun is still rising and the trees cast long shadows on the driveway as I emerge from the house to greet him. 

We grin at each other, excitement rising in both of us at what we’re about to do. I can’t wait to be outdoors with him, to have the freedom to run together, hunt together, be together -- just the two of us.

He takes my hand and leads me into the trees.

I watch him as he strips. He’s so fucking beautiful and I feel my desire for him surge as my eyes slide over his naked body but I tamp it down. _Not yet._

He grins at me then shifts effortlessly, and boy becomes wolf. He’s magnificent.

And we run.

We run tirelessly, covering miles as we head far into the forests, high into the mountains as the sun rises in the sky. We want to get as far away from humanity as we can to be sure that I won’t be distracted by human scent when I’m in hunting mode.

Seth watches in wonder as I bring down a mountain lion and tear into its throat, drinking the hot, tangy blood. I gulp unselfconsciously, focused on nothing but feeding as my instincts take over. But when I’m done I look down at the broken body beneath me, the blood staining my hands and shirt, sticky on my lips and chin, and I’m afraid to meet Seth’s eyes. 

What if he’s disgusted at seeing me like this, at being reminded of what I am, what I’m capable of? 

I stand over the body of the mountain lion, afraid to turn and look at him.

Seth yips, a soft bark.

I hear him pad closer on his huge feet and feel a damp nose nuzzle my neck and a very wet tongue licking my ear. I finally turn around and he keeps licking me, lapping my face clean as I squirm and chuckle in mock-protest.

“So you’re okay with this?” I ask him when he finally stops. “I thought you’d be grossed out by it.” I’m still not convinced and my voice is small, uncertain as I look down again, avoiding his intense, wolfy-stare.

And then he’s a boy again, not a wolf. And his arms are wrapping themselves around me and his mouth is on mine and his hips are pressing into me. I gasp when I realize that he’s already hard.

“I’m totally okay with it,” he moves his lips to my jaw and his warm breath whispers against my skin as he murmurs the words. “I love you, Riley, and this is who you are. It’s fine... and honestly? Watching you bring down a mountain lion was actually seriously hot... is that weird?”

I laugh, shocked and delighted. “Maybe a little,” I tease. “It’s kind of an unusual kink, don’t you think?”

“Well our whole fucking life is weird,” Seth holds my face in his hands, his eyes serious now. “But I’m okay with that, if you are?”

I nod, my throat tight. The tenderness in his face makes me feel raw, but the hunger is still there, too, and when he leans in to kiss me again it’s not soft and sweet anymore. It’s hot and needy and desire shoots through me, jolting down my spine into my groin, taking me over.

I start to tear at my clothes but Seth stops me. “Let me,” he gasps, laughing. “Unless you want to have to go back to the Cullens half naked.”

He deals with the frustrating buttons and zippers as I kick off my shoes. He helps me peel off my clothes until I’m standing naked before him. He steps close to me again and our hard cocks brush, making me growl with want. I need him. I can’t wait any longer, I have to have him, to make him mine. The urge is primal, powerful, and I’m tired of resisting.

It’s as though Seth knows what I’m thinking because he holds our cocks in his hand, pushing his body closer to mine and grinding us together as he strokes us. His lips are on my shoulder, my neck as he kisses me, then licks and nips, tongue and teeth. He doesn’t speak but he shows me how desperate he is, how his desire matches mine.

I let my instincts take over and I pull him against me, hitching his legs up over my hips so I can lift him. I carry him effortlessly to a nearby tree and push him up against the trunk. Seth squirms against me and kisses me hard on the mouth, his hand still around our cocks, sliding, pulling, smearing his thumb, sharing our wetness. 

I kiss my way down his body, careful with my teeth but sucking and using my tongue to make him gasp when I flick his nipples. He drops his legs again, supporting himself so I can move lower. His scent drives me crazy as I get closer to his groin, where it’s at its most intense. I bury my nose in the dark curls and my senses are flooded with his warm musk. 

I taste him in my mouth as I lick his balls, then I draw my tongue up the underside of his cock, looking up at him as I do it. His face is flushed, and as his eyes meet mine he moans and thrusts his hips, pushing his cock against my lips. I take him in my hand and close my mouth around the tip, just for a moment, swirling my tongue to catch all the pre-cum before I release him, mindful of my teeth. I’m far too turned on to be able to be careful enough right now.

He whimpers in protest as my lips slip away and his hands reach for my hair to pull me back. But I grab his hips and turn him roughly, pressing him up against the tree and pushing his legs apart.

“Oh, fuck,” his voice is hoarse with need. He arches his back, and I grab his ass, pulling him open and licking a long swipe up his crack. “Fuck,” he moans again as my tongue passes over his hole and he bucks back against me, wordlessly asking for more.

I lick again, and again, and each time my tongue touches the furl of his entrance he jerks and whines. “ _More..._ Riley, please! _”_  
 _  
_I focus on the tender flesh, right there, giving him what he wants as he writhes and pushes back against me and I lap and suck and dip my tongue inside until he’s dripping with my venom and my cheeks are wet with it.

“Oh, God, Riley... I want you...” he gasps, desperate, “I want you to fuck me. _Please_... I need to feel you inside me.”

I tear my mouth away from his ass to answer. “What if I hurt you?”

“You won’t,” he insists. 

“But...” 

“I’m not some fragile little human,” he growls. “I’m pretty hard to break, Riley; and I heal fast. I want this... I want _you_."

I can’t deny him or myself any longer.

“Okay.”

I get to my feet behind him, spitting venom into my hand and using it to slick my dick. He’s wet from my tongue and already partly stretched. I’ve never done this before but that doesn’t stop me. Acting on instinct I push two fingers into him and they slide in easily, his body willing, wanting. His clinging heat makes me gasp.

I withdraw my fingers and replace them with my cock, pressing in as slowly as I can, trying to be gentle. But Seth has other ideas, and he pushes back, taking me deep before I can stop him. We both cry out at the sensation, he’s so hot and tight around me and his back arches beautifully as he hisses and curses. 

I keep absolutely still, my hands roaming over Seth’s back and shoulders, stroking him, soothing him. But he only needs a moment. He reaches back and grabs my hips, encouraging me to move.

“I’m okay,” he mutters. “It feels good... fuck me.”

I try to move slowly at first, but it feels so amazing I can’t stop myself. Seth urges me on, driving his body back so that my hips slap against his ass with each thrust. He’s burning hot, sweat trailing down his spine, his scent intense. I feel surrounded by him, lost in him. The white heat builds in my groin, every slam of my cock inside him taking me closer. 

“Fuck... Seth... I’m close,” I hiss. “I can’t stop it.”

“Then don’t,” his voice is hoarse. “I want to feel you come inside me.”

I fuck him harder, gripping his hips and moving faster as I lose control. When my climax rips through me I push deep and still, my cock jerking inside him as I come with a growl of release, filling him with my cum. 

When I finish he turns his head, kissing me hungrily. I reach around to feel his cock, he’s still painfully hard. 

“You didn’t come too?” I feel bad. I didn’t think about his pleasure, I was too focused on my overwhelming need for release.

“Not yet,” he grins. “I could have, easily, but I didn’t touch myself... because I want to come inside you.”

“Well what are you waiting for?” I pull out of him and he turns to face me, kissing me again, pressing his cock against my stomach. He spins me around, turning me so that I’m facing the tree like he was and he drops to his knees behind me, opening me up with his thumbs so he can lick me just as I did him. He gets me good and wet and when I feel him stand I thrill with anticipation. My cock is hard again already, pressing into the tree. For the first time that I recall, I’m actually glad to be vampire. It would probably hurt like fuck if I wasn’t. 

I’m expecting him to push inside me but he surprises me by turning me around and pushing me back against the tree. His mouth is hot and demanding as he nips my jaw, licks my neck. He lifts me, pulling my legs around his hips. 

“This way,” he murmurs, his lips tickling my collarbone. “I want to see you.”

He eases me down onto his cock. I’m tight and there’s resistance but he pushes and breaches me. It burns from the heat of his body more than the stretch; it’s hard to hurt a vampire. It feels good and I tell him so, clutching his shoulders and urging him on. 

He fucks me hard and fast, his brow furrowed with concentration, breath coming in gasps. He’s slick with sweat and I know that he’s nearly there. 

I wrap one hand around myself and pump in time with his thrusts, I’m close again already and each time he slams me down on his cock I feel the tension building, rippling through me from where we’re joined. I’m kissing his neck and shoulders, licking his skin, tasting his sweat.

Seth comes with a harsh cry and his cock pulses, spilling hot inside me and the heat of his release triggers my own. I lose myself, unaware of what I’m doing and bite down on his shoulder as I come and only dimly register the taste of his blood in my mouth as I spasm around him, my cum shooting between us, covering our bellies. 

When I realize what I’ve done I pull back in horror, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. The red smear it leaves behind is like a brand. I look at the damage, perfect crescent teeth marks in the beautiful smooth skin of Seth’s shoulder, leaking blood.

“Oh, God! I’m so sorry.” 

I struggle weakly in his hold. Trying to get him to release me and put me down. I feel so ashamed, so disgusted with myself. But Seth’s arms are around me and he holds me tight, his cock still inside me. I can’t go anywhere.

“It’s okay,” his voice is gentle. “Riley, look at me!”

I drag my eyes unwillingly up to his face. “I can’t believe I hurt you,” I whisper.

“It’s nothing,” he insists. “It hardly hurts at all and it’ll heal in no time. Please don’t let it spoil this, Riley.”

“It’ll leave a scar,” I can’t bear the thought that I’ve harmed him, damaged him permanently.

“Maybe,” he shrugs, then leans in to kiss my lips softly. “But you know what? If it does, I’ll be glad... because it will always remind me of this. The first time you fucked me. The first time we did this together as we are now, wolf and vampire. And it will remind me that I’m yours, and you’re mine and that we’re meant to be together.”

“I love you,” I whisper, overcome with the intensity of my emotions.

He smiles radiantly, “I love you too. Always.” 

**Chapter 23**

**Seth**

****“And this is what _you_ want, Bella?” Sam addresses her as she puts her case to the council. Her chin lifted and her gaze clear.

She nods. “Yes, the choice is mine and mine alone. It took Edward a long time to even agree to it and he’s still not entirely happy. But I know it’s what’s right for me.”

“How can you be sure you won’t change your mind?” Billy Black challenges her. “You’re barely eighteen, Bella. Scarcely more than a child. And what about your father, do you think he would want this for you?”

Her face flickers but her voice is strong as she replies. “My father would want me to be happy. And Edward is the only one who can make me truly happy.” She turns to address Sam directly. “Can you imagine a life without Emily? Would you ever try to tell Seth that he’d be better off without Riley? Edward is my mate. I know it, he knows it. We just want to be together and this is the only way.”

Silence falls as the pack consider her words. Bella catches my eye and I give her a small smile of encouragement, impressed by her confidence. I glance around the circle, most faces are impassive but Paul is scowling, predictably. But I know that Bella has already won over the people whose opinions really count. We all know that this meeting is really only a formality. 

“Jake,” Old Quil’s voice pulls my attention back. “Are you happy with this? We all know how you felt about Bella, don’t you have anything to say?”

Jake has his fingers wrapped around Leah’s as he speaks. “You all know that I loved Bella. And I still do... as a friend. I can see how much Edward means to her and he’s equally devoted. Bella knows exactly what she’s doing and it’s her choice. I won’t oppose it.”

“Thank you,” Bella smiles at Jake, warmth and genuine affection in her face. 

Sam speaks again now. “Bella’s an adult, she’s making an informed decision here and I think we need to respect it. Although Edward changing Bella would violate the terms of the treaty as it stands, the treaty is ancient and nobody ever anticipated a situation like this at the time that it was written. This is unprecedented and needs to be considered as such.” He looks around the circle, his dark eyes serious, face impassive. “The Cullens have proved themselves to be our allies and many of us now count them as our friends, too. They’ve helped us, welcoming Riley and supporting him and Seth through so much. I don’t want our refusal of this request to cause a rift that can never be fixed. If we don’t give our permission, then Edward and Bella will both have to leave their families and friends in order to be together. I don’t believe it’s fair that we put them in that position.”

He looks around the circle once more, looking for any signs of dissent. Paul’s face is dark but he doesn’t speak, just shrugging when Sam’s eyes meet his. 

“So,” Sam addresses us all. “It’s decided.” He turns to Bella now and speaks to her directly. “Bella, you can tell Edward and the rest of the Cullens that we won’t interfere. Edward can change you and it won’t affect our alliance with his family. We give you our blessing.”

“Thank you,” a smile blooms on her face. “Thank you all so much.”

The meeting ends shortly afterwards, with everyone drifting away to talk in small groups as people start to leave. Bella comes up to me and hugs me, kissing my cheek. 

“Thank you, Seth. I’m so grateful for all you did.”

“That’s okay,” I hug her back. “It’s the least I could do for Edward after everything he’s done for Riley. I’m glad that you’ll get your forever with him now.”

“Yeah,” she grins. “So I guess this means I’ll be your sister in law eventually, huh?”

I chuckle. “I don’t know... maybe?” Riley and I have never talked about making our relationship official, we haven’t felt the need. Our bond is so deep, so certain, that I don’t see how a piece of paper or exchanging rings could make it any different. But I’m not opposed to it and it’s definitely crossed my mind more than once.

“Edward’s already asked me,” she leans in close, her voice quiet. “I even have a ring, but I wanted to tell Jake before I start wearing it. It feels silly, being engaged at my age,” she wrinkles her nose. “But Edward’s old-fashioned like that.”

I laugh. “Well, what do you expect? He is over a hundred years old.”

She giggles. “Yeah, sometimes it’s not hard to remember that with Edward.”

Jake comes over to join us and something in his face makes me decide to give them some privacy, so I move away a little and find Leah on her own, clearly waiting for Jake. 

“Hi,” I say as I approach. Leah’s eyes are on Jake and Bella, and she looks tense and wary. She doesn’t reply. “It’s okay,” I reassure her. “You know he’s over her. He wouldn’t ever have agreed to Edward changing her otherwise.”

“Yeah,” she shrugs, a touch of the angry Leah back in her scowl. “Doesn’t mean I have to like her though, does it?”

We watch as Bella and Jake talk quietly together, he smiles at her and she murmurs something, looking embarrassed. He speaks again and Bella rolls her eyes, then reaches into the pocket of her jeans and pulls something out. She holds it in the flat of her palm, showing it to Jake, and I realize that it’s a ring. 

“Is that what I think it is?” Leah asks. 

“Probably,” I reply, still watching the exchange between my friends. 

Jake grins at Bella and says something that I don’t hear, but she responds by slipping the ring onto the third finger of her left hand and holding it out for Jake to see. He pulls her into his arms and hugs her tightly and she hugs him back. Leah stiffens beside me and I nudge her.

“Lighten up, he’s just congratulating her.”

“Seriously?” Leah’s voice is amused. “She’s engaged and she’s barely out of high school -- How fucking white trash is that?”

“Quit being a bitch,” I say mildly. “I was thinking of asking Riley to marry me, and I’m still only seventeen.”

That shuts her up. 

“Really?” She turns and looks at me, her face shocked, but a smile creeps over her features despite herself.

“Yeah,” I blush. It’s something that’s been at the back of my mind since the day I went hunting with him. But I haven’t really taken the thought out and examined it too closely until now.

“Well... as long as you don’t expect me to be a bridesmaid,” she says thoughtfully, “then I don’t actually think that’s such a bad idea.”

“Good,” I say. “Because I think it’s going to happen.”

XOXOXOX

I don’t make a big deal out of the proposal. I think about trying to make it special, but I’m not good at that romantic stuff. 

We’re tangled naked together in the sheets of Riley’s bed one afternoon after a rather awesome sex session, basking in the afterglow. His cool fingers are tracing lazy patterns on my back as I lie, draped across his chest. It’s not totally spontaneous; I’ve been thinking about broaching the subject for a while and I suddenly realize that there’s never going to be a perfect time. So I just decide to ask him.

I pull free of his arms and he murmurs his protest as I lean off the side of the bed, reaching for my discarded jeans on the floor. He squeezes my bare ass as I stretch to reach them and I gasp and giggle, nearly falling onto the floor.

“What are you doing?” Riley grumbles. “Come back.”

I rummage in my pocket until my hand closes around the thing that I’ve been carrying around for a few days, and haul myself back up onto the bed, turning back to face him.

My heart is pounding and I know that he can hear it because he quirks his eyebrows at me. “What’s up?” he asks, looking down at my closed fist and then back up to meet my eyes.

“Riley...”  
 _  
Shit... should I be kneeling or something? I really haven’t thought this through._ _  
_  
He looks at me expectantly.  
 _  
Oh fuck it, I’m just going to say it. He’s my imprint, surely he’ll like the idea?_ _  
_  
“Okay,” I steel myself. “I know we’re not even eighteen yet... so we’ll have to wait a while to actually do it. But I know that this,” I gesture between us, “is forever - yeah?” I look at him pleadingly, and smile with relief when he nods at me, looking a bit confused. “So basically, what I’m trying to ask you -- and making a total mess of it apparently -- is... will you marry me?”

Comprehension floods his face and Riley grins at me. “Of course I will,” he replies and I sag with relief. 

“Oh shit,” I suddenly remember the thing in my hand. “I forgot this part. I didn’t want to get engagement rings because it seemed a bit weird... plus I can’t really wear a ring in case I forget to take it off when I phase.” I open my hand. “If you don’t like it you don’t have to wear it... but I just wanted to give you something...” my voice trails off as he reaches out to take the thing in my hand.

It’s a small, carved wooden wolf made from sand-colored wood. It’s threaded onto a leather thong, long enough that it can be worn around a neck -- or wrapped around a wrist a few times.

Riley picks it up with delicate fingers, examining it carefully. His eyes meet mine and I hold my breath.

“It’s beautiful,” his smile lights up his face. “Did you make it?”

I nod, “You like it?” 

“I love it, and I love you.” He hands it to me sits up, turning his back to me. “Tie it around my neck for me.”

I kneel behind him and tie the thin leather strand with trembling fingers. “Show me how it looks.”

He turns back and my eyes fall to the wolf. It sits in the hollow of his throat, lying against his pale skin. It looks perfect.

XOXOXOX

I’ve promised my mom that I’ll be home for dinner today, so a little later we dress and head down to the living room to be sociable for a while before I go. Alice is waiting just inside the doorway, her hands on her hips and her face expectant. Edward, Jasper and Esme are sitting around in the living room looking slightly sheepish.

I realize that no announcement is necessary.

“For fuck’s sake, Alice,” Riley rolls his eyes at her. “Can’t we at least pretend that our moms will be the first to know?”

“No,” she grins, then turns to me. “If you wanted to keep it a secret you should have proposed further away from me. I can’t help that I overheard.” She moves close to Riley and reaches to touch the little wolf at his throat, then looks at me again and smiles. “It’s beautiful.” 

And then she launches herself at both of us and is hugging and kissing us until we peel her off and put her down.

The others approach us more sedately but they all look happy for us, too. Esme folds me into her arms and kisses my cheek. “I’m so happy for you both.”

“Well, I guess I’d better call Mom now,” Riley says as he sees me to the door when it’s time for me to leave. “I’m seeing her tomorrow but I don’t want to wait now other people know. Will you tell Sue when you get home?”

“Yeah,” I grin. “I don’t think I could keep it a secret if I tried. “I’m way too fucking excited about it.”

“Me too.” He hugs me tightly before kissing my lips. “See you tomorrow.”

XOXOXOX

Both of our moms are thrilled of course, but I don’t think anyone can top Alice’s excitement. She’s like a kid in a candy store, with not one, but two weddings to plan. 

Edward and Bella’s will be first. Edward wants to marry Bella before he changes her and she’s agreed to that because it will mean that both of her parents will be able to be there. They’re planning a winter wedding and Edward is going to change Bella as soon as they return from their honeymoon. 

Riley and I are going to wait until we’ve graduated high school and will have our wedding next summer. We promise Alice that she’ll be allowed to help us plan it, but we already have a few ideas about how and where it’ll be, so she has to be prepared to fit in with that. I can already tell that we’re going to spend the next twelve months reining her in.

As the new school year approaches I know that Riley is getting nervous. 

He spends as much time as he can around Bella and his mom in the last couple of weeks of the holidays, and he copes fine with being in their presence. 

As part of Riley’s desensitization program -- as we call it -- Carlisle brings home some blood samples from the hospital. Riley exposes himself to small quantities of human blood several times a day in the last week before we go back to school. He needs to be sure that he’ll be able to fight his instinct to feed even if someone around him at school has an open wound or injures themselves.

It’s incredibly hard for him but he does amazingly well, and Edward and Jasper are confident that he’s ready to start school again in September. I’m so fucking proud of him, and really happy that he’s going to be able to come back so soon. We’re going to take as many classes together as we can so that I can support him, and the other seniors who know his secret -- Alice, Jake, Quil and Embry are going to help babysit him too. Riley hates it when we call it that, but it’s pretty apt for a newborn vampire and it amuses the rest of us so he has to suck it up.

The night before our first day back I sleep over at the Cullens’ house. Riley’s anxious and I distract him for as long as I can. We lick and suck and fuck till I’m exhausted and Riley finally insists that I sleep. I’m too tired to put up much of a fight. He stays in bed with me, wrapping his cool body around my sweat-slick skin as I let sleep claim me.

In the morning I’m woken by the touch of Riley’s lips on my shoulder. I’m sprawled on my back and he’s lying beside me. I keep my eyes closed, although he usually knows when I’m awake from the changes in my breathing and heart rate. His tongue flicks out and traces the sensitive lines of the scar on my shoulder, circling the shape of his bite mark slowly. It healed within a few hours, as I knew it would, and I love the silvery crescent marks on my tan skin, the visible reminder of my mate and the bond between us. Riley took a while to stop feeling bad about it, but finally admitted it looks kind of beautiful. 

I shiver under the touch of his tongue and he chuckles, his hands skimming over my belly and chest. But I keep my eyes closed and lie still, enjoying the lazy sensation of my lover’s hands and mouth. He moves lower, licking and sucking a trail down my chest and stomach until he reaches my cock. I’m hard for him already, and twitch in anticipation as I feel his cool breath on my hot, sensitive skin.

Gentle fingers lift my erection and then Riley’s mouth slides around it, taking me deep in one slow movement. I gasp and open my eyes, lifting my head to look, and his golden eyes are fixed on mine as he smiles around my cock. He’s never taken so much of me since he was changed, he’s always too wary of hurting me. But today he covers his teeth carefully with his lips and sucks me, his tongue creating perfect pressure with each pass.

“So good...” I hum, threading my hands into his hair.

He spreads my legs with his hands and reaches up, giving me his fingers to suck until they’re wet. I shiver as he slips his fingers from my mouth and when I feel them circling my hole my body tenses in expectation of pleasure. Riley presses in one and then both, sucking me all the while. I prop myself up on my elbows so I can watch him and his eyes meet mine again, watching me lose myself in sensation as he works my body with his mouth and fingers. 

When I come, my hips flex and my toes curl as the sensation courses through me. Riley catches every drop and pulls off to swallow, smiling, then takes me back into his mouth and sucks me clean. My hips jerk with aftershocks and I gasp and pull on his hair, dragging him up to kiss me, tasting my salt on his tongue. I feel his cock brushing hard against mine, so I wriggle underneath him, scooting down the bed to suck him. He groans as my lips close around him and I pull on his hips, encouraging him to fuck my mouth. 

“Oh, God... Seth,” he moans as he resists, trying to be gentle. 

But I don’t want him to be gentle, I love the feeling of him losing control so I grab his ass and urge him on, sucking and licking and swallowing around him as my mouth fills with saliva. 

It doesn’t take long and he comes with a harsh cry, his cock swelling and pulsing in my mouth as he empties into my throat. I choke a little but swallow it all, still sucking on him until he pulls back and slips out of my mouth. 

He rolls off me, onto his back and pulls me on top of him, kissing me hard, his hands tangling in my hair. His lips drag down to my jaw, my neck, my shoulder.

“That was amazing,” he murmurs. 

“Mm,” I agree. “The perfect way to start the day... but now we’d better get ready for school or Alice will give us shit for being late to leave on the first day back.”

XOXOXOX

It’s weird arriving at school in Alice’s car instead of on the bus from the res. I feel self-conscious getting out of Alice’s ridiculously showy yellow Porsche. Her choice of vehicle guarantees that all eyes are on us as we step out of it and walk across the parking lot. 

I take Riley’s hand as we walk. We were out before the summer anyway so our relationship isn’t a secret. Anyway, one of the perks of having superhuman strength and a vampire boyfriend is that I’m not afraid of anyone giving us any trouble. They’ll only try it once.

I stick close to Riley’s side for as much as the morning as I can. We’re in the same home room and have most of our classes together. Alice is with him for the ones that I’m not, so I know he’ll be okay.

In a muttered conversation at recess Riley assures me that he’s fine. It’s not easy, but he’s coping. The constant exposure to the huge number of humans around school is a challenge for him because it’s not something he’s used to, but he’s dealing with it. He has an escape planned if necessary. His mom has informed the school that the illness he was being treated for has left him weak and that he tires easily. If it becomes too much for him he can leave a message with the school nurse and go home anytime he needs, but he tells me he’s doing fine and wants to stick it out. I’m so fucking proud of him and I tell him so.

In our classes I notice many of the other students looking at Riley curiously. He’s undeniably different but his pallor can be explained by a medical condition; his eyes are harder to rationalize. But nobody asks him; the instinctive embarrassment that people have around people who are sick protects him from awkward questions.

At lunchtime we’re two of the first people to enter the cafeteria. We get our trays and pick some food. Riley’s nose wrinkles at the smell of it, and I nudge him to remind him to look more enthusiastic.

We pause as we instinctively move toward the table where we always used to sit with the other kids from the res. Everything is different now. Of course the older kids have moved on anyway so half of the familiar faces won’t be showing up. 

I stop by a different table, somewhere between our old table and the Cullens’ one. 

“Here?” I look at Riley and he shrugs.

“Fine by me.” 

So we each take a seat, side by side, and wait to see who’ll decide to join us.

Jake shows up next, sliding in opposite me with a grin. “Hey,” he greets us, then digs into the food on his tray.

Alice follows shortly after, bouncing over to join us and sitting beside Jake. She smiles sympathetically at Riley who’s looking disgusted by the food in front of him.

“Just cut it up and push it around,” she advises. “Humans really don’t notice, they’re not very observant.”

“Send it my way,” I say to Riley. I’ve finished eating already but I always have room for more.

“Okay,” he grins and surreptitiously starts passing me bits of food from his plate.

Alice smirks at us. “Handy having a pet wolf to feed; every undercover vamp should have one for disposing of unwanted food. Do you want mine, Jake?”

“Hell yeah!,” Jake replies. 

The wolf metabolism means that we rarely turn down food. So by the time lunch is over there are four clean plates at our table, and everybody’s happy.

I look around at the four of us -- two wolves and two vampires, laughing and joking together, and I think about my life and how much has changed in such a short time. But as Riley turns and grins at me, taking my hand and squeezing as he laughs at something that Jake’s just said, I realize that my life is actually pretty perfect right now. 

I smile back at Riley and he leans in, brushing his lips playfully over mine, heedless of the whispers and stares that his affectionate gesture elicits from other tables around the cafeteria. I curl my hand around the back of his neck and pull him closer, kissing him back. 

Riley’s everything to me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

****

Epilogue

**Seth**

****I grimace at my reflection in the mirror in the hallway. Objectively I suppose that I look okay -- I just don’t look like _me_. The expensive fabric of the lightweight suit feels unfamiliar on my skin. I fiddle with my tie again, adjusting it minutely.

“You look pretty damn good, little bro,” Leah reassures me. “Now stop fussing.”

“I feel weird,” I grumble. “I wish I could just wear my jeans, Riley wouldn’t care.”

“You look great, honestly,” Jake reassures me. “If I can handle wearing a suit then you sure as fuck can do it without complaining. It’s your wedding after all.”

I turn to look at my best man. His suit is similar to mine, but a subtly darker shade of gray. Alice was in charge of our outfits of course, and I have to admit she’s done an awesome job. Riley will be wearing a suit like mine; while his best man, Edward, will be wearing the darker version. 

True to her word, Leah flatly refused to be a bridesmaid and wouldn’t let Alice take her shopping -- insisting that she didn’t need some tiny vamp-chick telling her what the fuck to wear. But she looks fantastic in the dress that she chose herself. It’s deep red silk and sets off her coloring perfectly. 

“I’ll go and see whether Mom’s ready,” Leah says. “You look hot in that suit,” she grins suggestively at Jake and squeezes his ass as she passes him. He jumps and gives a surprised chuckle.

“Have you got the ring?” I ask Jake anxiously.

“Of course,” he pats his breast pocket. “Give me some credit, Seth. It’s the most important job a best man has to do. I’m hardly likely to forget it.”

I chuckle, running a nervous hand through my hair, then curse as I realize I’ve messed it up again. “Fuck!”

Leah and Mom emerge and my mother approaches, her face glowing as she looks at me. “You look wonderful, sweetheart.” She smoothes my errant hair down carefully. “So handsome.”

“Okay,” Jake claps his hands together. “Are we ready?”

I take a deep breath and nod. “Yeah, let’s do it.” 

We squeeze into Jake’s Rabbit to drive the short distance to the beach at La Push. We’ll need the car later to get to the reception, which is going to be held at the Cullens’ house.

“Are you _sure_ you have the ring?” I can’t help myself.

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Jake pulls the velvet pouch from his pocket and passes it back to me. “Go on,” he says. “Check that it’s inside, and then you can shut up about the damn thing.”

I tip the ring out into my hand and pick it up to look at it for the last time before I get to put it on Riley’s finger. 

We’re having matching rings, white gold bands etched with a tribal design that we chose together. But because I can’t wear a ring when I shift, we decided that mine will only be worn on special occasions -- otherwise one day I’ll be bound to forget to take it off and will either break the ring or my finger when I phase. I have an appointment in a couple of weeks to have the interlocking design tattooed onto my finger instead, so it will be there always.

I slip the ring back into the bag and hand it back to Jake.

“Can we go now?” he rolls his eyes at me.

“Yes.” 

Excitement and nerves ripple through me. Mom takes my hand and squeezes as the car starts to move.

 

**Riley**

****“Alice, I can tie my own fucking tie,” I snap. “Will you please just leave me in peace?”

I’m this close to tearing my hair out. 

Don’t get me wrong, I adore Alice and I’m generally very grateful for her tireless enthusiasm when it’s come to planning our wedding. But sometimes she’s just too much to handle. I’m jittery already and she’s not helping matters.

“I wish Seth could have stayed here,” I mutter, fiddling with my tie again. “He always keeps me calm when I’m stressed out. I don’t see why you insisted on him going home last night.”

“Because it’s traditional,” Alice puts her hands on her hips and frowns at me. 

“Humph,” I huff. “It’s traditional for a wedding to be for two humans of the opposite sex. Nothing about this wedding is traditional!”

“Whatever,” she sniffs. “I think it’s a nice tradition and it will be all the more exciting when you get to see him at the ceremony after spending the night apart. You have a ridiculously long future together ahead of you, I’m sure you can cope with another hour.”

I’m about to lose my shit and snap at her, but fortunately we’re interrupted by Bella poking her head around the door. Her amber eyes catch mine and she flashes me a knowing look.

“Alice, Rose needs you right away. Can you come?”

Alice looks at me and raises her eyebrows.

“It’s fine Alice, you go help Rose. You can check my tie later.”

I never thought I’d have cause to be grateful to Rose, but she’s my savior this morning. The pre-arranged, deliberate hair-emergency gets Alice off my back, so I’m able to finish getting dressed and ready with a minimum of fuss.

Edward knocks on the door and enters just as I’m finishing up. 

“How do I look?” I ask uncertainly.

“You look fine,” he smiles. “I don’t know... I’m as clueless as most guys when it comes to clothes, but Alice knows her stuff, so just trust her when she tells you it’s perfect.”

We assemble in the living room while we wait for everyone to be ready to leave. Rose -- God bless her -- keeps Alice occupied until the eleventh hour and they’re the last to come downstairs. 

Rose shoots me a look as if to remind me that I owe her. I flash her a quick, grateful grin.

“Right,” Alice rushes over to me, her tiny hands tweaking and straightening as she inspects me carefully. “You look wonderful, Riley, so dashing. And that tie is the perfect color on you. 

Different colored ties are what make our outfits distinctive. Although my and Seth’s suits are the same, I’m wearing a dark amber tie that apparently complements my hair and eyes, while Seth’s is a deep burgundy. Edward and Jake, our best men, are each wearing different colors too -- an emerald green for Edward and a greenish-blue for Jake. 

I look around the room at the people assembled there, the people that I’ve come to think of as my family, just as much as my mom. A warm feeling spreads through my chest as they smile at me and my face splits into a huge grin.

Alice claps her hands. “Okay, are we all ready?” 

She takes charge again, ushering us all out of the house and into waiting vehicles. We didn’t bother to hire limos, the Cullens have more than enough vehicles between them.

I climb into the back of Edward’s Volvo, with Edward driving and Bella in the passenger seat. We’re stopping to collect my mom before heading to the beach so we pull away first, leaving the rest of the Cullens to follow.

“Are you okay?” Bella turns to smile at me. Her strange yellow eyes glow in her porcelain face. Bella makes a beautiful vampire. 

“I think so,” I nod. “It all feels a bit unreal.”

“I felt like that too,” she said, “as though it was happening to someone else.”

“Yeah, that’s it exactly!” It’s true. I can’t believe that in approximately an hour I’m going to be married. Seth will be my husband and I’ll be his. It’s crazy... but it’s wonderful too.

“No second thoughts?” she grins, already knowing the answer.

“Of course not,” I chuckle. 

I don’t have a single doubt in my mind.

 

**Seth**

****The weather couldn’t be better.

Of course the ideal weather for a wedding where one of the grooms and half the guests are vampires is a cloudy day -- which is exactly what we’ve been granted, thanks to Alice’s abilities. The sky is pale gray with high, light clouds and the sea stretches out beneath it like slate. There’s no wind and a gentle swell sends lazy waves spilling up the wet sand at the shoreline.

The beach is the perfect setting for what we’re about to do. It’s the place where we first met, where we shared our first kiss. It feels wonderfully appropriate that it’s also going to be the place where we promise to spend eternity together. I’m grateful that the pack agreed to allow us to have our wedding here. It’s testament to how much the relationship between the pack and the Cullens has changed.

We only wanted our closest friends and family present for this part of our day. There will be more guests at the reception later, but we wanted this part to be just for us and the people who matter the most. The ceremony is simple, using the standard vows. Billy Black is our officiant, as an Elder of the Quileute tribe, and I’m glad that there are no strangers here to spoil the intimacy of the occasion.

Riley looks beautiful, his face intent and his eyes fixed on mine as we say our vows. When it’s time to exchange rings, Edward and Jake step forward, placing them into our hands. As I slip my ring onto Riley’s finger, and he slips his onto mine, we smile at each other and it’s as though we’re the only two people present. 

When Billy finally pronounces us husband and husband, we grin at each other and are kissing before anyone gives us permission. I chuckle against Riley’s lips when people start clapping and I hear a catcall, which I’m pretty sure came from Quil or Embry.

Once the ceremony is over, the guests line the path back to the parking lot, waiting to congratulate us as we pass. Our moms, the Cullens, the pack -- they’re all united here to help us celebrate our love for each other. Even Paul is there, and I smile at him as he shakes Riley’s hand.

XOXOXOX

Back at the Cullens place we stand around, chatting and laughing with our guests as other people start to arrive. 

Charlie Swan turns up first; he’s my mom’s date for the evening. Their relationship is still fairly new and tentative, but he makes my mom smile in a way that I haven’t seen since Dad died. 

Kathy has a date this evening, too. She met a guy through her work as an administrator at Forks Hospital and they’ve been together for a few months now. He’s a clerk in the same department as her, and he’s a good man. Riley’s happy that his mom has met someone. He was worried about her being lonely with him living at the Cullens, knowing that he was unlikely to ever move back home.

It took us a while to decide where we’ll be living after we’re married. Even though the pack would allow Riley to live back on the res if he chose to, he wasn’t comfortable with the idea, feeling that he’d be under scrutiny and never entirely trusted. Likewise the Cullens made it very clear that I could live with them and I’m grateful for their acceptance. But it wouldn’t feel right for me to live there permanently, even though I’ve stayed there most nights for the last year. 

Esme came up with the perfect solution, suggesting that we move into a small cottage that’s on the edge of the Cullens’ land. It was dilapidated and needed lots of work to get it suitable to live in, but with Esme’s decorating skills and lots of hard work we’ve turned it into a beautiful place that will be perfect for us. We’re both going to college in Seattle in the fall, but when we come back for the holidays the cottage will always be there waiting for us.

Other friends drift in and soon the room is a noisy throng of people, drinking and chatting animatedly until Jake and Edward call for silence.

Riley and I stumble through our very short speeches, neither of us enjoys being the center of attention and we get our thank yous over with as fast as we can. But we kiss each other again when our friends raise their glasses and Riley chuckles at my flushed face. 

“You’re so cute when you blush, Mr Biers-Clearwater,” he murmurs against my cheek before pulling back to a respectable distance.

Nobody else makes any speeches; we don’t see the need for funny anecdotes about our childhood, or embarrassing stories about our teenage years. Our focus is on the future and we just want to get on with the celebrations so that we can finally leave and be alone together at last. I’m exhausted by the intense emotions of the day and I know that Riley is feeling the same. 

There are copious amounts of food and drink for the humans and the ever-hungry wolves, and Riley and the Cullens do a great job of pretending to partake. After the food there’s dancing, and I’m glad for the opportunity to pull Riley close to me even though I feel self-conscious when we’re the first couple to take to the dance floor. The others follow quickly though, and we relax in each other’s arms once we’re lost in a sea of bodies. We sway gently in time to the music, my hands on his waist and our cheeks pressed together as his hands slip into my hair. I breathe in his sweet scent and wish that I could take him to bed and peel his clothes off and find the skin beneath. _Soon_. 

Later there’s cake cutting, and cake eating, and I catch Riley’s eye across the room as we’re both caught up talking with people. He gestures with his head towards the door and raises his eyebrows questioningly. I nod and excuse myself from my conversation.

We go together to find Alice, the mistress of ceremonies, and she mock-glares as she sees us approaching.

“Already?” she shakes her head. “Very well, you lasted longer than I thought you might actually. Come along then, your carriage awaits.”

We’re driving up into the mountains for our honeymoon. We’re not going far, just to a cabin a couple of hours away, somewhere we can be alone together and enjoy some peace and quiet after all the fuss of the wedding. 

Alice organizes everyone with impressive speed, getting them out onto the driveway. Riley and I wait.

“So where’s the car?” I ask him. 

Neither of us owns our own car yet and Edward is lending us his Volvo while we’re away.

Riley shrugs. “Who knows?”

I see Alice murmur something to Edward and he goes off in the direction of the garage. The sound of an engine draws everybody’s attention and then the laughter starts.

My jaw drops as the Volvo pulls out of the garage and into the driveway. 

Alice has surpassed herself; I wondered where she’d sneaked off to while everyone was eating. Edward’s normally sedate silver Volvo has been liberally sprayed with rainbow stripes of paint and glitter. Silver balloons are tied onto every part that they could be, and the back window is plastered with the words ‘JUST MARRIED’ in bright pink paint. I’m laughing so hard that Riley has to hold me up. 

Edward shoots Alice a death-glare as he gets out of the car. “If this doesn’t wash off, you owe me a car,” he huffs. 

And finally it’s time. 

With a flurry of hugs and kisses and happy-tears we say our goodbyes. 

“Thank you for everything, Alice,” I say as I squeeze her. “Oh... and you did put our luggage in the trunk didn’t you?”

“You’re welcome, Seth. And of course I did,” she grins. “Not that you boys are going to need much in the way of clothing, anyway, I imagine.”

“Alice!” I scold -- although I hope that she’s right of course.

We extract ourselves from our well-wishers and climb into the glittery, multi-colored Volvo. I’m driving and we wind down the windows, waving to everyone as I pull away. 

I look in the rear-view mirror at the sight of our families and friends watching us go. Vampires, human and shape-shifters all with smiles on their faces. It makes my lips curve upwards too. Then Riley’s hand finds my knee and my smile gets even wider.

“Do you ever wonder whether we would have ended up together if we were both still human?” he asks.

“Sometimes,” I reply, because it’s true. “But then I think that it doesn’t really matter. Because this is what our life is now, and I wouldn’t change it.” 

“Me neither.”

His fingers squeeze my knee, a casual gesture of affection that says so much. I reach down to take his hand, and I lace our fingers together as I look forward at the road that stretches out ahead of us.

  
**The End**  


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End file.
